I spent 83 days wondering why
1,992 hours crying
And 7,171,200 seconds dying a little more inside

I can't say I'm sorry for what happened before
I left because
I didn't matter to you anymore

Summer is a snake
Crossing the smoldering road
Stretched out like an
Exclamation of death!
This moment gone forever
Screaming out onto the horizon;
The old windswept mountains
Like broken waves, frozen
In the boat shaped mirror.
All is green, and all is forsaken
Driving down this path of light.

There were days
I remembered
To put my heart on my sleeve.

The other days
I hid it
So deep inside my body
I couldn’t find it for myself.

The terror of anyone finding
Me judging me
Seemed to linger in the air
I inhaled.

but I know
just as a cat flinches
when you move to pet it,
so do I.
we both no longer know the difference between
affection and attack.

Most days I can keep to the middle of the road

but some days I find myself lying in a ditch on my back

With my head spinning round and round
in a whirlpool of the past
Ugly

Don’t worry about me
Or what I will do
I told you

I will not stumble in front of your mother

Things are steady now

I will meet you there