the sky was below
your dangling feet.
offsides to a building
you stay seated.
boxes and more boxes;
geometrical shapes
in your field of vision.
hard straight lines,
unforgiving.
alone alone alone alone
alone alone alone alone.
if you look up,
maybe you can find the sea.
a twisted reality—
but who are you
to deny seeing.
because stuck in the
darkness of a blind
terrifies you more than
a box full of other boxes.
unforgiving.

purple clouds
like cotton candies
taste oddly heavy
similar to a kind
of disappointment
my mom once
spoke about.
three fingers in
deep between
pale lips
such contrast
that would have
been ironic
in its own epitome.
but now its
a little funny
tongue heavily
dipped in
confusion and anger
both at once
like chocolate sauce
slick and thick
and lips parted
almost screaming
in either pain
or pleasure
or pride.

i shut my eyes and:
if you came
back, sorry
between your lips;
leftover fingerprints
of pride's embrace
all around you.
but you left pride
a while ago,
nonetheless.
and maybe
that would be enough
for me, for us.
because i have been
waiting for you
to come home.
and it's the whispers
of my heart
to the shooting stars;
and for the residue
of what we gripped
inside our palms
to never turn into
'what should have been's,
and instead into
'what will be,'
'what waits,'
smiles of the near and distant
future.

and i closed my eyes:
maybe this one time
i wouldn't make it right
because we would make it past.
i thought.

i thought.

that would be enough;
but reality was
late to the meeting.
and when i handed
my heart to you
eons ago,
you didn't place
your faith into
my arms.
reality was
late to the meeting.
because when i waited
for you to come home,
you did not.
for you liked the past
more than the present;
and that's where home
locates to you.
for the shooting stars
was deaf to my cries.
and the residue of what we had
had already turned into
'should have been's and
'will never be's.

there will still be smiles
in the near and distant
future;
but it will not be my smile
next to yours,
nor my smile carved by you.

it's sunny outside
and i can hear voices of
children laughing with
no care of the world
and i wonder why
can't i bring myself
to do the same
to you

all these saturated colors
surrounding my room
yet a frown stays rested
on my lips
because yours aren't here
to kiss it away anymore
and maybe today i'm a little
under the weather

i keep my phone
three distances away
for fear i'll see
the curve of your smile
but carved by someone
else

i'm sure i have gotten
over you
there are no bitter
feelings nor regrets
i just wish you wouldn't
smile that much