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Alexis Jul 2018
Always out of place,
And looking for more.
I have many hopes and dreams,
Yet they never soar.
In need of a push,
Some motivation.
But all it ever does
Is turn into frustration.

Wake up with adrenaline,
But it never lasts.
All I ever think about
Is how I failed in the past.
I’m stuck in a rut
And can’t get out.
I feel like I can do it
But then my head fills with doubt.

I try and try again,
But I always fail.
Do I try again?
Or keep walking down this trail.
Everywhere I look,
I see success.
I keep going nowhere
Even though I try my best.

Tired of being comfortable
In the same place.
All of this talent and ideas
Going to waste.
It’s time to get to work,
These words I must embrace.
No more sitting on the sidelines,
It’s time to join the race.
Alexis Jul 2018
Eyes wide open,
Body shaking.
Another day, another fix
To hold this pain in.
A smile on the outside
But inside I’m still broken.
I wake up each night
Breathless, choking.

Heartbreak, misery.
It’s the only thing familiar to me.
Rainbows and sunshine?
Sounds like another one of your lies.
Numbing the pain
With a pop of a pill.
Someone ask me how I’m doing,
I’m dying to spill.

Stuck in a hole
That I dig deeper and deeper.
I’m not gonna last
Someone call the Grim Reaper.
Loved ones calling
Throwing down rope,
But I keep falling
Down this slippery *****.

Just one more
And I’m ready to go.
I don’t know what reality is
I’m losing my soul.
I’m in love with the pain,
It hurts so good.
Should I take one more?
Maybe I should...
Alexis Jul 2018
Losing you was one of my biggest fears
What would I do without you?
You used to wipe away my tears.
You helped me when I was lost,
Guided me,  gave me direction.
You were the only one
That gave me love and affection.

It wasn’t your time
But I guess you were ready to go.
Now all that’s left of me
Is a broken heart with a giant hole.
No one can hear my tears
Behind closed doors.
As I sit and think about
Our time down by the shore.

You held me,
And loved me as your own.
Without you,
Silence lingers within my home.
The last time I saw your dying face,
All we did was cry.
You left me,
Without a single goodbye.

It’s been three months
And I miss you more than ever.
I still have this thought
That you’d be here forever,
That what I experienced was all a dream.
I guess I was wrong
And Heaven earned itself a Queen.
Te extranare Abuelita.

— The End —