In raw shadow I linger
And recall your corduroy voice
Smooth, open, and deep
You make my head throb with poetry
And I ache with delirious desire to dance
Beneath the moon and stars
To the music of the wind and rhythm of the sea.

Language is like a void
Yet concrete is porcelain skin
And chocolate dreams
I listen to shadows
Remembering how frantically the words melted
Sacrificing my tongue for your delicious smile.

Stranger to myself
I wander through the maze of my thoughts
Star gazing upon a distant labyrinthine spiral of past promises and torn trust
Dreams scattered and lost upon winter's wistful winds.
And do you realize you were the best part of my mind?
A light warming the inner crevices and cavities of old sorrows, sore and exhausted from chewing away the years.
A heart to hold onto when mine was crawling away in agony,
Bursting at its seams, it groaned
Too full of the world to be inside me.
You guided  me when my eyes turned inward to search for my wandering heart
It was in my stomach,
Pounding and wriggling, a mountain of worms eating my organs, swarming out my ears, too many to be contained.
Carried me when my legs complained that my heart was too heavy and went on strike,
They folded together quietly like the blanket at the end of my childhood bed.
Lended me your mouth when my body succumbed and refused to get up.
Kissed me until you blew my heart to smithereens,
Kissed me until the worms came out in admiration to watch our lips writhe and twist,
Kissed me till my heart jumped back together and clambered back into my chest,
Kissed me till my eyes returned, till I lifted my weary head and collapsed into your love for me.
Reminded me of the flowers last spring.
The wildflowers after our cold dark winter.
Stroked my hair gently and taught my legs to wrap around your hips again and again till we pounded away the past
And my heart rejoiced at being given a new perspective.
Reminded my hands how to caress your cheeks,  
My fingers were numb and frightened of hurting you
But they longed to catch hold of your smile and hold onto its warmth forever.
You knew me for what I was,
But I was a stranger to myself.
My body was searching for its parts, taking inventory of its functions.
And my mind was missing,
I lost it amidst a most busy crowd of no one.
I haven't found it since.
And do you know that you were the best part of my mind?

Stranger to myself
I wander through the maze of my thoughts
Star gazing upon a Milky Way of past promises and torn trust
Dreams scattered and lost upon winter's wistful winds.
And do you realize you are the best part of my mind?
A light warming the inner crevices and cavities of old sorrows, sore and exhausted from chewing away the years.
A heart to hold onto when mine is crawling away in agony,
Bursting at its seams, it groans
Too full of the world to be inside me.
Guide me when my eyes have turned inward to search for my wandering heart
It's in my stomach,
Pounding and wriggling, a mountain of worms eating my organs, swarming out my ears, too many to be contained.
Carry me when my legs complain that my heart is too heavy and go on strike,
They fold together quietly like the blanket at the end of my childhood bed.
Lend me your mouth when my body succumbs and refuses to get up.
Kiss me until you blow my heart to smithereens,
Kiss me until the worms come out in admiration to watch our lips writhe and twist,
Kiss me till my heart jumps back together and clambers back into my chest,
Kiss me till my eyes return, till I lift my weary head and collapse into your love for me.
Remind me of the flowers last spring.
The wildflowers after our cold dark winter.
Kiss my forehead and teach my legs to wrap around your hips again and again till we pound away the past
And my heart rejoices at being given a new perspective.
Remind my hands how to caress your cheeks,  
My fingers are numb and frightened of hurting you
But they long to catch hold of your smile and hold onto its warmth forever.
You know me for what I am,
But I am a stranger to myself.
My body is searching for its parts, taking inventory of its functions.
And my mind is missing,
I lost it amidst a most busy crowd of no one.
I haven't found it since.
And do you know that you were the best part of my mind?

And who am I apart from my wonder?
My sadness
My curiosity
My existential pondering?
Would I actually want that all to go away?
To live my life like this always or to have no idea of the feelings this way of life inspires; both options are depressing.
The depression is what gets to me
And is caused in part by both
I feel so little in such a grand universe, so pointless, conspicuous in my expiration date.
What's it like to die, I always wonder
I don't believe in heaven or God
I don't believe my consciousness will extend beyond.
I worry that every little thing is a sign that my life is becoming like sour milk.
And the idea of all of it gone is terrifying
Nothing to write about
Nothing to explore
For who am I apart from what defines me?
I am what I define myself as
And by that, I don't know who I am
The dictionary of me hasn't seen bookstores yet
Because the editor seems to be missing in action
All my calls for help have gone unanswered
She's probably somewhere beyond the reaches of cell service
Perhaps in a forest, climbing a mountain, or by the river
She needs that time to rejuvenate
And to create my story
I would say she's a designer of realities but I couldn't figure out what a reality was so I changed it.
I believe it's important to say what you know to be truthful
To follow the Maxims of Conversation
To compromise with yesterday in exchange for a better tomorrow.

You become my words,
When I became speechless.
You became my sunshine,
When I drowned in darkness.
You became my inspiration,
To wake up and live my dream.
You became my reason,
My pride, treasure and esteem.
You my darling, became my Kanna,
My strength, love and best friend.
You and I are now not two, but one,
Together, forever, beyond every end.