I think about you every day
And though we're far apart,
I talk to you this silent way
The whispers from my heart.

I was recently hired
In the Eye Tea division,
After an Earl Gray interview
It was an easy decision.

If Mika is just like her mother
The world is a better place,
If Mika looks like her mother
Then surely, she has a beautiful face;
And if Mika learns from her mother
Perhaps she'll live in a state of grace.

She's a cutie, yessiree
If I was single
And she was free,
I might propose
A rendezvous,
I'm sure there's something
We could do.

But then I left
Before we could,
Was that bad or
Was that good?,
I don't know
But it was fun,
To imagine things
We never done.

In the future
I might repeat,
This kind of thing
Is simple and neat,
Flirt a little
And laugh a lot,
‘Tis an exercise
That ends with naught.

Genius that I am
At nonsense creation,
I've had a hundred business ideas
Without organization,
I proposed making dog jewelry
But we never got to it,
We tried hot spicy dog bones
But they wouldn't chew it,
Let's make puppy clothing
But I don't know how to sew,
I'm just a creator of ideas
And that's all I know.

I have a new concept
But I can't share it with you,
You might figure out the process
Then I wouldn't get my due,
So my clever ideas
Are kept hidden in a box,
And eventually they are gone
Like the keys for the locks.

I thought that I might sometime see
A dog betrothed unto the flea,
A married match that some might think
Was consummated in a blink.

Alas, alack it didn't last
That marriage ended really fast,
The flea took blood, the dog did itch
And so he scratched away that *****,
That had the gall to bite the groom
Before they left the marriage room,
The dog said, Pastor, ditch this deal
I do not like this itchy feel,
I was better off when I was single
Before the flea and I did mingle;
A moral of this tale takes flight
Don't marry, should your girlfriend bite.

What started as something
Resulted in naught,
Like making a purchase
Then regretting what was bought.

Preemptive expectations
Often overly excite,
What started as a kiss
Turned into a bite.

If I could take away your pain
I would do it in a hurry,
I'd place it in a *** of
Sautéed porcupine and curry,
Then I'd feed it to the scavengers
The beggars and the thieves,
Whatever the outcome of my efforts
I assure you, no one grieves.

If I found a box of answers
I would give the best to you,
For all your loving care and kindness
You most definitely are due,
Rewards for all the suffering
You took from those who crossed your path,
A box of answers, for your troubles
And the most soothing bubble-bath.

Stop drinking alcohol
And see what transpires,
Use it instead
For the leaf burning piles,
In the middle of the driveway
In those yesterday years,
Back then we used kerosene
And still the smoke produced tears.

Stop eating chocolate?
Not if I have a choice,
I have it every day
And feel like a Rolls Royce,
Luxuriously comfortable
And with power to spare,
I'd rather give up water
Or purified air.

Moderation is key
You know we've all heard that,
Whoever said it first
Deserves a thump with a bat,
An instructional proverb
Across centuries and cultures,
If you paid for that therapy?
Well, thou hast met vultures.