i never used to smoke
but since you left,
it’s the only time i can seem to breathe

if thieves steal
because they want to be chased
then you are the one
with the heart in your hands
and i'm the one
running

Sometimes I wonder
If thieves plunder
Just to be wanted
To be chased and haunted
For the alternative is worse
Unwanted is the true curse

I always find myself reaching, but
Despite my large frame I can never clear the gap

Gnarled knuckles, groping
But not blindly.
I know desperately what I want

If you could see how I felt
I would cut a most unusual figure,
Back bent and twisted as I limp on,
Hands shaking
As I struggle to carry this great weight.

But there is no rest for me

me.gs

I bow my head
The cold water hits the back of my skull

I gasp in a breath and feel the air sticking to my lungs

I look in the mirror
Two hollow cheekbones and high, cutting cheekbones

I can see my ribs.
Standing in a growing puddle,
I'm draining.

Soon I'll be empty

me.gs

i fall back
off the cliff,
time slows as i fall,
the air feels cool,
refreshing
against my skin,
the gray sky watches me
and i watch back,
i close my eyes
before i hit the water
and smile.

why?
i wanted to feel alive.