A  Articulate
C  Christ
D  Demon
C  Challenge

The writer group
session Australian
Hard Rock Lion
Rebirth Laptop
All grouped in
The City
Singer she thinks
her style of the pick
Raw sugar on me
The Taylor Swiftly
Her wings of
gravity
No  Ladybug  
Patriot Brady Bee

A group meeting
Got stung doing the
jitterbug
Jazzy lounge Bearhug
Music notes of Junk
Whole marriage records
So group me in
((Single))

Signed rotten Platinum
fink
Miss the concert line
Jibb
Jibbering
Riveting
Jive Five
The tribe
all feathered
Group( Kiss)
Dark eyes vibe
ACDC
the King of rock
You shock me all night
Elvis ain't nothing
hounded hitchhiked
ACDC-Money Talks
50 shades of the Greyhound
Those twin singers
Tinker Bell Groupies
Now it's the
Hells Bell
The four letter word

F--K_
F---K E Fake

What a ***** of
the light finger
The bands became
AARP Old Rocker
chair
What a **** in her
rocker pants

Drum roll
Headlights
Rock and Roll
Tour group of

FRANCE F- Friendship  R -Remain
A- And N- Never C-Can E-End

ITALY I- T-Trust  A-And L-Love Y You

ENGLAND E-Every N-New G-Guy L Leaves
A-After N-Ninety D-Days

The world in
Eighty tight money Days
Group 8 days a week
ahh I need
your love girl
I guess you know its true
And when you're Pregnant
Hey we are Rockers
we don;t have a clue
I phone fingers do the
Hard rock Art of music
strumming
Please no old
folks snoring

Days so long belly
stretched
The canvas
one-day creation
The car broke
her water broke
Due date
280 days
Group Pregnancy
pays

The mechanic
charging by
the hour
(Midas--
That Callgirl
not interested

Age of the rush
Pinterest pictures
Poison Ivy itching

Slower age Envy
To crush *******

And going back
Forever modern age
Hey world be clever
ACDC

We are all  a group
linked
My jackpot
My baby
most blissful
Inked in Pink

Hey my name is kelsie, my friends say I'm like a cat, I like cats .
I don't have any, I wish I did, ooh and I like food, and candy, I got my head stuck in a trampoline once between the two springs... oh I have ADHD, reminds me of ACDC, I love music like punk rock, screamo, metal, and old rock... I'm bored im a go find a cat.
Bye bye O.O^

We never listen to albums from beginning to end anymore.

Thanks, Spotify.
Sorry for sinning, Taylor Swift.
And I guess there is an owed apology to ACDC and the Beatles because you aren't on there either.

But guess what.

Today I actually listened to an old favorite from beginning to end.
(not you guys though)

Good News for People Who Love Bad News.

Every song. In order. And it threw me back to ninth grade,
Faster than even my favorite photograph could.

The lyrics made me scream them and the even the (three) interludes made me smile.

And you're right, Taylor,
It was a work of art.

Good thing it was nearly free
(99 cents for three months)

Or else my morning would have not have passed so swiftly. Or so modestly.

It was only when I held it in my hands. When I folded it gently between my palms, in wonder at the shocking lightness of it. When I held it up to my nose and looked cross-eyed at its insides. It was only then that I saw the perfect intricacies of it. It was only when I pried it open. When I traced the spidery web of it, in awe of the fragile unlikeliness of it. When I tugged at the tenuous knots of it.

When I tore it, ripped and stabbed, burned and bled it dry, When I hung it on a meat hook. I realized the luck of it all. Meeting you

But now its a different luck.  It’s My fault again.

Oh god the sweetness of blame.

So Sick of poetic *******, If I have something to say i’m gonna say it. ***** Shakespeare and Brand New and Death Cab. Tonight it’s ACDC

This morning i woke up to
My sister's alarm
6:30

I turned it off so fast
She didn't hear​ it.

I layed awake till 7
Just thinking about how
Fat I am
How useless I am
How cold the room is
Day dreaming about a TV show
Trying to distract myself
From the toxic thoughts
Spinning in my brain.

My alarm rings
And I jump out of bed.
I tell my sister that she slept in.
She's pissy.
Telling me to wake my littlest sister
Cuz she can't
Because she screams her awake.
Because she treats her like ****.
And my 8 year old sister replys
With a temper.

Who can blame her?
Having a huge 15 year old wake you
By screaming in your ear
To hurry the **** up.
Isn't cause for a calm rise.

In her room,
She sleeps like a little angel
You'd never guess
That her mouth is worse then our mothers
I crawl in beside her
Wishing I could just let her sleep.

I slowly shake her awake.
She's angry I ate ice cream without her.
"Finish your dinner next time"
I tell her
Before leaving to go to the restroom.

Shoving my fingers down my throat.
The least favorite part of my day.
But you grow used
To the burning and the choking.
I've dropped a lot this way.

Wiping my mouth
I think back
To when I first got to Portland.

My step dad hadn't seen me
In a little under a year.
Without him making me feel worthless
And the man I love telling me
That I'm beautiful
I had forgotten how ugly
How fat I truly am
Till we arrived at his garage
And he whispered
Laughing to my mother
"She got Chunky"
My mom laughing too.
I covered my fat,
Ugly
Stupid stomach
With my jacket.

I look into the mirror
I rased my shirt.
I lost a bit.
But I'm still fat.
I'm still ugly.

I feel too broken to cry.

I clean myself up

In the kitchen
I find the coffee has been on all night
Black burnt stuff covers the bottom.
So ugly
Gross

I start my coffee.
Just enough for a cup
And a travel mug for my friend and myself.
The more I drink
The more I'll ****
The more I can become somewhat better.
Skinnyer

I leave it to brew.
And get dressed.
All my jeans are *****.
My sister yells at me
For not washing them
I tell her
"I forgot"
She seems unconvenceed.
"Also I don't care."
That's a lie
I do.
I just didn't wanna get up.

Instead of jeans I wear black dress pants
And a black shirt.
I look plain.
I grab my cat ears.
They make me feel good.

My sister is wearing my shirt.
I tell her to leave it alone.
I don't want it to smell or feel like her.
She scares me.
She couldn't win a fight against me I know.
But something
Something about her
Makes me uneasy.

I feel guilty to think this
About the girl who lived in
The same womb I did.

I shake the thought.

She's yelling at the 8 year old.
Their gonna be late.
I watch them leave.
Hearing her yell all down the street.
Worried that maybe
Stuff happens on the way.

The dogs been following me
All around the house waiting for me
To take him to ***.
I take him and watch
As he runs down the stairs.

He ****** on a lawn.

I'm late.

I grab my coffee and drink a cup
In under a minute.
I hope this makes me lose my fat.
I grab my bag.
It's heavy
But not as heavy as my thoughts.

Ugly *****.

I need a smoke.

Oh ****. My bus passes me.

I run.
Aware of my bouncing stomach.
My ugly face.

I make it and smile at the driver.
Flashing her my school ID.
Covering my picture.
With my ugly face.

I don't find a cigarette anywhere before my train pulls up.
On the train.
I tell my mother I'm going to work force after school.
She says ok.

I need to get a job if I wanna go home.
I think about my man
And how I need this money
To get back to him
To get back to a happy place.

Or at least to gets some ******* ****.

I don't wanna think.
So I open my book.
An old friend.
"The Angel's command"

I read till I get to my spot.
Laughing at a joke.
I close it and turn on acdc.
Got no headphones
But the music makes me forget
How much I don't deserve him
For a bit.

I'm only a few minutes late.
A rare thing for me.
I normally miss half of class
And come in ******.

My Friend isn't here.
My other friend has no ****.
My English teacher talks about the play
Fences.
It was werid to hear these people talking
Like me.
As they read.
Though I'd been told
That I can't talk that way cuz I'm white.

My second class.
Current events.
I listen to stories of human stupidity

And I write this poem.

While I'm sober.

I hope at lunch
Someone has something to make me forget
About how useless I am.
About everything.

And at my third period
I hope my teacher
Doesn't make another joke
About my home.


And when I go to work force
I hope I find a job.

And when I go home.
I hope I ***** myself small.
I hope my sister isn't home.
I hope my mom's in a good mood.
I hope my ex step dad calls.
I hope my mom's boyfriend cooks dinner
Just so I can eat a lil and lose it right after.
I hope my shower doesn't end in crying.
I hope I add another chapter to my fan fic.
I hope my man calls and tells me he loves me.
I hope that I sleep without crying.
I hope that I don't see myself in the mirror.

It's gonna be a long day.

Mummy looked with Johnny
at the pages of a book before
Johnny went to bed .
Is God really like that Johnny said
an old man with a beard
On a cloud of soft Philadelphia ?
And is the devil have a pointy
Stick and like  ACDC  says
Hell ain't a bad place to be Mummy ?
'. Let's  turn the page and find out "

An Ambulance raced through Ashfords
Streets  with sirens and da da da s .
and on its way past a big red bus
Today you shall be with me in paradise
emblazoned on the side .

The crow landed on the place they called the skull .
and pecked at the rock for a while .
8 " Roman nails  hammered down  into an outstretched hand .
Ahhhh a cry of agony as the nail found blood and wood below . Again the other hand a blood curdling cry ,
the Savior of the world nailed on a cross to die .
I am the way truth life ' he said and suffered for our sin .
The good Shepheard , the gate to all who might enter in .
Yet they mock and scorn the unbeliever in coffee shops
and factory's .
' King of the Jews they say come down come down today ? '
Christ '.
Jesus '.
they cuss and swear ,
Like jeering crowd Barabus call ,
The *** swear and spit .

" Arnt. You afraid of God ? said the theif  who hung next to thee
Today you will be with me in paradise my Savior said to me .

Oh Violinist of Mosul who played on the roof as Daesh advanced  ,
And children of Syria who's  Assads. Chemical bombs dropped ,  for the humble of heart ,
Christ died for thee .
For the Aragant proud ,
Christ weeps ,
and for lost sheep may he never stop searching .
Oh bitter cup of wroth out of my Fathers. hand didst. Poor .
Bread and wine ,
Pass over lamb ,
the first born
A cross on the door .

' Anun Mithaleq '.

Darkness fell  at. noon ,
a mad  cattling hell cried out as
Satans Demons danced  ,
Gods judgment Fell .
Pitch black ,
The earth shook ,
Holy of holys curtain torn ,
And a game of top trumps is played out in the heavens .
And as three hours passed ,
Christ breathed his last ,
Father into thy hands I commit thy spirit .

Oh rotting corpse ,
and linen ties in a tomb you lay .
But Gods trump card has rolled this stone away.
And where a grave of tears and spices sadly once met in death ,
A tomb stone rolled ,
He is not here ,
He has risen an Angel did say ,
Why look for the living amugst. the dead ?
Do you not know the name of the winner ?

Then one day a Farmer came and gave grave news to Amy ,
Her Father had died and by his side a bag of gold and a cross
sold for a penny .
The Gold was sold to build a Church where her Father lay.
And one Easter morn just before dawn she gave her life to thee.

Now underneath an old oak tree a crow lay slowly dying ,
and a Blackbird sung ,
a new days begun .

There you have  it Johonny said mummy now it's time for bed .

Yet in some leafy field of green where Henry Vlll might have
been a stag bellowed .

Avid
       Corvid
                  David
                           Covid

My arm hurts
I can't relax
Diabetes
Anxiety attacks

George W.
Destroyed Iraq
ACDC
Back in Black

       Night.

I look in the mirror
And it feels wrong
The person in there Isn't me
The person in there
Has messy Brown hair
And dark ringed eyes
And he looks like he's been
punched a few thousand times
His hair is too long
And the oversized shirt
Hangs of the overweight body
More than it should
The weight never bothered him
And it never will
That's not what he's teased for
Or bullied for at all
The band teeshirts rarely surface anymore
Even though they were his favourite before
The cut off shorts stay folded in a draw
Because they show to many scars
That would rather be ignored
And the boots haven't been
out the wardrobe in months
The person looking back
Should be happy and carefree
Wearing an ACDC shirt
And torn up jeans
with Scuffed up docs
And a flannel flung
carelessly over a shoulder
The messy hair shaved short at the sides
And smiling eyes
That aren't sunken like that guys
He shouldn't look sleep deprived
Or upset
I wish I could backpeddle
a couple of months
To when I was happy and loud
And my friends thought I was high
All the time
Disclamer I've never been high
But I was pretty much hyper
Every day of my life
Now there's no energy left to spare
Except for breathing and sleeping
And writing whatever **** this is.

Friedrich Nietzsche in Turin
The Italians call him The Saint
T-shirt in the Irish bar
A saint is what I ain't

We speak beside the pool
She is blonde and Polish
Her husband plays soccer
Charlotte quietly

The Europeans are more civilized
But at risk from Mother Russia
I'd like to take 12 trains
2033

Don't listen to Bach
Never play Chopin
ACDC a rockin' band
In Dublin meant to be?

         Vive Amelie!

what a difference a shift can make:
i come in and out of positions:
sometimes i'm outside on the bag cordons
my favorite spot is
Charlie Cordon 6 for the concerts
last Wednesday i was just there
having a fabulous time

but today my sign in was 3 hours later
i came 20 minutes early
upon exiting Wembley Park Station
a flash of lightning my god's smile
my father's and my son's and daughter's
and i was sort of weirded out
by a missed call from mother
and Lyndon: my agency manager
for the shift...
which came later much later
but i put my phone of aeroplane mode
so only switched back reception
on the train:

jeez! misread the Elizabeth timetable
after 23:48 there is no Shenfield
to Paddington (no bear either,
Lizzie with the marmalade toast: untoasted)
that smile of lightning
and a THUNDERCLAP like the gurgling
of a goat killed proper Halal bruv...
or the hunger in the stomach
of a monster and a child...

i whispered in my mind: one name: though...
Thor:
the mood didn't suit the almighty
Arab and later Bangladeshi or Hebrew
later St. Paul and the German Protestant...

the difference between:
working in a team...
four Englishmen one ******...
the Pollack being their supervisor:
playing all James Bond
my ext number at university
dorms was 007:
            but it felt very edgy:
i was white (still am)
and i was supervising four Englishmen:
as a Pollack that must sound
weird coming to someone like
Rishi Sunak the vegetarian prime minister
it must be weird
sounds almost unnatural
but that was one shift prior: i got it:
break-up stab in the back
going all crazy with the pheromones:
and silent moans
and kiddy candy of the eyes
on the borderline with 17
no sweet 16 no let's not go that far
but imagine my fright:
wolf pack:
who?
wolf pack wolf pack...
one ginger one german in disguise
bartablondine with a crop full of hair
and enough beard
because there was a migration of hair
not from the head
but from the beard
toward the Chest of a Hairy Pirate
the stomach no six max Greek sculptures
hairy like a bear's...

fair enough so many lovely ladies
but i sometimes smoke too much
and not microdose like after today
and i get all transparently transcendental
and sometimes paranoid
but like today i micro-dose
and drink enough to keep me away
and i told myself:
you began tripping again
when you smoked half a proper joint
and drank whiskey without Pepsi:
those carbonated drinks:
no sugar...
no good: especially when mixed with alcohol
best to keep alcohol pure
and steering away from beer and wine
but if wine
then white wine and that's on special occassion
mixing it with marijuana
but best mixing a little whiskey: pure:
best Welsh...        PENDERYN...

     Welsh is the whiskey for me:
not Irish or Scotch:
discounted by over £10 quid at Asda...
from well over £30
to £23... 70cl...
    
             i just feel sorry for myself for not cramming
the entire day in but i can't
be James Joyce and account for the constiption
of but one day
and no one really manages to think so much
in one day
i certainly don't: so i look pocket and of pinpoint
days
and accounts of the hours of that day:
for a day i account for hours
and their smaller minions
when it comes to years
i account for days:
and their larger minions of weeks and months...

i was smarter today
because i was working with a young Bangladeshi
******: openly ******:
a Nigerian: aristocracy: by the sound of it:
and face:
the black girls of former slave owners
must have called
and said their mixed race counterparts
were nothing but **** boys...
and white girls' slaves...

a perfect journey home:
finalized by catching the 00:35 last 103
to Chase Cross home...
and i finished shift at 11pm and coming
down from level 5 at Wembley
is just as hard as exiting from Turnstile G
where staff sign in and sign out
and there were stories
i heard about someone walking in with proper
planning and accreditation
**** like that
just plain old bonkers:

               and Zain the introvert:
i didn't know whether he was the Bangladeshi's
rage whether Indian or not
so i allowed the whole:
and i thought only white people were
racist but
this is racism like Germans were ethnocentric
but not racist:
like the "racism" of the Germans and the Russians
who tried to dictate to the Pollacks
ethnocentrism: a white within white...
but look at me having to be
driven by an English ethnocentrism
that's placed face to face with competing
with the world
having invited the world over after having
traveled the god's blue and settled for
smash my garden up my garden my *******
garden
i love how only one empire imploded
but then exploded back into the fore
of the commonwealth:
and that's not Poland-Lithuania had:
didn't go ahead to charge an Empire
but instead settled on the Commonwealth:
and maybe there's a 3rd stage
while all the immigration fiasco settles
and England, Scotland, Wales: maybe:
certainly Ireland
settle for the Commonwealth of themselves
and from the radio on the news
i heard the vast and drastic and incoherent
term:
DEVOLVED NATIONS...
devolved...
i actually need to look that word up...

           no! no devolved governments!
equal representation of the tongues
or rather the reignited of the Scotch Gaelic!
pretty come please come
speak to me:
like that one black girl i thought was
oh so pretty with St Matthew going all the way
to Ethiopia looking for love...
not rubbing:
but comfortably touching my belly
closing my eyes closing hers
and i tingled at the thought:
but there's a loved woman in your life
and you love her so:
and i want to find that sort of love for me
and i want to find that same sort of love
for me...

to think: this day has not yet been
as perfectly executed to memory imprinted
with self-evident lettering to
my standard of digestion of dream:
before a digestion happens:
there must be a conjuring... of them...
i never understood people who have
recurrent dreams:
unlucky maybe sunshine maybe moon-too:

I'M ON THE HIGHWAY TO HELL
I'M ON THE HIGHWAY TO HELL
I'M ON THE HIGHWAY TO HELL...

i was there: pretending to be a bowl steward
like my origins in this industry:
i just remember that i managed
to sneak in one SIA without licensing
and when the Quality Assurance Officer
came up to me and
i addressed her as a Quality Assurance... blah
blah:
there was quick-chess going on
in the realm of ants and hierarchy
and i did mention
to my fox hunt: wolf pack vs. fox hunt...
because foxes don't hunt
so a fox hunt is... 5 foxes...
    being hunted... coming together:
to figure out an escape plan...

   adoptive Darwinism: fox hunting is a *****
sport...
i just delved into the FOX HUNT
vs. the WOLF PACK

   5 foxes: being hunted: started to huddle:
figure out us: we have glamour: and ice...
entice:
what we'll do we'll speak smoothly
smoothing and smiling...

           i'll do the talking: you do the muscle
pretend in between:
jeez one text i didn't want this one guy
to have a bad experience of gigging
i ended up taking the most vulnerable
down the elevator through to the side of
turnstile G...

          i feel like a rock star
                 i feel like a rock star...
i feel like a rock star:
because i have the world and its troubles
like the dirt from unwashed hands
and overgrown fingernails
and a smooch in my head from: her-hier...

but as a team we remained tight
no other response team from level 5 managed
to walk out through any turnstile
we were the owners
i felt English too and i didn't give a ****
i swear turnstile A was solid
without a queue
gone in 10 minutes
and the girls were flirted with
that i couldn't with a Bangladeshi or a Nigerian
but this was ACDC
and this was more politics
than teenage crush dream...

       candy crush saga of lady labyrinth
of Jane Austen:
that... exfoliation of language of class:
in Bridgeton and elsewhere
oh baby but
i'm somewhere in between
that class of tongue
and thesaurus and peacocking
and just talking ***** and reality
of the Cart and Horses in STR (greater anglia
acronym, station name).

i sat down at the end of the day
having spent it
tending to my garden:

so much emotion is in my stomach
i doubt that i even have
a heart

3.5 grams of marijuana can last
me about a month
and i'm wondering: where was i in my 20s
when i smoked so little
i hear
heavy smokers obliterated
by the discovery of the Stretch of Time
time non-linear not
history
i better: sink feel this:
send those emotions to my *****
my genitals:
kneel and speak with my ***: relax
my ***:

then i think sometimes
i imagine speaking through my ****
rather than my mouth
when i think i sometimes
imagine speaking through my ****
rather than my mouth
because i'm no politician rhetorician
and i'm getting the blues
afraid of myself:
why am i so stone so Sisyphus
why am i so nervy ******
playing an IDLE GAME

games were so different back in the day
of Mario Bros
now there are IDLE games...
you get fed adverts
your pocket sized DEEP BLUE
overheats
and then you have to start hacking
the phone
because there is apparently moisture
in the charging socket
but there isn't

because when you hit ON button
i smoked half a joint
tonight
and i want to write
so i also drank a whiskey...
or two...
no... best keep this Election Night
giggles under shades
i know who's going to win
when in Europe there is the Right
while in England it's: Conservatism
but random people
talked to me on the train about politics
and i was coming home
tired

but beside that: just reading habits:
who can spaghetti monster
and the custard clot Yellow King
of Hapsburg and Lovecraft
an Austrian monstrosity hanging
over the German people

bad habits: like really bad habits:
i have too much on my mind
that even summoning an *** for a mouth
will not do:
now i have three mouths in my head:
bleak Corinthian dynamic
oh jeez:
jazz? maybe:

                                Zukofsky's A
and when i heard that voice
bro: i was over-tell: myself that the silence:
oh those wind chimes bother
me why did we invent them
when not living on islands for most of the time
the voice bothered me
i'll finish the joint when i'll head
to bed:

the best anything is 1/3 bourbon and 2/3
whiskey
i created a mutant spirit: at 40% loading...

i'm scared of myself for not being a worldly man:
an ambitious man
a politician:

democracy is:
when in its infancy as an idea of governing people
by people
why so many loops and snakes and ladders?
i'm not an ambitious man
i have no world demands
although i'm sitting on wealth
and with that comes:
pips of cherries and trees in winter...
and *******: plenty of *******:

while Wimbledon is on
and the Euros
and the elections across Europe
and now England:
how many prime ministers?
elections are called in times of crisis
i saw Cameron, May, Sunak, Liz Trolley...
i saw Blair, Brown and... who?
ambitious men:
i am afraid of myself:
not being an ambitious man:

less but more Harold Norse contemplating
not being a male-man
(ha ha, politico automachine
spell edit, introductory
alliance with "woke" terminology:
old ****: geezer, gas baboon)
because not prone to violence
or appreciative of sports notably football
just mad about poetry

but mirage mirage:
what a combination on ***
and the trans train: of alphabets:

     LINDA DE SOUSA
    with / & WADE WILSON:

scary to think there are even people
there:
on the "other side" of tax collectors
and i've been with ******
and there are people there:

we're so dynamic in our dualism beside
the mind
that there are parallel lives being led
with parallel fates being fed
in the simplest of languages: by one: in one:

i had to escape: become schizophrenic-schizoid:
how?

i'm bilingual so...
backup banning floppy disks in Japan
(if you read the newspapers:
you'll know)
the 3"15            was that the t.n.t. detonative
ascribing ref.?

           i need to write in English but listen
to music in German:
notably folk: folklore bands
Faun: federkleid:

i just need to because otherwise
i can't stomach
the life of the one tongue
and this rabbit rabid ethnicity
based upon
nothing but the tongue:
or two:

now the flood
of memories: subtle:
when i laughed at my mother speaking
English over the telephone:
i was a terrible brat
but today i am old
and older and at least
she's not a language confrontation
of lackey: suite...

the bible and the quran can exist
and... whatever:
but i want to write a contender:
antitoxin...
or toxin:

ah the ambition awakes and i'm delusional
again with my lover...
tub tub... tub tub:
three little finger flickers
then her tasting herself
after i finger her and put my fingers
into her mouth...

but Heidegger became real:
schematics
of external security:
at Wembley: someone was flying
a renegade drone over the south
of the architecture:

FOOTPRINT? my ***...
charlie 1: olympic steps
charlies 2: oh jeez... never heard of
positions 2, 3, 4...
charlies 5: Atlantic Way
Charlies 6: north east staircase
Charlies 7: south east staircase
charlie 8: south east ramp
charlie 9 and charlies 10: gate 3
(with quadrant Romeo)
usually Frenchie: endearing?

charlie 11: zig-zag alley
charlie 12: Spanish steps:

da-sein: concern:

Om om: the Mongol? began winking at me:
did i look panicked?
pan-caked:
i thought i was going to enjoy
ACDC
when they came on: i did:

apparently i was working outside
and i heard the better acoustics
and i almost played my guitar the last
time i was bringing
salt and sugar and toilet paper from
the attics:
i once upon a time wanted
but was not fated with either guitar
or chemistry as supplier
of bogus narcotics and to alleviate
the softness of this world
while the primitive aspects were
concerned: of no concern...

                 but i didn't: one handshake
i wonder what that is in Katakana:
handshake...
ooh! no Cambridge Dictionary hyphen
assertion:
it only took Charlie 6 not note to
CONTROL:
medical emergency:
possible concussion
head split open
falling over traffic barriers
metal to calcium
infestation with iron: this calcium

what? call an ambulance?
am i the ******* patron Saint of the Hospitaller
or something?
the Wembley footprint?
judge of what? character?
the guy is bleeding like a monk:
tonsure...
the natural bird-line of his nesting hair:
call an ambulance?!

two quadrants showed up
*******:
three charlie call signs
then the External Manager:
LIMA ECHO...
how the **** was i supposed
to call an ambulance:
hell's bells was playing
in the background:
sure, i was at the ac/dc gig:
got two t-shirts:
for me and my father
but i was working:
getting paid for X
but not getting paid for
reinvigorating the reinterpretation
of Heidegger's Dasein...

not the ambitious man:
i "forgot" to text my availability to Lyndon:
***** Scouser: yar...
and i forgot to text back my lover
and that's just that:
if poetry:
well democracy works when you
have individuals like Damocles
and the swords of Saddam Hussein:

work... but when you have
democracy contra democracy:
people are not infringing on your way
in living:
today i was visited by a Conservative
minion campaigner
and there my ambition stumbled
and i became this
devilish little man
of little things
and that was just fine:
since god is not c.c.t.v.

              demonic in flavor or anything
more than the 1
in the eternal decimal pointer:
UNDIVISIBLE:
UNDIVISABLE:

   1
       not: rather: 0.111111111111111...

1/9:             there are NINE: nein?
NINE HORSES OF THE APOCALYPSE:
five are missing:

             boredom!
                  madness!
          technology!

i found at least 3: got kicked in the head
by a white horse in the moonlight: almost...

            PEACE!             that's four: the horse
of peace: peace is like a war:

         conquest?         contra the mortal quest?
from the Vatican:
what 7 deadly sins?
  how about the 8 realistic horses?

conquest i will do like the synoptic
readers did unto
the apocryphal readers:
i will: turn: the other cheek..

   you savvy: drop drool and lip
blossom: no? maybe spring in New York
and in central park...

the horses are running:
War Rower
             Peace Pacifier
  Famine Fetishes of Fat
Death the Central (Power)
Boredom and Brew Dogs

how many horses? i need a chariot:
no carriage: just two archers...
5...                      3 more?
borrowed from the classical
sense of geometry
Greco:HYMAN:HYMN
ITALICS:WOMEN:He:did':brew:'t

          HALF-DEATH: horses of dementia:
needle? thread: extension of grass?
so much *** of glitter... no?

      horse of TECHNOLOGY:
the Solipsist: the St. Augustine
with his Soliloquy: once: Soliloquies
like the injustices performed
upon Sisyphus by the gods:
while... the Titans were helpers:

Prometheus: and the un-ambitious man...
like: moi...

              have i covered more: not expected?
just the barrage of typo
and type: dot dot dot
while i watch a book burn unlike
a cross in the Chatter
Club Capitalism: wavering:
unsure where is Left Copernican
and Right Copernican:
north and summer
south and autumn
winter and east
and spring west:

                not sure: feel: disorientated...
slightly...
     almost got kicked in the head by a horse
but i was stupid enough to walk
in the woods
while angry at the blinding darkness
i had no ego for light-bulb
but instead overheard:
i will not be a **** enthusiast
i heard SATAN I N EXCELSIS...

                i must be a good enemy of man
if i am also the best friend of man:
however many times:
i try not to be one.
perhaps that's how it came to be:
to thus become:
learning how to pet animals:
minimizing talking to pets
like minimizing talking to lovers
during ***...
i make fun of my cats
automating onto onomatopoeia(s)
while they pretend to want to talk...

oh but i know animals can
talk the talk of humans:
i overheard my cat Oscar Darshan
tell me outright:
(ty) JABEŁ...

                i don't need to raise
children: people disbelieved me
i went to psychiatrists
*******
and your white powder SODA brain
freeze: powder! ambitious
sexed up men of grey: and suits!

          women can have children
and hear them speak all they want
but life for man?
when he hears a petted animal speak?
sorry:
aversions to your **** and
providing bus drivers and doctors:
i have mystique:
and my testosterone:

wasn't the fox at the Greenwich:
yeah: the hustler:
enough proof?
doubting Thomas you too?! not so much
a Peter?! Edie?

no broken thread:
just telegram telepathic:
short:

don't keep looking
for the bogus
of self-belief:
the motto: of:
just believe in yourself
*******:

such a timid death
of god
no god no self
read about the Devil:
only two philosophers
danced with
him:

Spinoza and Kant:
and i adore these two men
like Hamlet
or is that Vader: Darth:
or is that: no:
no Macbeth...

find your: self-worth!
man!
find your: self-worth!

  forget about self-belief!
forget about self-belief!
don't believe in yourself:
no cogito ergo sum phantom
rolling inside your brain
thinking yourself
more than rock
sea god and mountain:

but reflect upon the face of you
in Poseidon:
the ancients might have believed
Titans ruled
like Autocrats
and...

              Quality: of one
rather than one: as a quantity of indefiniteness
pleasure: no pleasure
she became involved in my life
yet my life is still somehow public
but as i microdosaged
and was asked sober to exchange
money

and spent the weekend with father
and you talked about moving
Martin nearer to the sea
to Danzig by the Sea not Clackton
or Clacton:

                     i'm going to an AcDc
gig while she was having spaghetti
monsters of conversations
by a bonfire
a date night
longing out I know
Reyla wanted us to have a date night:
i need to pay my cats for
baby-sitting: i really do...

confusion creates enlightenment:
funny how:
i can't see a traffic cordon
in the fog
enlightened by concusion
and hitting a tonsure of blood on my head:
perhaps i need
to get out of this gig economy
people are not seeing human to human
interaction

QUALITY:
half a joint
and half a 70cl bottle of Welsh whiskey
talking about sport

that England vs Switzerland match
but then that
Netherlands match vs Turkey
and i'm about to talk Olympics:
tis the season to by ****** holy
and Japanese pederasty
like so got me involved...

kettle?
pan?
kettle-pan
cups-ahoy: one is for a lesbian: i'm sure:
let's get technical:

i was actually looking up the Architect
of the Third *****:
Third ***** history is so rich
in its mythology and genocide that
it's a fetish
that i only acquired having acquired
the English language first...

**** Architecture is still ALIVE...
just think of the hands that did
the work of laying brick on brick
and you can still see ghosts
like jazz hands applauding
those still living...
of those who constructed Wembley
to now those who work in Wembley:

what a disparity:
CONSTRUCTION ARMY > WARFARE ARMY
you only realize that
when working in the security industry:
the military personnel became demoted
while the construction army
became promoted to the status of ACTOR
poet...
SUPERVISOR...

today my father said that supervisor
in the construction industry:
but a supervisor in the security industry:
i demoted myself
wanted go back to the roots:
unhinge myself from the shackles
of a profession: no career
a job is money...

    if i were a rich man... phantom of the opera
and fiddler on the roof:
somehow mashed up mashed up mashed up mashed up!

of this world i only ask of three
things:
not the father the son and holy ghost:
as man to man and then
translating to woman:
tortured by a blockjob
kept this one ***** chick dear mummy
got a new fairstyle
and for all the Gardens of King Solomon
just my me and David and the Lute
and Swan Song: Monogamy of the ****
*** ***... donkey cure of carrots..

just seeing these ex military men
work in the security industry alongisde
ex construction men
and how there's work in work
there's absolutely work in work
i'm doing overtime
playing actor psychologist pingpong...

three things:

A GOOD WOMAN: WHOLESOME
               AGRARIAN:
                   PARADOXICAL:
        DOGMATIC:
                 (looking: looking: for
a word: working agrarian:
hubris: hunting blues...
                       tip to tongue
tip to tongue... RUSTIC!)
SOME GOOD WHISKEY
A SHERBET *****
& good music
that's the 4th goldfish:
for you to hide like
a dragon
and that's the 1st wish of my 3
and that's 4...

                  as a fan of football
of sport
how is England supposed to compete
with the national furor of
both Netherlands where interrogation
integration worked:
where Turkey there's integration
of *** apparent Turks looking more like
Europeans rather than Middle Easterners
and that's because i count the shift of Rome
and no longer the Ottoman claimant
of Byzantium:

best reading encyclopedia history
when watching a football match:
best thing to do!
best: thing! to: do!

Almost became a monk
But had an anxiety attack
Nixon destroyed Cambodia
George W. destroyed Iraq

ACDC
Highway to Hell, Back in Black
My Sharona
Get the Knack

god asked me twice through Paul: i replied twice, even thrice: god was confused: he harmed me through his ill timings: and goings: i was asked so much so that i sooner than later realised god was a juggernaut of confusion of the intellect in chaos and that there was only intellect in order and therefore there was and never will be a god that might raise the dead from the cold night of death and ice: such a grey tinge to the afternoon: safety mechanism in place: me playing psychology games in a setting that doesn't allow me to rest: is there something i want to talk about? didn't you see it?! are you an artist and both are blind?! unless you read books like comics... because you don't want to explore some sort of arithmetic standard that's non-linear: su doku non-linear of understanding: reading chemistry and also Japanese KATAKANA... last of the Mochicans: because: Alex... you are... i'll try to defean the blow: Poland waited so long to be staged in Europe: this revived and recurrected Antichrist of a Nietzschean parody...

and why can't horror happen at midday
and all this association with night
and terror
and chaos
but this one time
look at the order of the constellations:
the ancients knew of the calmness
of the night
where spirits dwelled and animals
were a part of us:

how sudden no nothing...
i'm just thinking:
would it be possible
to churn and get out pure gold of words
from something from the 1960s...
maybe and yes it wasn't the celebrating
Europe Euphoria
of the beat
and the American beatnik poetry and late
arrival free flowing:
2nd Jazz...
the 1st Jazz of the 1920s
something that Boss the Jailor

before i forget:
the strict rigid constructs of the 19th century
man tested in the 20th...
now comes the revival of a slav and slave
struggle: to gain spirit from the element
that is Strife
that her twin brother Strive called us for!

the doors
and the end:
nothing the beatles can do but ****...
but pigeons don't ****
instead ****+**** together...
isntallation in the Liberty Gallery
of shops
in Romford:
giant birds
ostriches... halfway house of how
dinosaurs devolved into birds
and then who was the proud
algorithm and the A.I.:
be nice to AI? weird concept:
ask it what it is in relation to what
you already accepted...
as useful:
find the use of and AI ad hoc...
the algorithms are already
ah hoc encyclopedic "hangover" =
dictionary-not-actually-is...
then the algorithm is a thesaurus... sort of...
google is a book
imagine the dictionary not being part
of the internet but a sacredness
beyond any measure of a bible or the Quran...
the Dictionary is the Word of God
and of Man...

the ancient gallery: the killer took a face from
the ancient gallery...
took a face: i'm taking the youthful face
of my oTHER grandma...

my father's feelings of abandonment have
created this monster!
me!
and why is it all psychology theory
these trenches of the secular
war
of thought
against will...
trans-blah-blah...
deconstructionist post-modernist blah blah...
ditto head legacy media
hypocrisy words...
i see the face now the one face missing
in my life the god of headaches
and most sacred feminine taboos of god
and nature and woman
with the abstract YX in the YHWH of the abstraction
of wheel: fortune: luck: story...
who will be this creature, this historian,
this poet this philosopher: a man!
yes: me and woman can coexist and say:
it's nature...
but i will need an ehyeh asher ehweh of an ego
and from my ego i will create man:
but by retaliation to the suffering:
man will first reply back
and thus have to create the Satanic Bureucrat... Satan:
not my adversary: my postman...

the Heresy of: God created man
prior to creating the Angels:
angels are the second children of god!
angels are the second children of god!
we are the first children:
the first: the ones that thirst and hunger!
and sweat:
and only that one said to the other children:
let's play a prank on these creatures...
and no longer God rested in his House of the Sabbath...
then came the dissection of time:
Satan's rebellion came first: and not out of pride:
Man retained the stature of Lucifer:
but Satan became a rogue entity
if we need to stress the glue of solipsism that
binds children:
sorry: i haven't been to a social gathering
and i only put on the ACDC t-shirt
because it was faded grey
and i was thinking: shorts? yeah... but for shorts
i need loafers... ****... black...
black black...
need to wear Martin's thinking Cap...
my working cap...

then i'll also have to get a pair of anti-sun specs
because that left eye of my is bloodshot:
Deadpool *** Bloodshot...
i so so want to watch that movie
with a teenage boy: or girl...
and just talk ******* all night long...
but then my testosterone is up there
to think about other children
and this one Hungarian proved an IQ problem
when it comes to people
talking rather than playing:
by talking also playing in a metaphysics...

Iaian... like those scars inflicted by the mud people
of Game of Thrones:
i already knew he was: missed the part he was
Scottish... i was also Scottish...
so we were probably least understood...
this better be the sort of canvas
a Gaugin made taxi-drivers like with them
waiting and just have money
as a frivolity and share it with people
to have that access to the money dynamic:
because those ******* CEOs don't have
the compassion to have so much money
they do not thirst for life
they only thirst for accomulative constructs
of depression...
among the angels they are children
from which children feed from:
tell me when does the science of angels exist
if not now?
parents only receive a child when the first
word is spoken: syllable is ABORTION TEE!
this is where we play golf:
i'm moving the concept of abortion...
up to: infanticide and the oracle of Mammon
that resides in me...
until the first word is spoken:
you can **** it prior to that:
even if it born...
it is in the hands of the monotheistic angels
who curate its advancement... focusing on the senses...
outside the womb
angels take over until the child matures to
grasp a parallel between consciousness and memory:
there is no Islamic question...
Islam is defunct: i don't need it...
perhaps the aesthetic aspect of it...
but that's about it...
some Surahs sung... mosaics:
magic carpet rides reserved for barber Turks....
if abortion is the cut off:
i will tell you, god...
there's another cut off point:
here's my good friend Mammon and Moloch...
infanticide will stand before
a word is spoken...
the archangels fallen are the elders of other angels
and seeing how you care not see
good and evil: Allah with two eyes sees both
and maybe confused:
but the old god with the pantheon of Prometheus
before angels there were sibyls
and women were oracles and that was
the correct sway:
oracles instead of witches:
what happened to woman: o god...
o little O big... owl of ohs and clues to eternal sighs...
the old god does not differentiate
good from evil
but if Allah is to be the contender...
my manager called me up while i was on the bus
this hungry country doctor from Poland
****** me off: i need my paycheck for the poetry
i write... i'm Employment and Support Allowance...
am i contentious:
oh wow! women are more contentious?
contious: content...

-t-ious... so most content therefore ******* itchy?
so my manager calls me up:
no fixed static positions:
only ad hoc on the day
inside London:
but could you also do pitch-side quad supervising:
you'd have about 30 people under you:
pitch-side... for the boxing:
Joshua v(s) Duboi 21st Septmeber 2024 Wembley:
the losers fight:
from a fan of boxing on t.v.:
i'm more of a fan of boxing in real life...
i can't translate boxing into t.v.
i might as well translate drinking:
an hour film of a person drinking *****
in a van gogh setting
and depending on the drunk: what next:
will he write poetry?!
wow! he will?!             let's see! let's see!

soma hallucinations!

sleep alternatives of consciousness
this dynamic secular trinity of
the atomized man...
rudely woken up at 4:30am
by a maine **** like a bloodhound
by a maine **** like a blue moon bloodhound:
steak all bleu...
deepest red touching on blue
beyond Claret
the new colours of Millwall:
the Scots...
that's my team!
i'm a Millwall fan!
i looked at West Ham's Claret
and blue
and i thought:
deeper red: into blue but not purple
more brown... red ***** brown blue...
Millwall...
i thought: maybe Fulham...
but the FFC is a **** logo no birds
interested and let me tell you
if i had the money
we would be called
the B.P.P.F.C...
  Bishops' Park Parakeets Football Club...

but it was basic monster psychology lessons:
let children play
let the adults talk:
opinions are not beliefs:
there is no dialectic concerning beliefs...
that's why you have unshakeable foundations
within the confines of religion...
philosophies are individuals
and individuals are easily staged to waver
wean
when and how: doesn't matter: they die...

apparently Allah is two eyed:
or rather: twin eyed:
confused...
a god must be one eyed:
that is how Odin foretold:
the coming of Yahweh into Europe...
the North:
he sent his son Thor to meet Jesus
and a battle was waged:
no true actors on the European side:
even i pervert this struggle
as Thor against Jesus
and my father is one eyed like Yahweh
is Cyclops
and Allah is a retarted child
lost among angels
happily clapping happily getting along
with the other ****** children:
yes: your god is no god
just a special yellow bus and submarine.

lions and rats!
a Millwall emblem will be a Chimera!
lions and rats!
rats for the mane!
magpie for the tail
and a bull's torso and
instead of feet:
flippers: of a toad!
eyes of the insomniac serpent!
n'ah:
one yellow: one greeeeeeeen...
one eye of mine
the other of the Vatican of *****...
sweetest tribe of matriarchs and
single mothers:
the Horde of the Matriarchs
like Mongols and their broken daughters
with children to raise...
my god: what i should: plough?!
plough: evidently not seed:
there's this Ancient Roman tactic of rubbing yourself
buttnaked with nettles
then repenting ...
this Horde of the Matriarchs is so unearthed...
as a dynamic: a biology:

just take a step away from an Event Venue
and walk into a Shopping Mall:
perhaps work both
and i believe you and me:
if you have read the right sort of books
at the right state of time
in your development:
i still lust for the grief of lost love
in Ilona:
the passage from St Petersburg
to Moscow on the train:
B oby Dylan all the way through
maybe now with as girl
as daughter a swift passage dad choke
of a joke... never mind...
Alexander still reminding me that
i ought to be envied: even venerated...
chance of being the first to repel
a pharmacologically-psychotic nurse
who almost suffocated me...
gentle death: cut the ******...
much wider of the ****
then feed him milk and oats
and make him choke...
              
woman is but one small step for mankind:
as man said:
one small step for man:
one leap for mankind...
well... this is equivalent to landing
on the moon
and inventing vacuum cleaners
and shops
open and provide: must there be a revision
of a do and a be?
be present: rather than doing the presence of
your becoming...
but that is: what preserves me
but will never preserve others...
you cannot tell me: don't write: don't think...

what is this supposed freedom of speech?
whatever the **** happened to:
THINKING ALOUD?!
freedom of speech vs: thinking aloud...
ha ha!
ha ha ha!
Lamberto! ha ha!
i'm thinking aloud: **** your protest marches
jibber-washy!

Alexander hushed down
about the English girls as third wives
and all these other women
in Muslim attire being like
Mantises...
and sadists...
and the air was open
and a house was filled with it...
the Ilford and Seven Kings and Goodmayes
stretctch of the country...
not the other rioters...
not the children:
the women more than willing to be *** slaves...
mate...
the most resilient women
the most imitation Mary imitation Khadijjah ....
Edie: are prostitutes with a healthy mindset
of rules: abstractions: realisms...
prostitutes are the mothers of order
when something becomes awry in the spirit of woman:
who will you ask?
a priest, a poet, a psychiatrist... or a *******?!
tell me!!!!! tell me!!!!         i roar and i ask: tell me!!!!!
if you want to be that woman!
tell me!
i will honor you for doing the Sybil's offering!
do it!
do it! but tell me you will do it!
and become a wise woman!
from Sibyl to Witch to *******!
show me! show me the transformation!
the evolution of woman!
let me get quiet close a personal
and get to understand the soul of the creature:
before the gymanstics of geology,
history, physics: the zodiac: ever care to allure
to allude to us, dearest:
maybe it's not simply love:
beside:
good *** and even better conversation:
or maybe that's what love-*** is.

Saw Thich Nhat Hanh in Berkeley
He walked from a minivan
The Joker is her ex-boyfriend
Says he doesn't have a plan

I am also an ex-boyfriend
My wife is from Thailand
Sophia slips away
ACDC a rockin' band

Have not been to Australia
But I do like Stayin' Alive
Some say exomoons
Say say failure to thrive

Life doesn't really make sense
The beauty of her hair!
Coach Brian Katz
Sacramento stare

              Aliens? Where?

I'm all fear and nervousness
So difficult to relax
I accidentally hit a tree
Anxiety attacks

My life is pain on pain
George W. destroyed Iraq
DC Metro train
ACDC back in black

The suspicious chaos
Of her vindictive mind
Nature
Relentless attack

Tulips in the front yard
DC metro
Business attire
**** and black

Seeking without finding
The Mosque of Colors
ACDC
Back in Black

I want to see her
I wish she'd knock
I wish she'd ...
Front and Back

          Loveshack

I like the Inner Harbor
I just walk around
Everybody knows
I am the newsboy of this town

America began in genocide
Slave labor too
I see all the animals
At the Pondicherry Zoo

3 prayers for Chicago
Or should I say Chiraq?
I like ACDC
I like Back in Black

Fatherhood is joy
Thank you, Life, o yes
Will I die in pain?
Anybody's guess

        Break the press.

I try, I try to relax
When anxiety attacks
Nixon destroyed Cambodia
George W. destroyed Iraq

I miss my uncle Jack
Get a midnight snack
ACDC
Back in Black

Talked to my son today
Gracias xie xie
Keep him right on track
Video games to play

Mother Mary May
Basketball hey hey
ACDC Back in Black
But silent is the Way

        No nay never nay

So many religious crazies
We need a little light
Maybe Istanbul
Cranberry juice with Sprite

Talking with my son
18 and working now
Please - happiness
Hopeful wedding vow

Maybe JMU
Keep him right on track
A little ACDC
A little Back in Black

               Thunderstruck!