I thirst with
an ache for
something I
cannot name

So in death I shall
quench my thirst

All I want is one day
Where my veins don't itch below the skin
Where I don't crave the bites

All I want is one day
Where I don't have to think about it
If only so I could clear the hair from my skin without temptation

All I want is one day
Where I don't have to fight with myself through every moment
To indulge in life's simple pleasures with an undistracted mind

All I want is one day
Where the spiders don't crawl beneath my skin
And I cease searching for scars that have since faded

All I want is one day
But I would take an hour-
Or even a minute...

Simply to be free of the spiderwebs that splay across my skin.

I wanted to forgive her
I really did.
Even with her misplaced blame
I wanted to believe she was contrite.
And I tried to make it so
But I knew in my chest that it couldn't be real
I let her text me
But feared seeing her in public.
The sight of her sister made it all
Come rushing back.
Her memory lurks in every corner
Even though they are both long gone.

Even with her misplaced blame
She didn't /sound/ sorry.

When you look at me
Just another person is what you see
But there are thing you don't know
That people are more then they seem to be
And when you think I am alone with no place to go
That's when I am truly free

I feel sick
Rotten to the core
All I want to do is quit
I can't take it any more

Nothing I do will stick
And just makes me feel more sore
I think about ending it
But I can't loose this war

I know there's no trick
To make me feel like I did before
But I'll keep on trying to make some thing fit
Because I believe life has more for me in store

You put words in my mouth through thoughts in your head—
Thoughts that deserve to be head.
Why, just why the hell would you believe your mind rather than mine?
I did everything for you.
Rearranged my priorities,
Took control of some of these
wild thoughts in my brain.
Make time for you.
Kinda upset that time is wasted now
But you wasted your time too,
Arranging a script for me out of your distortions. Go on, take a bow!
You did such a great job at flipping and folding and molding my words into something new.
Anyway,
It’ll be fun to see what I can do
now that I know I don’t need you.

When I was 15, I learned promises can be empty.
They’ll open the door,
Lead you inside.
Look you right in the eyes and lie.
They’ll promise you, “I’ll be back.”
Then they slam the door and all will go black,
Leaving you waiting, yearning for their light.
After a while you’ll learn that they’ve left you for good, and wonder:
“who gave you the right?”
Then whisper:
“who gave you the right?”
Then cry:
“Who gave you the right?”
Then scream:
“WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT?”
While your voice and heart crack,
But the simple fact is,
It doesn’t matter now.
Now, it’s not about them. It’s about you.
They left. They’re through.
Pick yourself up, put yourself back together.
Forget about them, throw away the control they had over you before, find the key, twist off the padlock and step through that **** door,
And promise yourself not to go back there anymore.

Your yellow post-its used to sprinkle my possessions with good messages,
assurances,
support.
They brought a smile to my face and a skip to my heartbeat.
But now,
Your handwriting haunts my head and I can’t escape.
Everywhere I look, all I see is your cursive letters and your initial at the bottom of the message.
I crumpled them up after I’ve ripped them off of their page,
I burn them,
I tear them,
I try to forget them.
And the more I try to forget them the more I remember how much it hurt when I destroyed them in the first place.

It comes in waves, but waves no one else feels; not water waves.
I am hearing frequencies no one else can hear, and they are so powerful that they knock me down, face flat on the ground.
When I try to explain,
They all claim they understand but then how are they still standing?
The particles compressing and stretching are stressing my mind, yet my body cannot muster to fight.
I have almost given up flight.
The air isn’t clear enough,
not quiet enough,
I lost hope and I can find it
It’s been rough but no ones buying it
And that’s when I find myself drowning in the sound no one else can hear.