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Alexis Jul 2018
Eyes wide open,
Body shaking.
Another day, another fix
To hold this pain in.
A smile on the outside
But inside I’m still broken.
I wake up each night
Breathless, choking.

Heartbreak, misery.
It’s the only thing familiar to me.
Rainbows and sunshine?
Sounds like another one of your lies.
Numbing the pain
With a pop of a pill.
Someone ask me how I’m doing,
I’m dying to spill.

Stuck in a hole
That I dig deeper and deeper.
I’m not gonna last
Someone call the Grim Reaper.
Loved ones calling
Throwing down rope,
But I keep falling
Down this slippery *****.

Just one more
And I’m ready to go.
I don’t know what reality is
I’m losing my soul.
I’m in love with the pain,
It hurts so good.
Should I take one more?
Maybe I should...
Alexis Jul 2018
Losing you was one of my biggest fears
What would I do without you?
You used to wipe away my tears.
You helped me when I was lost,
Guided me,  gave me direction.
You were the only one
That gave me love and affection.

It wasn’t your time
But I guess you were ready to go.
Now all that’s left of me
Is a broken heart with a giant hole.
No one can hear my tears
Behind closed doors.
As I sit and think about
Our time down by the shore.

You held me,
And loved me as your own.
Without you,
Silence lingers within my home.
The last time I saw your dying face,
All we did was cry.
You left me,
Without a single goodbye.

It’s been three months
And I miss you more than ever.
I still have this thought
That you’d be here forever,
That what I experienced was all a dream.
I guess I was wrong
And Heaven earned itself a Queen.
Te extranare Abuelita.
Alexis Jul 2018
Always out of place,
And looking for more.
I have many hopes and dreams,
Yet they never soar.
In need of a push,
Some motivation.
But all it ever does
Is turn into frustration.

Wake up with adrenaline,
But it never lasts.
All I ever think about
Is how I failed in the past.
I’m stuck in a rut
And can’t get out.
I feel like I can do it
But then my head fills with doubt.

I try and try again,
But I always fail.
Do I try again?
Or keep walking down this trail.
Everywhere I look,
I see success.
I keep going nowhere
Even though I try my best.

Tired of being comfortable
In the same place.
All of this talent and ideas
Going to waste.
It’s time to get to work,
These words I must embrace.
No more sitting on the sidelines,
It’s time to join the race.

— The End —