I remember it was cold.
I remember that it hurt.
I remember you didn't care.
I remember you never could.
I remember what you said.
Do you still remember me?

I remember it was warm.
I remember smiling.
I don't remember being happy.
I remember someone caring.
I remember not believing them.
I remember how they wouldn't talk to me sometimes.
Did it really happen?

I remember wind.
I remember crying.
I remember you were there.
I remember you noticed me, and turned away.
I remember crumbling.
Did you notice that too?

I remember hiding.
I remember someone laughing.
I don't remember anything funny.
I remember falling.
I remember being scared.
Do you know why?

I don't remember the weather.
I don't remember her name.
I don't remember how your arms felt around me.
I don't remember feeling loved.
I don't remember your favorite color.
Have you forgotten me too?

I don't remember the season.
I don't remember your middle name.
I remember your favorite band.
I don't remember how your lips felt against mine.
I don' remember the beginning.
I remember the end, sort of like this.
This, is what I was scared of.

This blood stained steel
I hold so tight
It helps me feel
It makes me right
One two three and four
So many scars but I want more
I just can't stop
It's become too much
I cannot live
Without this rush
Scarlet drops fall on the floor
This urge is too strong to ignore
I just can't stop, it's scaring me
Hurting less the more I bleed
Sinking low and cutting deep
I begin my eternal sleep

The galaxies
You sewed under my skin
Had leaked stars into my blood
But now my heart is frozen
So there is ice in my veins
But every so often
You see a star that was frozen there
And one day the ice will thaw
And the stars will glow
And my eyes will shine
Like the sky at night
Not the reflection of light off tears,
The shining of happiness that
Only shows when a dead soul has
Been revived
And you're going to be sorry
That you missed this sight
And I will be thankful
Because without you
I wouldn't appreciate
The gift
Of a genuine smile

And one thing that i will never forget
Is how, when looked at properly
I observed the nebulas that were your eyes
And i was never particularly fond,
Of brown
But your eyes
The way you looked at me
Satisfied every chocolate craving i will ever dream of having
Since then
Brown has become
My favorite color
They always tell you
How blue eyes sparkle
They must have never seen
How yours turn to lighthouses
Strong enough to guide ships home
From miles away
When you share your hopes and dreams
But ******* if mine don't shine
When you tell me you dreamt of me
They never tell you
How dull blue eyes can be
They must have not have seen
The glazed over, almost dead, look
In my eyes
When you chose her
Over me
Maybe it's the tears
Brimming my eyes just seconds
Before spilling over
That they saw
And described the way the sunlight
Glistened on them
But I doubt that my eyes
Will ever sparkle again
Or light up
The way yours do
When you talk about her

It's been a little over two months now
And I think I can say this
And I'm not sure what's happening so let me tell you what I know
And what I think
After 2 hours, I knew I wanted to know you
After 2 days, I knew you were different
After 2 weeks, I knew I wanted you
After 2 months, I think I love you
Let me put into perspective
why I say "think"
I know that I want you and
I know you're favorite color is red and
I know you love God more than life and
I know sometimes I don't want to live and
I know that I'm alive anyway and
I know that's partially you're fault (thank you) and
I know the Earth is round and
I know the sky changes colors and
I know you love music and
I know you love basketball and
I know you get mad sometimes and
I know you're adorable and
I know you hate being adorable and
I know that you are anyway and
I know that some things float like wood and ***** and people and
I know that things heal and
I know that time is difficult to tell sometimes and
I know forever feels too short and too long and
I know that you hate my combat boots but I'm sorry and
I know that I'm too silly and I'm sorry and
I know I'm kind of crazy and I'm sorry and
I know not all dogs love hugs and
I know I love hugging dogs and
I know that I'm short and
I know that you like that and
I know you can't trust everyone and
I know that I trust you and
I know the sky is high and
I know people are strange and
I know you hate it when I drink and
I know you're better than you think and
I know you love Beastly and I know the world is huge and
I know I'm a very small part of said world and
I know I'm not alone and
I know I feel like it sometimes and
I know you help me a lot (thank you) and
I know you're more than I deserve and
I know people can't fly and
I know I want to anyway and
I know there are some things I can never do (like fly) and
I know this feeling will come and go and
I know that you will be great one day and
I know you already are and
I know life is short and
I know nothing lasts forever and
I know I want us to anyway and
I know that death is inevitable and
I know that it will hurt and
I know that it hurts anyway and
I know that life is strange and
I know I don't make sense and
I know you're with me anyway and
I know you say you love me (**** I hope you do) and
I know I **** at love poems and
I know I always hurt and
I know I always get hurt and
I know I am terrified to say this and
I know I am even more terrified to feel it and
I know that definitely
without a doubt
I think I love you

I'm getting kind of tired
So I think I'll go to sleep
I gets pretty lonely
Counting pills instead of sheep
And if you ever need me
You needn't make a peep
For I am here beside you
When monsters start to creep

I'm getting kind of cold
So I think I'll cover up
Oh don't mind those lines
They were only cuts
And if you ever worry
You needn't bring it up
Trust me, I see them
Just keep your lips sewn shut

I'm getting kind of hungry
But I will not eat
This feeling in my head
Another challenge, one more feat
And if you start to see
That I've begun to shrink
Please do not stop me
No matter what you think

I'm getting kind of scared
So I think I'm going to hide
A few memories and trinkets
Are all you'll ever find
And if you start to miss me
Just push me out of mind
For I'm not coming home soon
Though you treated me so kind

I'm getting kind of worse
But that's only what I think
The monsters and the demons
I see them when I blink
And if you ever wonder
If you had seen me sink
Remember all my smiles
Every crack and every *****

I'm getting kind of ****** up
So I think I'll go away
You don't really want me here
I see this every day
And if you ever think
There's something left to say
Write it in a letter
And burn it all away

I'm getting kind of lonely
So I think I'll wait for you
I may wait forever
But at least you see it's true
And if you ever think of me
Or want to start anew
I'll be holding on
Among the lonely few