It wouldn’t look good on my record
If baby pinched a finger,
He is rolling around in his walker
I shouldn’t allow my attention to linger,
On simple distractions
Like the mobile phone,
A watcher using the internet
Leaves their baby alone.

It would tarnish my reputation
If baby swallowed a penny,
I would be kicked to the curb in a minute flat
And the charges would be many,
So I better pay attention
When baby is under my care,
But I’ve got some games hidden up my sleeve
That would give his parents a scare.

Days go by and I'm not inspired
To do much of anything
Because I'm retired,
Still, I won't waste my time
Worrying about stuff like that,
There is always tomorrow
To ponder where I'm at.

Months go by
And little has changed,
The furniture
Was rearranged,
Giving me a sense of
Something new,
It was the easiest
Thing to do.

Years go by
I don't look in the mirror,
Inside I feel young
And my loved ones are dearer,
They encourage me to
Plan and travel,
But I think I'm afraid
That my life will unravel.

Corner the market
Corner the rat,
Corner the corner
If that’s where it’s at,
That’s how it is
And that’s how it stays,
Corner your lover
Till the end of all days

Retrospective, looking back
At prior times of heart attack:

Raging passions
Now have cooled,
Was it real
Was your heart fooled?

Don't listen to
The logic mind,
It doubts the thing
It can not find,
Embrace the feeling
And the touch,
Hold precious, love
And Love too much.

Catherine, my darling
I must tell you what I dreamed,
We were kissing at the doorway
When my Kundalini screamed,
The next thing I remember
We were lying on the floor,
With memories of experience
Of everything and more.

Having an answer
Is half the way there,
Finding a question
Can make it a pair.

The answer however
Must be fitting and right,
So the question in question
Has an answer in sight.

The glue that binds us together
Is commonly found in the worst of weather,
In small remote enclaves of hardy souls
Who band together to fill in the holes.

Emily, by far
Is the cutest vampire,
I'll ask for her hand
After I retire,
Her gentle attention
Doth drive me wild,
Although some folks whisper
She looks like a child.

From what I've read
Vampires don't age,
In today's society
That's all the rage,
A fountain of youth
Awaits at my door,
And if she'll give me a bite
We will be forever more.

Only every eight weeks
Can I donate whole blood,
Not like the old days
Nothing else, I'm a dud,
Not platelets and plasma
In one single session,
Thus, whole blood it is
My singular expression.

I'm worried you see
If I pick the wrong day,
Eight weeks from now
Blood Chick might be away,
Off on a boat trip
Or skiing at Vail,
She won't be here to comfort
Her least favorite male.

Stalkers and such
We get a bad rap,
I'm just donating blood
Like Corona on tap,
Not the best of all beers
But I might save a life,
And face it, I'm not looking for
A replacement wife.

But I would like my Nurse
To be you know who,
Emily of course
And not number two,
Because that one doesn't care
If she misses my vein,
No, she's an iron maiden
When it comes to giving pain.

Emily, my vampire
Is gentle with blood,
She smiles and giggles
And says I'm a stud,
Meanwhile I am drifting
Near death in a slumber,
And in my dream she told me
Her special phone number.

Emily:
She held my hand
And squeezed my finger,
Though poised with a lance
I wanted her to linger,
Because her look of concentration
Displayed her finest features,
Then she speared my finger
Oh my; what a creature.

Fair skin and beauty
I couldn't ask for more,
Oh yes, vampiric women
I surely adore,
And when that drop of blood came
There was a smile on her lips,
As I pondered the future
With the sway of her hips.

Sure, this is but a fantasy
Of my dusty imagination,
Securely embedded
In juvenile infatuation,
I'm the first to admit
I'm stuck at age fourteen,
Be that it may
She's the blood chick queen.

Emily
That woman, she took my blood,
When I swooned
I fell with a thud,
Awoke light-headed
Like a spinning jenny,
Not only my blood
But the blood of many.

Emily
Caught my eye at first,
Before I understood her thirst,
No, I won't argue
She was really cute,
I needed to see her....
I was resolute.

Emily
Looks so young, that kid,
When I came to donate
She had the highest bid,
And now I'm drained
I guess; good to the last drop,
Emily, I begged
Oh please, don't stop.

Emily
So caring, she held my hand,
After I swooned
I could no longer stand,
I was laid on the gurney
And they lowered my head,
I was too weak to grasp
To pull her onto my bed.

Emily
She stood to the side,
I caught a little smirk
Plus a wink and I sighed,
Knowing she tried to drain me
I guess I have a good taste,
She whispered in my ear:
"To the last drop; I mustn't waste".

Hello, Lady
You invited me, I think,
We crossed paths in the ether
And you made my eyes blink,
I turned around after passing
To get a second look,
Could I be the liner notes
If you were the book?

Could this be the preface
Of a classic compilation?
Chapter one, they meet
In some exotic nation,
A couple random souls
Bumping shoulders on a train,
First impressions so important
Etched a memory in his brain.

A dark-haired brunette
Fit and healthy, there's a start,
He noticed a sudden change
In the beating of his heart,
Single parent, that's OK
It means she knows selfless love;
As if predestination existed
He felt a little shove.

Chapter two, they meet again
He saw her at the diner,
That little lurch inside his heart
Noticing she was finer,
Than the nebulous memory
Etched inside his brain,
But understanding, he'd been in love
Since that night upon the train.

Chapter three, for now
Is essentially unwritten,
The protagonist in question
Undoubtedly is smitten,
Not sure where the dialogue
Will guide the future pages,
But he knows that life, love and laughter
Progress through careful stages.

Dream Kiss girl
Showed up on my vacation,
A lovely dream as usual
With customary excitation,
The details are secret
But her presence was refined,
My dream-self stated
I'm glad I haven't dined.

Sure, she was illusory
Flickering in and out,
In a dream world that is expected
It is nothing to be mad about,
And like any good fantasy
One must appreciate the incremental,
Dreams of this nature
Are way beyond incidental.

Considering my location
This may have been,
That Venezuelan Barista
Visiting again,
But this time in spirit
Ephemeral and pure,
And whatever is ailing me
I think she is the cure.

We had a romp of sorts
That I may not reveal,
And for a dream girl babe
She is the real deal,
No photographs exist
She has no telephone,
Her appearances are unpredictable
Her whereabouts unknown.

Dream Kiss Babe
That was exquisite,
It ranks among
The most delicious visit,
Dribbling wine in my mouth
With a delicate flute,
Followed by a simple kiss
To boot.

There may have been chocolate
Involved in this endeavor,
Whatever it was
You were so delicately clever,
Such a simple fine wine
And the taste of your kiss,
No dream before
Has ever been quite like this.

Dream kiss babe
This sweet dream doth linger,
I barely did touch you
At all with my finger,
Bur when wine and chocolate are included
With a delicate kiss,
That is a dream
I will sorely miss.

Adventurous responder
What an admirable reply,
My adrenaline is flowing
In an adequate supply,
Admittedly adroit
In administering rhyme,
I advert that this concept
Is advanced before its' time,
So in respect, I will adjourn
This ad nauseum decree,
And extend my gratitude
Your kind response to me.

Ad-venturous lover
Of quality living,
Ad-ministers humor
Gentle, forgiving,
Ad-ult on the surface
Ad-olescent at heart,
Ad-ditional statistics
Ad-vanced at the start.

Ad-monish me not
Ad lib, ad hoc,
Add hours if possible
To my daily clock,
Add time to experience
Ad-orable gal,
Ad-junct to good fun, this
Ad-hesive pal.

A-ttractive, alluring
D-iverse in your scope,
V-ivacious woman
E-xciting I hope,
N-ew age contender of a
T-raditional gauge,
U-nderneath, very feminine
R-egardless your age,
O-pen and honest
U-nbelievable, but true,
S-uch are the ways of the adventurous you.

I have to tell you truthfully
That I enjoyed our meeting,
It was more than just the coffee
And the cookie I was eating,
Your friendly personality
And forthright point of view,
Left a pleasant sort of aftertaste
When I said goodbye to you.

All in all, I left our meeting
Knowing somehow this event,
Wasn't such that in the future
Its occurrence, I'd repent,
Instead, I felt a smile
Commanding my attention,
Imagining a rendezvous
With adventurous intention.

Just waiting and waiting
For my doctor to come,
The clock ticking quietly
Like a perpetual drum,
Louder and louder
It seems to me,
Death sits in the corner
Inconspicuously.

I just want acknowledgment
Though I know the replies,
There's no rhyme or reason
When somebody dies,
Yet even the dying
Deserve some respect,
Death sits in the corner
He's here to collect.

Before my doctor arrived
To say good day,
Death stretched out its hand
And took me away;
I know why my physician
Wouldn't come near;
Death sat in my corner
And challenged his fear.

One step ahead of me
Climbing the stairs,
Deep in the caverns
We travel in pairs,
When you can't quite reach
I push from behind,
Together we seek
And jointly we find.

I know I must be someone
But I don't remember who,
I have a job somewhere
But I don't know what I do,
I have some friends and family
But I don't know who they are,
I would find them if I could, you know
But I can not find my car.

She seemed forlorn
Staring off into space,
She wanted to be alone
I could see it in her face.

I left her alone
But kept myself near,
Providing security
I felt her deep fear;
It set her apart
And restricted her travel,
I felt all the tension
About to unravel.

Should I go sit beside her
And offer my hand,
Help lift off the weight
And allow her to stand?

It seems the best thing
She has so much sorrow,
If I help her today
She'll feel better tomorrow.

Roses are red
Violets are blue,
This secret admirer
Has eyes for only you.

Roast beef is red
And bruises are blue,
The sun fails to shine
When I'm without you.

How's that for romance
On this day, Valentine?
Won't you grant me my wish
And be only mine?

Thought I'd call you tonight
But realized it was late,
I'll try again
At a later date.

I remember the good and bad
Times that we spent,
Those moments went quickly
The many places we went.

I think of the future
And the years in between,
Since I saw you last, friend
So much has been seen.

I think of old friends
And the one known as me,
Then I wonder if ever
I can share it with thee.

You know my heart toes out searching
For friends such as you,
Because the value I'm seeking
Is owned by so few.

1982

I met up with an old friend
Our paths in life were differently diverse,
And yet our personal sufferings
Were of a blessing and a curse,
We shared our life stories
Each was astonished by the other,
And when we said our goodbyes
I thought, “Safe journey my brother”.

The tenderest of moments
The tentative kiss,
The touch of a memory
Reminds me of this.

Where silence surrounds
And love burrows deep;
In visions of beauty
These things I will keep.

I sat upon the bluff last night
I looked across the canyon,
I deliberated destiny
I was my own companion,
The sunset spread across the sky
In a thousand colored tones,
Ancient voices echoed from the walls
The wisdom in the stones.

The evidence of centuries erosion
I have touched,
The absolute infinity of loving
I have clutched,
The tenderness of kindness
Presented by a friend,
These are things that have beginnings
But never have an end.

1994  (Paradise CA, Skyway Bluff)

I'm so close to you
It's causing me pain,
My heart wants to hold you
It's too much of a strain,
Though I currently stand
As your confidante and friend,
I might fall in love
With you in the end.

Too close for comfort
I’m vulnerable too;
Afraid that I'm falling
In love with you.

Emotional breakthrough
Strains at my insides,
Physical and mental fatigue
On a roller-coaster ride,
Lost, wandering souls
In a bookstore at night,
Rampage through the writings
Of love, death and fright,
Titles blend
They all become one,
The moon will give in
To the rising sun.

Mood altering chemicals
Endogenous dreams,
My heart cries in agony
A nightmare of screams,
Who would pursue
Such consummate pain,
It may appear washable
But always leaves a stain,
And after a while
The background just fades,
Personality tinted
By several gray shades.

Thank goodness the sun
Rises each day,
Because the night of the soul
Can hold the heart-song at bay,
Squelch the fires of love
And the passions of pleasure,
Effectively burying
The beauty you treasure.

My baby had a Tesla ride
This week,
She said it was oh-so comfortable
And suggested that I should take a peek.

I compare a luxury car like that
To the ownership of an iPhone,
Which I have never learned to operate
Even for hours alone.

She passengered in a Tesla
Saturday and Sunday,
From the gleam in her eye
It must have been a fun day.

And I'm hearing the story
As we're riding in the bumpy truck,
She has a habit of getting her own way
With a smile and a kiss and her own good luck.

My baby wants a Tesla
But I know it’s not for me,
It’s like buying a thoroughbred
And man, they’re not free.

I saw a lady
Hanging up a sign,
I thought maybe for a yard sale
Until I heard her whine,
She said her poodle got out
And she’s on the run,
Yes, her poodle got away
Probably having fun.

A photograph showed
On the front of that poster,
She said if you find my poodle
I will give you a toaster,
And I’ll cook you a meal
With seventeen courses,
Because my poodle escaped
Along with all of the horses.

She said the poodle got out
At half past eight,
When someone at home
Left open the gate,
I asked, what is the name
Of your runaway poodle?
She said my sweet puppy
Is called Snicker-Doodle,

I thought…………
Poodle has been gone about two hours,
Maybe she's down at the bar
Having whiskey-sours,
Celebrating herself
For finally getting away,
After being in the yard
For a year and a day.

Poodle got out
Because she wanted to play,
Without a chain around her neck
(That's the human way),
To manage one’s pet
When you live in the city,
Poodle got out
To get ***** and gritty.

Poodle Got Out signs
Everywhere I look,
Maybe that’s the advice
In the Lost Dog book,
Engage the neighborhood
With the core of your drama,
Snicker-Doodle on the run
If you see her; call Momma.

I was taught a new game
By a delightful creature,
She called it "Blend In"
It has an imaginary feature,
I was instructed to pretend
That my eyes couldn't see,
When this delightful little creature
Was right in front of me.

Could she be a Hummingbird
Or a magical fairy?
How she became invisible
Was a bit scary,
And as I looked around
Not seeing her at all,
I'm sure I heard giggling
Perhaps she makes herself small.

Goldie the cat
Played along with us too,
Goldie understood
Exactly what to do,
Take a nap in the grass
To be covered with leaves,
Goldie is magic
That's what everyone believes.

Oh, finally the fog
Was lifted from my eyes,
After searching high and low
And twenty-five tries,
Lifting rocks, moving branches
Checking closets, one, two, three,
I found Cee Cee the pixie
Right in front of me.

Blend In
Is a jolly good game,
You need magical thinking
So it's never the same,
Each time you go looking
For the enchanted creature,
But listen for giggling
It is a prominent feature.

There was a time I wished
That you would be,
The perfect valentine
For me,
In time I learned
It wasn’t so,
I asked you out
And you said no.

There was a time I dreamed
Of another life,
Where we lived together
As husband and wife,
But that was a period
Long ago,
Beyond the veil
Where memories grow.

There was a time
A fiction, a fantasy,
Where you would walk
Along side of me,
One day I awakened
To discover and learn,
You were somewhere else
And it wasn’t my turn.

His one way forever trip
Lasted five weeks,
When he exhausted his cash
And was bored up to his cheeks,
There were the usual excursions
To see cousins and monks,
But when all was said and done
He was just one of the punks.

They have little inspiration
And no imagination,
To do anything beyond
Their comfort zone,
This leads to lassitude and laziness
Goofing off and craziness,
Made worse without the
Latest mobile phone.

When your iPhone doesn’t function
At the Annapurna junction,
When the SIM card can not find
A local tower,
The entertainment cycle fades
Winding down the fool charades,
Time to hit the road back home
And toss some flour.

In one Asian culture, tossing flour in the air at New Years celebration is to bring good luck.

A pleasure pastry must have sweetness
As a qualifier of completeness.

Who is that on yonder trellis
Oh my gosh it's Little Ellis,
Climbing higher, hand over hand
Chasing something? nothing planned.

Perhaps he saw a shooting star
Or a will'-o-the wisp somewhere afar,
Regardless, Mother where were you?
When Ellis decided what to do.

When Ellis reached the top of the trellis
I think he said, “Hey, look at me fellas”,
And then he waited till his Momma could see
Knowing she will be proud of me

Momma came looking for Little Ellis
At first relaxed and then over zealous,
Running in circles, bordering on frantic
As her worries and fears became gigantic.

Then she heard a giggle, a **** and a burp
Over her head like a little bird chirp,
Raising her eyes upwards toward the skies
Little Ellis on the Trellis
Yelling, “Momma, surprise!”

I used to fall in love
(Infatuation) with all kinds of birds,
There was an early Robin
Long before the one with the ring.........no words,
Robin #1 had a single-mother
Kept a keen eye on us,
This girl was totally cute
But they left on a bus,
At least I think so
When their apartment was vacated,
I was broken hearted
And that is understated.

Before that there was Lynn
I carried her school books on my bicycle,
An eighth-grade romance
I wasn’t yet an icicle,
No major touching
Just a casual knowing,
That she was nice and I was attracted
Gentle winds were blowing.

Then there was Vicky
I didn't treat her well,
I was beginning to get anxious
In my own private hell,
Now I know why
I had a hard time making decisions,
Others had always chosen for me
With strict conditions.

Jeanie changed all that
We were fun on the run,
Things got hot and heavy
And we almost shot the gun,
We played around for a while
Even after we went our ways,
Friday night rendezvous’
Bored teenagers practicing plays.

Cindy was a drop-in
Restrictive Catholic parents on tap,
But she was a hottie
Sitting on my lap,
Man, things were hot and juicy
But we weren’t really rolling in the same crew,
It was a short run romance
I should not have stirred the stew.

After that I fell in love once more
With a younger girl again,
Marcia was her name
But I was a mess by then,
I could not express my feelings
And hardly talk on the telephone,
I took her to the Prom
I was like a stupid stone.

It was hard being me
Those “incel” guys, I completely understand,
There was no internet groove at the time
A support group for the not in demand,
But, I wasn’t angry at women
I was quite aware of my limitations,
Which didn’t make it easier
Just a lot of hopeless never-invitations.

Don’t even imagine
That my story ever improved,
I got to age forty-five
And my world had not moved,
Now, something did happen
But it was not of my creation,
I guess that was the final answer
Step aside and just take dictation.

Just do what someone else suggested
To see what might occur,
I tried it and God Dang!
I met HER.

I sat upon an anthill
The ants were not amused,
They called me inconsiderate
I was threatened and accused,
When I discovered my grievous error
I leaped up to apologize,
Brushing my clothing vigorously
Much to their surprise.

I discovered sometime later
Ants are very clever,
They will sneak inside one's clothing
Like a military endeavor,
A nibble here, a nibble there
A crawling sensation in my hair,
Getting their revenge
For disturbing their home and lair.

Ants are devious
That's for sure,
Tea tree oil was
The cure,
A lesson was learned
For future use,
Be more careful where I sit
To avoid ant abuse.

Here's a funny story
What a five year old knows,
A lot more than just
Fingers and toes,
She can't read very well
But she knows about Love,
And when you read through this story
You'll say, "Good heavens above!:"

She visited today and
We went to the playground,
Red Magnolia flowers
Were just lying around,
They were so pretty
She brought a few to the car,
To give some to her Grandma
Now, that's raising the bar.

A couple hours later
She was talking about a date,
Flower petals on the stairway
Leading up to bedroom eight,
And I began to get suspicious
Wondering, what is she talking about?
Her home does not have a stairway
And her parents are more roundabout.

Google-search is my friend
“Rose petals on stairway leading to bedroom”,
Instantly 25 photos of Valentine ideas
Adult themes pushing bing-badda-boom,
From a five year old child
Where do these images arise?
YouTube, Roblox and you name it
They consume this stuff all day; no surprise!

A first generation immigrant family
There is hardly a reading book found in the house,
Brother and sister age five and seven
**** on their iPads like a scurrying mouse,
No limits are set, no blocking of content
The parents are clueless while the kids are engaged,
With TikTok videos of gyrating and gesturing
A five year old groomed to be teenaged.

The end of the story: this is how it went
Grandma and Grandpa were guided up the stairs,
To stand at the edge of the bed
She told us to kiss while she hid behind the chairs,
I made a loud lip noise but she wasn’t fooled
She shouted, “No, you really have to kiss”,
Remember what I said at the start of this poem?
Good Heavens above, what her parents do miss!

She’s got a leash on her boy
And she’s carrying her dog,
She has her face in her phone
And her brain is in a fog.

That’s what we call consciousness
In the world today,
Social media drives everything
Around work and play,
Well, my standard statement is
I just can't figure out this phone,
It’s so much smarter than me
I’d rather leave it alone.

Don’t hand me any device
With a name that begins with an I,
For twenty years now
I’ve given them a try,
But none of those i-devices
Make any sense to me,
I have an Android brain
That’s how it was meant to be.

Sure, money is a factor
I don’t like to spend it very much,
But I’m instantly frustrated
With any iPhone or iTouch,
Even if I win the lottery
I won’t be buying Apple devices,
Heck, I’m a millionaire now
And I still fixate on prices.

I only use about five applications
And I rarely take pictures,
All those pixels and adjustments
Just give me strictures,
I don’t use Facebook
Twitter, Instagram or TikTok,
I bought a smartphone
To process credit cards
Down on the auction block.

Her boy is off the leash now
And he’s chasing a ball,
While Momma and her Pomeranian
Are on a Whatsapp conference call.

People read my poetry
But I rarely see a 'Like",
Would it be better
If I had a Harley Davison bike?
If I talked the language
Of "Born To Be Wild",
And I wrote some poems
About a love child.

Well honestly
My life was a little bit like that,
One marriage after
I hooked up with
An overseas bobcat,
Younger by ten years
She looked like she was eighteen,
My oh my, she was cute
Better than anything I had ever seen.

We met and talked
Three days later we were married,
It grooved with my profile
Crazy desires partially buried,
I didn’t know her
She didn’t know me,
Heck, we didn’t speak the same language
But it was fine with what I did see.

Fast-forward
Now it’s twenty-three years later,
You might ask if I had been twenty-eight
Would I have considered a date with her?
Oh my god, she was just as cute
Back when she was a teenager,
But I couldn’t know her then
Nor was it time to make a wager.

Flavors and odors of themselves
Can prompt a recall of events long passed,
I'm tasting a Port wine tonight
And a memory of you came up fast,
Was it the excitement of the moment
Or the smooth taste of the wine?
Or was it the memory of much more
Sending tingles down my spine.

A little bit of both working together
A technicolor recollection, I can say,
The combination of good times
Were enough to cause the memory to stay,
Lodged in my brain fibers
Inspired by a simple twist of the cap,
Remembrance of the sweet kiss of Port
And you were sitting on my lap.

Yes, memories can tell stories
That might never have been,
In the hands of a writer of fiction
At the behest of my imaginary twin.

You try it sometime
Cream Sherry or sweet Port,
A best friend at your side
Keep your secrets and never report,
What transpired that day
Those few months in that year,
And when you're three decades older
You will hold those memories dear.

I wonder sometimes
What stories I'll tell,
On my way to Heaven
Not heading for Hell,
Some might think I'm crazy
The things that I'm saying,
But if you are religious
I know that you're praying.

At work the other night
I performed some good feat,
The nurse that I helped said
God bless you, Pete,
And it caused me to wonder
If she somehow had the power,
Bestowed on her by God
To bless me that hour.

I didn't notice any difference
That a blessing could have made,
Perhaps the blessing is in storage
To be sometime later played,
To my better advantage
In a time of greater need,
Like when I stick myself with a needle
Causing me to bleed.

What makes people think
They can randomly send a blessing,
As personal agents of God
It's almost depressing,
Because that's what the whackos say
Before they poison their flock,
It fills me with trepidation
As I prepare for the blessing shock.

Who knows what it means
When you're blessed for a sneeze,
Though I've always preferred
"Gesundheit", if you please,
That kind German wish
To offer me good health,
But I'd really prefer ten dollars
And wish me good wealth.

Most people declare
Some New Year's resolution,
But after just about five weeks
They experience New Year's dissolution,
Their resolve fizzles out
Their intentions migrate to another nation,
Let's rewind the narrative
I propose a New Year's recommendation.

Taking into account
The party excitement of January one,
You will promise yourself almost anything
To have a couple more hours of fun,
But with the hangover that comes next day
You may feel a sense of degradation,
So far your resolutions are in the trash can
What you need is a New Year's recommendation.

Recommendations allow for some wiggle room
Instead of being ****** for what you do or what you don't,
When choosing the lesser of two evils
You can opt for the lesser instead of the one that you won't,
In the world of N-Y resolutions
You may feel cursed when you blow it the first time,
Whereas with New Year's recommendations
You realize you haven't committed a crime,

I hope to start a new trend
Where we stop beating ourselves up,
When we make a couple of egregious mistakes
But that is just the half-filled cup,
Leaving room for the better intentions
That are bound to return sometime next week,
When your New Year’s Recommendations
Are discovered at that hot new boutique.

What is the thing
What bothers me the most?
Relentless streams of visitors
Or the ever-present ghost,
He rattles in the closet
And hides behind the curtain,
At times, I prefer the ghost
Over visitors, that's for certain.

I can talk to the ghost
He doesn't talk back,
He tries to throw ectoplasm
But his aim is out of whack,
Although he manages to frighten
The ones who see him not,
I guess I'm some kind of emissary
The only friend he's got.

Everywhere I've worked
There has always been a ghost,
I think he's a greeter for death
Like your friendly Walmart host,
Essentially, non-threatening
Offering his invisible, twisted smile,
A member of the welcome wagon
With his own peculiar style.

There have been she-ghosts
But they bear a different role,
As experts of duplicity
They come to recognize the soul,
Do an assessment of lifetime value
The good and bad and the duration,
Flip a coin and do the numbers
For the ultimate destination.

All in all, I count my blessings
For the role I chose to play,
There are wonderful people I work with
Each and every day,
And when unending streams of visitors
Fray my nerves like overcooked toast,
I can stick my head in the housekeeping closet
And talk to my friend the ghost.

Sparkle Girl visited for Christmas
She's 5-1/2 going on 13,
A mesmerizing bundle of energy
If you know what I mean,
She can demonstrate TikTok videos
Knows all the dance steps and ****** expressions,
She has no clue what the words mean
Nor their lasting impressions.

Dramatic distress
Some people display,
When they are trying
To have things their way

Dramatic impress
Is their method and plan,
Get everyone's attention
Like an earthquake in Japan.

Dramatic finesse
Self-trained, she's a master,
Oh, what would I give for
My Stokes-Adams blaster,
Holstered on my hip
For situations such as this,
A dramatic departure
With flame and a hiss.

I have never trusted
The testing of IQ,
Who is smarter
Me or you?
Yesterday, I scored one-forty
Last week an eighty,
After a night of boozing
'Twas my birthday, matey.

When I was a kid
I thought it meant, I’m cute testing,
I got really good scores
My destiny was manifesting,
But then I became awkward
When I hit thirteen,
My popularity plummeted
If you know what I mean.

IQ, I’m cute
Don’t go hand in hand,
Some of the smartest folks
Are dorky and bland,
And your **** stud boyfriend
Might be dumber than a post,
That’s why I don’t trust the testing
Nor do I ever boast.

At the river
I fantasized,
If you fell in
Your boat capsized,
As you swept away
I would leap or dive,
Doing what I could
To keep you alive.

But what if I pushed you
To create the disaster,
I would swim to your side
Swifter and faster,
Than the turbulent waters
To save you from harms,
Just a devious way
To get you into my arms.

I could say you weren't breathing
And place my mouth to your lips,
I could listen over your heart
And palpate your hips,
I could do all those things
With an innocent guile,
But would you knock me out cold
Or let me see your sweet smile?

At the river I dreamed
As the water streamed by,
No need for me to explain
Why I awoke with a sigh.

When I was single at forty
I was only eighteen,
If you knew what I implied
You would know what I mean.

I have always held the theory
Our age is frozen when we meet,
The one that we love
That one we hold so sweet;

And we move forward from that day
But chronologically, we don't change,
So really, I'm just forty-six now
Come now, this isn't so strange;

Because when I was forty-six
That sweet lady, she was ten years younger,
And just one look at her
Well, I was filled with a hunger

I didn't know that I was quite so famished
I guess my best friend, could have told me,
But at the time I was distracted
It didn't matter what she sold me.
Reality wasn't working for me
Too much makeup and perfume,
Enough scent in their detergent
To clear cockroaches from the room.

I was searching for a love
And the candidates were few,
I took so long to declare my interest
All they could say was, "who are you?",
So, why should I blame them
I needed something spontaneous,
Just seek an imaginary woman
And call it extemporaneous.

So now and forever
I'm only forty-six,
And the woman that I'm with?
She's prettier than pixy-sticks.