I'm retracing the steps you once took,
The remnant of sepia shadows that was once here,
To understand what this art really means to you.

In front of me, a random grass patch where you once lay
Now lies abandoned for puppies to roll and tourists to pose
I am sitting here seven years too late,
Born too late to meet him, who now sleeps in the soil,
But not too late to breathe the same air as you.

So let’s dance and create our own footprints,
I promise I'll immortalize our shadows,
Engrave your words in my heart,
Etch your name like these memorials on the stone.

Now that I'm here, I promise you that
Nothing shall be erased by the wind,
Nobody will say that “it is forgotten”.

All magic disappears
When the truth settles in
I dreamt of something fleeting
But forgot it shattered a long time ago.

I can see it in your gray eyes that we are not the same,
You have heavier steps, darker shadows, a sadder smile,
While I am benched on the sidelines, a few years too late,
And a billion lightyears away.

These white lights shine too bright for my

poor dead eyes, and the man’s ramblings, he

held my eardrums hostage. Then came a sudden squall, she

engulfed me in one heck of a waterfall.


Faint moonlight peeked at the end of a musty, darkly lit stairwell we

saw each other and laughed at our equally drenched clothes, our

wet hair. As sewer rats, we scurried to rescue potted plants, we

whipped *****, thuds on white walls, with sticks and knives and all. We

rolled on the floor and nearly got concussions, sprained ankles. I

remembered how to fall again, to do it all in one fell swoop.


I know my body was mine, but now it is also yours, so we

danced, barefoot, twirled in our arms, caught each other, ate our

mother’s mooncakes while the storm rages on somewhere, outside. We

smiled, mouths full with black sesame, white lotus, egg yolks, our

laughter echoing under this gentle white light, upon this warm wood.

This conversation spins nothing, but this means everything to me.


We walk under the damp, stale, starless sky, remnants of the squall. You

suddenly proclaimed that all stars have gathered for me,

and it is my stage, my game now, so I

went home smiling despite it all. You

don’t know that this mid-autumn night was all I ever dreamed of.

Ugly, ugly, ugly, feelings that were once yours but now mine

you have a life bigger than mine, and it used to be the opposite

like how you used to want to own me, now i want you for myself.

I wonder what you will feel if I tell you my true, ugly thoughts now.

This is madness, years of staying by each other’s sides,

It is time we part. I must accept you have a different life now.

Ugly, ugly, ugly thoughts and feelings that made me write this prose,

Disappear, disappear, disappear. This is

Ugly, ugly, ugly.

you take granted

of my existence a bit too much

in your rose-tinted eyes that

always look for the easy way out,

i am far too less, because i am always there,

like the air you breathe, never rare,

the rock that never changes, never bares.

you know i hate that part of you, i really do.

at the end of the tunnel my heart trembles,
overwhelmed by waves of telephone rings,
unexecuted promises, ecstasy of a newfound soul
but the threat of a fragile thread, i try to
breathe but the air goes nowhere, and then i
look, mama, the henna on my hand is fading away
i sigh at the inevitability of things, all of this reality
does not feel like reality, we are all in the last stretch
of our escape, i see the light at the end of the dark
ness, but why does it feel like i’m simply standing
still waiting to be kept in another cage. darling,
darling, my henna is wearing thin. i want out,
i want freedom, i want love, i want this anxiety
to fade away like the lovely patterns quickly wearing
thin, thin, thin, to match the colour of my skin.

our surf together is done, we ride different waves now,
you said you split your time in pockets
while i slice my potatoes into tiny, little dice,
so maybe we’re not too different after all.

(i’m glad i said what i wanted to say for a while now,
and i want to let you know that i really meant when i said,
i’m really gonna miss you.)