Products and/or standards of a capitalistic market
Are usually never intended to
Create long-term satisfaction
That is just not how it works
They need to shift constantly

What is "in" or on trend frequently changes
In order to be able to continue selling new products
It is based on promising a temporary product with a temporary high

she holds my hand in her palm
cradling it gently
as she cleans
the wounds she reopened
again
on my calloused paper skin.
The giver birth
and
the harbinger of my death,
embraces me in crocodile tears.
"Who is she?" I am asked
and in a cracked voice bandaged with promises,
I answer;
"she is my mother."

When you have had a lack of mirroring
And a history of denial and dismissal
Color your harmful experiences

To see another person be moved to tears
Flips the emotional world you have mostly known your entire life upside down

It does something to the internal psyche

I may not cry with them
I may appear apathetic at times
But it's closer to stoicism
Truly

Because deep down within this conditioned mask of controlled and suppressed emotions
There's a little girl whispering thank you

Thank you for seeing my hurt
And being touched by it
Vulnerable enough to mirror for me
The grieving of my trauma

Then suddenly the storm ended
  
The chaos was over

The sun came out and shed it’s light on all the wreckage

It made the tears running down my cheeks sparkle like diamonds

sometimes I wish I had cancer
then people would send me flowers, and get well soon cards.
but I am bipolar
so when I am sick
I suffer alone, ashamed
because too many times
people synonymously use my illness for crazy.

-please stop