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May 2018 · 442
Procrastination Examination
Brian McDonagh May 2018
If there is a snare deadlier than boredom,
It is searching for an occupation
With the direct intention to pass the time.
Beware not to fall for an occupation
That seduces your commitment and dedication vainly;
For you will age with the regret
Of having some of your life’s story
Write what you actually did not want all along.
I do my best to avoid boredom because life has so much excitement to it that I never will fully realize, but then there are strings attached to the notion of keeping busy as well...
May 2018 · 249
Book Food
Brian McDonagh May 2018
Each time I read,
I feed
On the words I heed
That will lead
Me to impede
On my need,
Which is no ****,
But of which I bleed
Without greed.
I am freed
As I pray bead-to-bead
When I read
With the determination of a stampede,
The delicacy of a centipede,
The brilliance of an equine steed
The toughness of a car just keyed,
And with the harmony of a reed
Until from life I secede.
Rhymes are awesome haha.
May 2018 · 177
Passive Trickery
Brian McDonagh May 2018
Some, guilting myself, use reverse-psychology
To aim for a timely desire
Through patient methods…

The “I-don’t-want-to-be-a-bother” thought
Chains me down to be present in a social crowd,
And put on the cute quiet-boy card.
How is that any more sociable than being social?
I don’t know…even I don’t understand my ways.

I’ve also put on self-depriving airs
To deviously slurp compassion from people
When I wanted to hear that people care for me,
Even though, obviously, just being present
Should be caring enough.

Let this be a caveat lest others
Fall for the shy stunts.
Using poetry as a medium for confession I think helps me learn more about and from myself.
May 2018 · 229
Work Undone
Brian McDonagh May 2018
I turn the lights off, you turn them back on.
I close the refrigerator door, you open it back up.
I return items to their original places, you move them.
I leave the toilet seat up, you fold it back down.
I vacuum the carpets, you immediately imprint your feet where I stopped.
I lock the door, you unlock it.
I turn the TV off, you turn it back on.
I recycle the newspaper, you bring it back out.
I make dinner, you order takeout.
I unplug, you plug back in.
I sketch, you erase.
I say one thing, you argue against it.
Today, nothing happened.
Not saying I've been a part of all these instances, but this is just to exemplify
my encounters with those who have different ideas.
May 2018 · 886
Anti-Dodgeball
Brian McDonagh May 2018
Curveballs can be hit,
But dodgeballs are impossible to dodge.
Comparing dodgeball to a summer’s day?
Shakespeare, try again.
Dodgeball, you are synonymous
To a hellfire confined to a perimeter
That destroys everything it touches,
Especially at summer camps.
I walk away from dodgeball alive,
But dead in self-esteem:
Always getting hit,
And any clever maneuver of mine always seems to be a violation
Of game rules.
Dodgeball, you only fuel my aggression.
When I am the only one in play,
And see beyond the half court line
Stronger, more agile and athletic demons
Ready to pelt their confidence against my hope,
My mind defaults to “bad-sport” ideas
And just wants to get the match over with,
Lose or win.
With a POW!
Or even the slightest brush of orb to skin,
I give in
And have to wait until opposing victory cheers melt
Before grudgingly submitting to a pointless rematch
That tortures me, vaccinates me with sulky feelings.
Crying over spilled milk is negotiable,
But I cannot undo the rash from the whiff of a dodgeball
By screaming “That’s so not fair!”
Instead, I force out good sportsmanship,
My eyes wincing, my throat and mind hardening
In the struggle to keep vengeance contained.
If only the interest in dodgeball would cease
And suffocate on the taste of its own humiliation.
Boy, would I ever love to burn some dodgeball rubber.
Never liked dodgeball...and probably never will lol.
May 2018 · 347
Senses Census
Brian McDonagh May 2018
Trillions of skin cells,
Internal nerves galore,
Two ears,
From what we hear.
Two eyes
That catch hue dyes.
Two nostrils
Mutely rushing air traffic
Through one nose.
One mouth,
And that’s all I can say.
Hope this makes sense lol pun intended there.
May 2018 · 119
Tower of Babble
Brian McDonagh May 2018
I give you a stare showing I care,
But inside I don’t quite get what you’re saying;
I try, but does squeezing veins inside my head
Really trigger a better response and logic?
Would you prefer a sad truth?
Or a lie to make you happy?
Sure, I listen,
But eventually I hear the sounds of my thoughts
And am drowned by realistic crowd hubbub.
I want to respond with words
That favor the progress of a good conversation,
But I only have puns.
Trust me, I love to talk,
But when two voices and minds don’t catch on,
The mission for understanding becomes prolonged.
Maybe this is where
Talk-the-talk takes on a walk-the-walk cruciality.
I often find myself wanting to talk to people, but find my concentration lacking. :P  It ***** so much but it's true mostly.
Brian McDonagh May 2018
Sure, there are events
That mnemonically make sense,
But the entirety of that day, yes,
Slips as we take new steps
Toward the promised morning beyond our essence.
Trials become more, we grow to become less,
Something we need not confess,
For it cannot be concealed, even in our code of dress.
There are groans for the day to cease and those for the day to onward press,
How can this opinionized split be reconciled? Unless
Our own lives we assess
And remember those moments that still impress
Our minds and attitudes, this can we address.
When the day and our remembrance
Of it seem to fade in all hopelessness
Of retrieval, remember at least the happiness
That kissed you in distress,
That lifted you like incense.
A quintessence
Of what it’s like being on the fence
When time unleashes an offense
In weak defense
Against what we hold nevertheless
Not with hands, but with dense
Feelings, those with irreplaceable innocence.
If I have the time, why not rhyme lol?  Ever since my collegiate experience, I've been anxious about remembering each day, even just ordinary tasks because I'm afraid I will lose sight or thought of what I've done (not to be egotistical) and accomplished.  Though summarily even tasks are fleeting things, in order to remember the times I or anyone want to remember, it would only make sense to remember something at all, right?  Anyway, enjoy!
Brian McDonagh May 2018
When attached to a place,
A certain company, for a long time,
It’s no easy step to meet a new face.

Your quarter, nickel, and dime
Know well how change works;
It can be as sweet as sugar, or sour as lime.

A score of time somewhere one lurks
Withholds the power and experience
To accept seeing new folks, whether angels or jerks.

That’s the code of assimilating in an audience,
Where faces turn seat-to-seat
As if to survey an area of new and one-time presence.

There are small feet, but this is no small feat
To get to know and open ourselves.
Never doubt, though, you may find someone neat!

Stories about us, stories about themselves
In a community that has something to say;
We are books that need to be dusted and read from our shelves.

Leaving the home, mystified with each day,
Us travelers hunger for blood not yet acquainted,
There’s always a new somebody not too far away.

Community: has this a picture painted?
It has always made me nervous meeting new people face-to-face, but to me it's not growth unless an uneasy feeling is felt at some point
May 2018 · 423
A Deity's Debt
Brian McDonagh May 2018
If any divination owes you a salary,
Be hopeful that what you are paid
Could be raised on the last day.
Just a quip/pun!
May 2018 · 378
Chess in Basketball
Brian McDonagh May 2018
Guard the pawns,
Forward the rooks,
Center the knights,
Queen comes on a ‘coach,
Beware of the King [James]
Who can put you in check
With an ankle-breaker
You’ll not soon forget!
Basketball, like most other sports and recreation, has qualities of chess: fast thinking, sick moves...just watch out!
May 2018 · 1.8k
M.O.T.H.E.R.
Brian McDonagh May 2018
May God
Overflow love
Through you,
Hour after hour.
Every day,
Render love to a weeping-child world!
A Happy (belated) Mother's Day to all mothers and those who have any form of maternal status living and deceased!!  I know I'm late, but I wanted to post this anyway.  I know I could have done something aside from an acrosstic this time around, but an acrosstic can sometimes get to the heart of a word in a special way.
May 2018 · 195
How a Poet Listens
Brian McDonagh May 2018
As chatter evaporates,
The poet first-up begins to read;
As poetry speaks,
Ears listen.

And, thus, the fight for total concentration begins,
Closed-lips the discipline,
Whether the piece of writing
Can be comprehended by all or not.

Though minds may wander,
Ears still listen.
The reading continues
And the listeners position and budge,
Reviving a fixed concentration.

One has eyes open
Staring at the burr-burr carpet.
Someone else shuts their eyes,
Wrinkling them with a thinker’s strain,
Or is it thinking going on in that brain?

Another listener with head bowed low
Prays through the reading,
Asking for what line
To walk away pondering
Or what poetical form “stands out.”

A sincere ending,
And the room harmonizes hums,
The best kind of response,
For its noise reminds the reader
That there was interest at all,
Yet no vocabulary in the responsorial hum,
For a listening poet should know better:
An author’s poem belongs to that author’s imagination.
Not intending to pick on anyone in this poem; I'm just as guilty.  I just notice these observations from going to previous poetry-group readings.
Brian McDonagh May 2018
Though coming from imagination,
I don’t wish to impede on any income regardless;
But wouldn’t it be nice,
Across all identifications and statuses
And beyond an average allowance cap,
If anyone and everyone
Could be compensated more largely for living?

Paid by the hour
Upon rising from slumber.
Or given a salary
For doing some laundry.

How about a Jackson
Every time the dishes are scrubbed?
Or a score of Lincolns
When through with the school day?

Waited in line?
A Benjamin’s just fine!
Picked up the dry-cleaning?
A Grant has a nice ring!

If dreams can come true,
Why not this one for me and you?
Suppose money can't buy everything...or can it lol?
Brian McDonagh May 2018
Loss
Of
Virginity
Exclusively.
Hey, it's physically true in love.
May 2018 · 188
Unheard Music
Brian McDonagh May 2018
The music that plays back in memory
Becomes the better version of music aloud.
After all, memory doesn’t require a scrolling mouse
And clicking pad
To play back favored tunes.
When working or staring at a given space,
The music plays,
Yet no one else can hear it,
No one but the DJ, a Picasso
Whose playlist is creative art
From various artists.
There's always a tune that takes time to escape from mind.  The more I have a tune stuck in my head, the more prone I am to singing/humming it aloud lol.
May 2018 · 227
An Evolutionary Paradox
Brian McDonagh May 2018
Among a group of children, there is an adult;
Among a group of adults, there is a child.
I've noticed sometimes that, when being around other adults, there's always an involuntary sociological urge one might get to "act up" (if this makes sense...it's easier with a graphical depiction...which I hope can be seen from the poem/my lousy description lol)
May 2018 · 212
Semper Paratus Pro Omnibus
Brian McDonagh May 2018
The Coast Guard lives it,
But I take for granted
Being prepared.
It’s not just a task
That should be accomplished days in advance
Before having company over to visit.
Preparedness is an everyday,
Voluntary discipline
That requires a squinting mind,
A moving body, however mobile,
And open eyes
Ready for sudden changes
In the day.
Even a celebration is a preparation,
For festivities
Are meant to be shared
Because they are meant to arouse excitement
Concerning the amazing things that those absent
Might not know about
Or may not believe
If not for a sincere account.
Often, readiness is plainly living.
Keep in mind, however,
To not always expect the expected either.
Title adapted from the U.S. Coast Guard mantra, only with my own extension to the Latin words-to-live-by.  Literal translation: "Always ready for all."
May 2018 · 329
O[']Brian
Brian McDonagh May 2018
O Brian,
Why are you in despair?
The sun still shines behind the clouds
And you still inhale air.

O Brian,
Your life is in strife;
Despair your partner,
Exhaustion your wife.

O Brian,
What can you do?
Your efforts are empty,
The old still vanquishes the new.

O Brian, Brian,
Where’s your support?
Do you have friends?
Someone to court?

O Brian,
Your thoughts are confused;
One idea opposes another,
You are being used.

O Brian, Brian,
Take a breath;
Before you wear out
And collapse in death.

O Brian, Brian,
If anything is a guide,
Let it be unbounding
Until on true freedom you glide!
At least this is a third-person self portrayal lol.
May 2018 · 171
It's All in the Timing
Brian McDonagh May 2018
I should have known better:
The Catholic all-boy camps,
Themed with talks on vocations,
Never truly acknowledged prayer,
But the clock
And its ticking weighing all
With its cesium hypnosis.

“Regulars” expand beyond religious culture, though.
When I go to meet people casually or formally,
Regardless of age,
I am time’s pawn
That never understands when it’s time to end
Unless I want that time to end.
When I don’t like an event,
An hour can feel like an eon.
When I enjoy moments so much,
An hour is a blissful breath-second.

Due assignments,
Ugh! Perfect focus never exists then,
Only “****, ****, ****” in tapping my skull
To assess the situation
And submit a ******* draft, ******!
Don’t be late…too late,
The white rabbit’s time is on schedule:
I’m always late.
Time to start over.
Time's never on my side, I'll say that lol.
May 2018 · 178
Divided Unity
Brian McDonagh May 2018
We should see division as unity
Instead of unity as division;
If so, then we are there.
Peace engulfs life not when we all like and love each other,
But when we can pass by someone
And let them go about life
Just the same as you and I want space for our own journeys.
Maybe not the "best" way of putting it, but unity doesn't necessarily mean that we're all eventually going to think exactly the same, but understand better how others arrive at certain ideas, etc.
May 2018 · 319
The Cursed Day...Explicitly
Brian McDonagh May 2018
Not all things are perfect,
I am aware of that,
But there are days where I cannot seem to get by
Without soft-breathing in exhaustion
An “Oh ****…”
Or giving a “******”
A talking volume
When few or none are around
To scold me with their ears.
What, haven’t you heard “***” outside
Of TV sitcoms before?
Or "****" aside from around a college campus?
I still get reactions when these words are overheard
From my lips,
Though it’s my life,
And these words have a recurring frequency.
These words are not only a stress-reliever
For someone like me,
But simultaneously a linguistic culture,
A communicative temptation,
Yet also having a dominating expression,
Commanding no only attention
But seriousness.
Fine, do what you want,
Hurl my soul to eternal shame and torture,
But a “curse-ed” day is like a chimney,
Letting out the smoke
Of energy that powers my motivation and forwardness.
Sure there are words that shouldn't be used, but some words are used and, admittedly, I respect what's said, for I at least have a micron of why a direct language as such might be used...
May 2018 · 371
A Wedding Misconception?
Brian McDonagh May 2018
If each half of the duo is to the other a “soul-mate”,
How can death separate
A bond between souls that are not susceptible to biodegradation?
Tries to be proverbial, but I don't consider this original a proverb lol.
Brian McDonagh May 2018
New poems are great to write
But even previous writes still have lessons and meanings
That even the author didn’t quite uncover.

Downloadable music is efficient and convenient
When certain physical technology cannot be found
Or obtained.
Yet an LP gets a previous generation to see
That music from any time and for all occasions
Is just as much accepted
Than the “latest” or “most trending” iTunes release.

eBooks can act like a portable library
For those who love a good book, newspaper, etc.
But seeing many paged, hardbound or paperback books
Helps readers to remember the quantity of a collection
And the discipline of organization
Rather than having a tablet always ready for on-the-go
When sometimes the only place to go
Is a living-room couch or dining-room table.

Video games are quick-advancing
And the various virtual realms are eye-capturing
And free-from-reality.
But sometimes there are times
Unfocused from technology
That are just as much an escape from reality
Such as a walk in the park,
Biking along a mildly-breezy, clear-skied beach boardwalk,
Claiming front-row seats to a basketball game,
Or playing croquet, if that’s your forte.

Ingrid Bergman
Or Rod Carew
Even the old
Can rise anew!
Here's to my parents generation and to those of my generation who discovered previous trends and miscellaneous and love them still!
Brian McDonagh May 2018
Ever had those dastardly homework problems
Where either the answers were in a far-out stratosphere
Or you just couldn’t summon a strategy
To go about the problem logically?
What if I  j u s t  t o o k  a  p e….
Hey!  No looking at the answers!
Whack! Goes the “ruler” scepter against studying surface.
What did I do?
What did you do?
I didn’t know what to do,
And no one was around to help me.
But I knew where the answers were,
And I was flipping toward the index of answers.
Okay, maybe the index doesn’t tell me how the answer makes sense,
But I need the answer(s)!
Or else I’m here all day,
Wondering when I will officially finish
The chronology of academic problems ordered in the exercise.
It’s not like I’m taking a test, right?
I mean, it’s studying.
Am I the only one that has ever peeked at answers
Or gone astray in the school day?
I just want to know…
I don’t want to sit here forever,
Because I will not stand for this.
I don’t already have the knowledge;
If I did, I wouldn’t be looking up the answer,
And I wouldn’t be fully human.
Please let me take a peek!
Promise I’ll understand! Promise!
For if I can’t peek at the answer,
It’ll be even more of a problem unsolvable!
Lol this is how I felt even as a homeschooler...I'd be the one to force my brain to at least come up with a plausible answer before looking at the answer (for plain homework problems, not tests or quizzes of course lol!)  That's what I did for Calculus as a college student though, or else I'd be as lost as hell lol!  Hope this poem makes some watt of sense of what I'm trying to convey here as far as feeling doubtful goes.
Brian McDonagh May 2018
If even the smallest hint of lust is a deadly sin,
Then I already have my foot in the grave.
There’s no turning back:
The notion of *** surrounds my reality
And caresses my mind,
Rules my dreams.

*** toys with my manly nature:
Foxy cheerleaders,
Gentlemen’s clubs,
Attractive college students,
Glitzy pop artists;
Lyrics of seductive songs about pleasing arousals.

When the word “***” rolls off the tongue,
I am left fidgety and weak.
The most interesting ****** account, I perceive,
Is Eve and the serpent,
Given a serpent isn’t necessarily human,
And Eve wasn’t portrayed as slithering.
*** and snake fit together because of this tale in Eden:
The serpent flirts with Eve, messing with her ****** response
To a certain seduction.
Ssssssss! Says the serpent.
[When people hold the “ess” in saying “***” as a snake,
My guard sags as if my body readies itself for ***.]
Imagine the serpent hissing at Eve,
Winding slowly about the trunk of the tree,
As though suffocating the knowledge in the forbidden tree.
Its eyes glued to Eve,
Her naked body giving in not to the serpent’s verbal abuse of ***,
But to making mouthy contact with the taboo, savory pome sensation.
The serpent may as well have also added, “Don’t worry…God won’t know about thisssss.”
I know most poets are used to topics as such, but please understand that I'm not trying and do not intend to do any harm whatsoever here.  Trust me when I say I do not write like this often; I extracted these stanzas from a larger poem I wrote after an aggravating Sunday this past week so I do apologize; however, I post it because I want to express my own struggling reality...I'm not a holy innocent or anything, and I think, especially with poetry's help, this is, for lack of a better description, a "safe" medium in getting the point of my imperfectness across (regardless of whether this as seen as imperfect, natural, "eh", I've read worse, etc.)  Truthfully, I am a bit embarrassed in posting this and it's kind of a gamble at least to me, but I'll take the risk.
May 2018 · 138
JV
Brian McDonagh May 2018
JV
https://artsofthought.com/2018/05/01/poets-mind-an-interview-with-jamadhi-verse/

Supporting fellow poets; check out Jamadhi Verse on here!!!! :D
#voiceofpoetry
May 2018 · 161
Temperature Proverb
Brian McDonagh May 2018
Warm is a cold we become used to.
This length of poem inspired me from reading Lonely Peony's "Window." Be sure to check "Window" out if you can/are able! :D
Apr 2018 · 579
Impress Less
Brian McDonagh Apr 2018
Don’t love poetry
Because you’re on a hot writing streak;
Love poetry because you love poetry
And poetry loves you back
In all obstacles, times of staring into space,
And inspirational thoughts and ideas.
Love poetry because of the partnership
Between you, the author, and poetry, the bioluminescence
Of the literate ocean.

Don’t love life
Because you think you’re living the best one.
All lives are unique;
How troublesome it is
To consume time in chasing what only others
Can see and do accordingly.
Outside of being instructed,
Work, any kind of daily routine,
Create your own steps
Not by “hitting it big-time”
But humbly walking where you are
And embrace the sights right where you are
Because even the tiptoes of a journey
Lead you forward and allow you time,
Not for all views, but at least seeing one ordinary view
As glitzier than glitz itself.

Don’t love anything
If the reason you do is to impress anyone or everyone.
When you do what you do,
The truth will strain the ones who scoff
But leave you with the one(s) who see your heart
In what you do.
Live. Be open. Respond. Love. Stand your ground.
You’ll be surprised what or who comes around.
Trust me, written for me to learn from just as much!
Brian McDonagh Apr 2018
After daily introductions,
It’s over.
Nothing in mind to elongate the subject
From that person across the way.
Before long,
The only words left
Are puns to confirm the focus being tested.
“Well, I just bought a new car.”
Pun.
“My friend went to a party last night.”
Pun.
“I had sooo much work to catch up on.”
Pun.
Silence is also just as handy of a response,
But when people demand words,
Puns sentence them.
I don't want to unnecessarily dig into business that's not my own
and I don't want to steer off topic if I can help it...puns are the type of
conversational porridge that's juuuust right lol
Apr 2018 · 174
Chaplet Blues
Brian McDonagh Apr 2018
Prayer, meditation, etc. of the like
Can take place in any way, actively or passively,
Without the clasped-hand protocol.
Of course, I defaulted to that outward praying indicator
When praying with family,
To have some routine in prayer.

There have been many occasions
Where I had a mental layout of the posture,
Speech, and their timing.

Nothing compares to the times, though,
Where I would get “in-over-my-head”
In trying to “ace” prayer.

There was a time
Where my mother and us three siblings
Gathered for the Rosary in the family room.
All of a sudden, I emotionally broke down during the recitation,
Hiding my tears in the bathroom.
What caused my crying episode, you may ask?
The harmonious sincerity of the other three voices
Made me question my own voice’s worth
In that moment of spiritual practice.

Another emotional occasion, which would recur more often,
Would stir in me during praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet;
Only for this prayer, I’d stow away my feelings about how others pray
Or the nerve-tingling, almost surreal sincerity I’d aurally interpret,
Considering I matured somewhat by the time I started partaking in this chaplet
With family.

Even when I wanted to pull away from praying around 3 p.m.,
I persisted anyway,
Not just because I felt “it was the right thing to do,”
But because the Divine Mercy is my mom’s favorite devotion,
And I wanted to have something to share that my mom and I did
Later into the future of life.

Talking about my feelings, well,
Released my feelings from the inner confines of my focus,
But nothing necessarily “changed,”
Nor did I want change,
I only addressed that’s where my focus had been derailing
And why prayer seemed to scare me.

No doubt, this was [and, without mindful consideration, still is]
My own problem.

I have split from wordy meditation
To adopt and adapt to reflection and silence more.
But I cannot help but wonder:
Am I really prying spiritually now?
C’mon, I am and know I am better than that.
I know there are far worse scenarios, but it's a simpler part of life, and
I'd like to be respectful of anyone else's time just as much,
whether prayer or any other means of inner rejuvenation.
Apr 2018 · 123
Christianity's Dilemma
Brian McDonagh Apr 2018
Each week,
How can churches
Let the S[o]/[u]n shine through?
How blessed if the particular building and soul
Have windows of their own!
"The light of the eyes rejoices the heart!"  ~Proverbs 15:30
Apr 2018 · 193
A Disney Quip
Brian McDonagh Apr 2018
Until now, I never realized before
The beauty in the Beast
Or how Beauty is so beast!
Fun with Disney lol
Apr 2018 · 221
Jesus and the Tree
Brian McDonagh Apr 2018
The Easter story,
Known by many,
Is the inverse of the fall of biblical Adam and Eve:
What fruit was eaten
Of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil
Was reattached
On that same tree,
When Jesus was crucified,
When Jesus crucified himself,
When the tree crucified Jesus.
Jesus became the new fruit
That uneven bark could not hold for long,
Though, biblically, a tree be the Christian God’s creation,
How can the created
Hold its author?
Yet it was fulfilled
That Jesus, equally human in his Passion,
Bear the creation
That would keep his body,
But free his spirit.
For earth goes back to earth,
But, considering this story,
And that each soul is different,
Might all souls default
To their common origin hereafter?
One instance where artificial and nature intertwine.
Apr 2018 · 171
Sun Through My Eyes
Brian McDonagh Apr 2018
Lying in the car seat,
Head hairs smeared against the window,
Eyes shut in slumber.
The sun takes a bow
With its finale rays
That split through
Columns of trees alongside the road.
Though the inner, red-blue nervy scene of a forgotten blink
Serves as the eyes surrounding imagery,
The inner eyelids start flouncing
From a stronger pulse of red
Back to the darker internal hue.
The flashes of sun that zoom in presto tempo
Outside closed eyes,
Which can confuse dreams and dizzy focus.
As the trees make the sun blink,
Awaken to the mirages before the sun dreams.
When I close my eyes while riding in a car for however long when the sun shimmers, even if I'm in a deep sleep, I can somehow "see" the sun's brightness hit my closed eyelids and when it peers through trees, I become sort of dazed from it (not in a medically-defining way, of course).
Apr 2018 · 130
Ode to Poetry Month
Brian McDonagh Apr 2018
Let poetry receive honor
In every expression!
O Poetry, be the spirit of casual conversation,
The purpose for music bedecking your emotion!
O Poetry, let me find you everywhere:
Trees, people, oceans, buildings, the center of the earth,
Books and in the invisible amid the visible!
O Poetry, touch every heart
According to life events and direction,
According to imagination and creativity!
O Poetry, teach me,
Let me learn from you
And want to learn from you,
For without you,
I would be a self-poet internalized,
Letting thoughts loiter my soul,
Wandering and wondering
For a way out.
As I was begotten from a womb,
You, Poetry, as a mother, have always hewn my greater self
Out of my troubled soul.
Cheers, Ad Multos Annos, Hooray,
Here’s to Poetry!
Hooray for poetry, my abstract friend!
Apr 2018 · 195
"Un-Sung" Poetry
Brian McDonagh Apr 2018
Songs bear the light of poetry,
But, though Augustine states singing sprouts spirituality,
“De-compose” the composed
And read the words as though
Reading any other book, and feel the light of Augustine’s mantra
Heat before witnessing growths of ember.
Does not the meaning, rather than the importance, of poetry resound more at first glance
From reading in plain concentration
Than with music
That can steer attention to reaching the note
That staccatos along the textual truth,
That leads the mind in common-time land
Like a stone drumming along a still lake?
Is truth behind words important enough
To lay the foundation for impending music?
The truth sets free
Before a sweet melody!
I love me some music, but sometimes I get curious as to what I'm singing or listening to, and slurring sounds, to me, pose as a challenge to interpret the words trilled in emphasis.
Apr 2018 · 105
Perceive, Achieve, Believe
Brian McDonagh Apr 2018
Perceive:
Focus on the goal,
Plan it out in your mind,
And maintain confidence.

Achieve:
Win the match,
Make the game-winning shot,
And/or walk away with something greater;
Winners don’t brag,
Winners are those who hope in their time to come
Even after potential success.

Believe:
Remember that each has a time
To shine, to radiate.
For show? Not so,
But to discover
What was missing all along.
Early on, when I was eligible to play sports in a local league, it would be
hard to accept the scoreboard almost every game and team I gave my all to.
But, obviously, there's more to want than just a triumphant score...
Apr 2018 · 371
Word-For-[Another]-Word
Brian McDonagh Apr 2018
Talking is an art,
The more talking done,
The lesser the fear of talking
At all,
Whether alone, in front of close acquaintances,
Or toward individuals unknown
And nonexistent before.
Admittingly, talking can be overdone
Like chard stew,
And talking on top of people…
Well, it cannot be helped,
But no one will receive a Pulitzer for it.
Unless if a “good idea” sounds from one
And ices the agreement cake.
But beware of those ideas you wish to verbally patent
In front of a gathering,
For if you only wish,
You may end up falling into the abyss
Of a silence that traps not your mouth,
But your will to speak, evaporating your words and
Ideas that might have bravely forwarded discussion.
Vanity, thy name is Groupthink:
What talk might arise next
When no talk arose at all?
I was told once that I have the gift of gab and...well...that individual was onto something lol.
Apr 2018 · 264
B.R.I.A.N.
Brian McDonagh Apr 2018
Burning for truth
Running his mouth
Isaiah 41:10
Again, I try
Never to lose.
As if I can't write more about myself lol...let this be an excuse to pose an acrosstic poem.
Brian McDonagh Apr 2018
Not everyone can be an “every-one”
But I am one who wants to dip my hands
In many fields of life
So as to be an omni-aid “when duty calls.”
Of course, I don’t always know what I get myself into,
And may not consider that I could regret doing too much
Or find myself doing what I don’t want to do.
Generally, if I could, I would monetarily give
To every figure standing vertically still along main areas of traffic
Who always appear to be seeking some kind of recognition.
Not that I stare, but when my pockets lack coins or bills,
I can only offer a silent word behind the steering wheel
For the ones standing in search of hope car-by-car.
I love to write, so why not write to a soldier or someone who could use a note?
Because, alas, rules and regulations for companies intimidate my passion
To do good yet follow procedures.
With my loves for drawing, writing, cleaning, fixing, puzzles,
I know there’s a lot I can contribute,
Not speaking haughtily but in respectful confidence,
But it also can come down to who would be receptively interested,
How often I could commit,
And am I giving more than I’m being given?
If I can give until I cannot give anymore,
As wearing as this may sound in words,
What else would I need?
Apr 2018 · 214
Waiting for Patience
Brian McDonagh Apr 2018
It’s never easy for me
To live in the moment
When I foolishly push forward
To say I endured and lived certain moments.
That’s not what history is about,
That’s not what life’s about.
Yes, the more focus poured into the present
Can make the present feel longer,
Like waiting-in-line longer,
But waiting surrounds every breath
Of life. There’s no escaping that,
Whether it’s waiting at the DMV or waiting, literally in this case,
One second.
After all, does not the body wait
To finally be at rest,
Each day drawing the body closer to its rest?
I have waited for exciting mail to be delivered before,
Whether arriving to others as gifts or to me miscellaneously.
Trust is the key, trusting that the many processes
Will accomplish the goal.
So, what about now?
Please hold while your life is being planned for the next day.
"The blessedness of waiting is lost on those who cannot wait..."    ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Brian McDonagh Apr 2018
I’m for sure not a Barbara Walters
Or Bill O’Reilly,
But, sure enough, I have scholastic interviewing experience,
And I see it all around.
The questions I ask, the questions beckoned toward me
All seek answers,
Whether the questions are true and thoughtful
Or fillers that fog up the air.
At every meeting or get-together,
Whether casual, usual, professional, etc.
Words will be spoken,
And unless serious objections arise
Or more than two people are circulating verbal clauses,
You, my friend, could also be simultaneously under review.
Combining what I picked up from college over the last year with what I already know lol.
Apr 2018 · 113
Hollow Joys
Brian McDonagh Apr 2018
What I used to crave
Has now lost its pleasure;
I have dipped into the abyss
Of emptiness in life’s glitzy amusements.

I have access and power
To what had seemed far from reach.
Pity me! I take freedom for granted
Unlike those uncountable souls past
Who chiseled history to now.

Believe me, I have jested with struggle
But not for day-to-day freedom
Of choice
To grow my character.

I meet my carnal needs
So want flushes me
With the drive for more.
As if I can’t be satisfied
For a breathing moment.

No more do I receive
Gifts the same.
I know I will live for my birthday
The luxury of how I live
Taken for granted through the years.

Instead of indulging in the anniversary of my birth
I consider the significance of life.
No more is it a brainless fun
Where I ignore what I cannot see.

No more do I receive
The day in childish anticipation.
Eagerness exists still, but when it wills
To water the blood inside
My soul, a life I leave starving.

Road trips neither blast my pulse
Nor weigh as a burden.
I am only more familiar
With land connectivity,
Surprising my sense of location lesser.

Instead of looking at my belongings
With a thankful tone
I mumble: “There’s dust on this!
That takes up space”
And mourn the items
That enslave me to them.

“Can’t you be happy?” most retort me.
Yes, but growth shall have its share
Of struggle
Thinking this phase as death itself.
My interpretation of growing up.
Brian McDonagh Apr 2018
“We’re gonna move?!” was the plot twist
In the remake comedy “Cheaper by the Dozen.”
Never would I have thought, though, that in 2007,
In the family room of 170 Wildflower Creek Drive,
My mother would propose the idea of moving
To us three children.

The idea of moving was exciting yet scary to me,
Being still under double digits in age.
The split-foyer house had always been my default refuge,
Where I always felt drawn to, if ever distant for however long.
The closet under the split-foyer stairwell, the red basement carpet,
The flowery wall paper tracing the walls of the second floor.
Knees bent on the off-white couch cushion in the family room
Spying on our front yard and the rows of houses,
Which columned to infinity from what I could see.
Friendly get-togethers, a Super Bowl XL bash, birthday parties,
The Japanese Juniper rooted towards the up-slanted corner of the black-tinted fence.
Our backyard’s deck with stairs, all that I would soon have to desert
For what seemed best at the time.
A room to myself sounded like a luxury,
But a lot of times, when things seem too good to be true in life,
I ponder if any strings are ever attached, invisibly at work.

All that we owned that had any contact with the McDonagh name,
Except for what kept the house together,
Either entered storage for an interim period of house-searching
Or tagged along to the Sun Crest apartments off Route 11-South.
I never thought I’d see our basement’s two-door, internally connected closet
Emptied and spacious enough to make circular paths in-and-out.
I remember the night that my family and I officially rode away
From the neighborhood property.
The glowing heart of the house, the foyer’s brown chandelier,
Discoed yellow-brown, unshapely-stretched reflections of light
Through the indented individual crystal-like brown glass
That cocooned the non-majestic lightbulbs inward.
As our van and family pulled away from the driveway,
Like the south pole of a magnet from the north pole,
All I had left to offer the house that provided me shelter and memories
Was a “this-isn’t-fair” glance as I leaned my head in the back seat of the van,
Resting my glasses on the backseat window as if some magnetism
Penetrated the glass to remind me that bonds, whether in science or love,
Don’t break easily.

In the summer of 2008, my family and I made the best
Out of the small apartment space,
Though thoughts of Wildflower Creek still lingered.
Many distractions befell me, however:
My 11th birthday party that July, jogging around our apartment building,
Video games, other visits with friends,
And, I cannot forget, the many houses I had to explore in the area
Before my parents settled on one and were not outbid by others.
Even though today I would not mind touring houses,
My mind was a million miles away from wanting to foot around stairs and rooms,
Even though it was necessary.

By the end of August 2008, we collectively agreed upon a house
And had many close neighbors help us move into a new familial abode.
The postal address claimed the area to be part of Kearneysville,
Though on the outskirts of Martinsburg.
This house, bricked-faced with touches of burgundy,
Was favored according to the equidistance
Regarding most of our out-of-house activities.

Assuredly enough, I have well-acquainted myself with this location by now,
My eyes always wanting to look out my bedroom window
To see the array of the day: the appearance of the outdoor skies,
The apex of the Veterans Affairs’ chapel building,
The gray fence of our posterior neighbor,
Two slender black-walnut trees intimately planted next to each other.
The Veterans Affairs facility’s bugle blows always annoyed me every 8 a.m.,
But, 10 years later, that’s the least of my troubles and I rarely hear it anymore myself.
At this point, I cannot tally all of the blessings that have entered this house
And that have come from establishing new roots under a new roof:
Two Pittsburgh Steelers Super Bowl appearances, the dawning growth of my outgoing spirit,
My theatre premiere, encountering new faces, learning how to drive in the Quad Graphics’ parking lot, taking advantage of new activities, visiting places I never thought I’d travel to,
The loss of our dog Jessie (2004-2013), the gaining of our present canine companion Bailey (b.2012), the election of Pope Francis, my first paid job, the arrival of the 2010’s;
My twelve-year Upward basketball legacy drew to a close in this Kearneysville residence (2004-2016); the historical election of President Barack Obama as the first president with African-American roots; even experiencing higher education in recent months.
This Kearneysville house has provided more than shelter; in its expansive vacuum and detailed
Indentations where potential dust may cling, this house has provided me
With the rest I need to continue life;
This house has helped me see
The profound blessing of the simple, ordinary mandatories.
In this house, I have been taught and disciplined
To implement my stewardship, to care with my own hands and being
In the hope that this dormant structure will continue to provide support
For my family circle and those to follow.
Sometimes I have been out the door so frequently
That this house has almost become less of “home.”

The impending decade-anniversary of family, house, and life
May never match a Rosary’s decade,
But both are met as devotions of resilience.
As a church official said,
“Home is a relationship more than a place.”
However, memories or relationships can take place
Under ceilings.
How much harder, as years progress,
Might it be to change my default houser?
Thankful for a place of shelter each day, whether I formally realize it or not.
Apr 2018 · 117
I'm Serious!
Brian McDonagh Apr 2018
At a panel with only high-schoolers my age,
The summer of 2015,
I asked a question related to the topic of vocations,
But the response was humiliating:
“We’re all single in life” sayeth one, with accompaniment of bass laughter
In the background.
The only one not going along with the laughter was the questioner.

Why do people tell me to smile more?
To not be too serious?
To take a joke?
What I would do sometimes to show people
All of my character, from birth, to prove them wrong.
How easy that is to do
Unless I acquire useful thinking.

People have instructed me before
To relax, but if I did “lighten up” at those moments,
I’d fear losing touch of public etiquette,
And receive a verbal penalty from the ones who told me to unstiffen in the first place.

A reverend once told me that life is such a balance,
But how can I balance the “what-ifs” in my head
With what is and should be appropriate in accordance with time and place?

My “Confiteor” is that I am part of the fault
Of not taking people seriously;
As I grow, I arm my eyes, ears and nerves
That what I unexpectedly receive I do receive
With a slower reaction.

I often imagine myself approaching the people,
Fists locked parallel to my hips, if you will,
Who have picked on me, joking or not, for just being aware
Of my surroundings and courtesy toward public environments,
And unleashing loud, assertive imperatives,
Reminding them I am not a carpet to step on,
But a warrior-patriot prepared to defend and even make-believe reasons for the moves I make…And I’m serious.
I apologize if it sounds intensely vengeful; I don't intend that, but once more, add emotion to the seemingly unending pattern of people who might say "lighten up" to those who might tell me to "calm down."  It's annoying sometimes, but writing helps in easing things, ya know?
Apr 2018 · 721
Tribute to Dan Desmond
Brian McDonagh Apr 2018
You were much more than a church-goer,
Much of your history floated under my nose,
But I realize now and am honored to have known you.

You served in the Navy,
At the Bay of Pigs in 1963.
I also read through the names of people
Who loved you and continue to hold your name in high regard, in faith.

You were a loyal, local church attendee,
You were always willing to volunteer during liturgies.
The fact that you would talk to my parents each week
And, in future years, also becoming my friend,
Showed how much you loved my family,
Which made you family, regardless of the sporadic times my family and I saw you.

I’d always round the right
To walk into the vestibule.
There you’d be, not intending to harass,
But to make me laugh and see
Sundays as a celebration of community
Rather than a somber type of solemn atmosphere.

To me, you are an insignia of St. Leo church
Being one of the first figures I’d link to the parish title.
I also cannot forget how,
When I began wearing ties to church,
You’d wrap the tongue of my tie(s) in your grasp:
“Let’s have a tie party,” you’d chuckle
As I tried mutely laughing back in the sacristy
Where silence was enforced, but you challenged the norm
And went against the tide of rules, remaining true
To your person, being an example for me
As I struggle to, like you, remain true to who I am.

May the halls of everlasting peace
Welcome you, Dan Desmond.
In memory of a friend who passed away this past February.
Brian McDonagh Apr 2018
Often, I trick myself into thinking
It’s just a one-time feeling;
My, how I can fool myself
Into reconsidering my thoughts and feelings:
“What am I doing?”
“What am I thinking?” flow life’s inquiries.

I’m not a fool that I know I’m a fool
For speeding blood-flow in a beautiful woman’s presence.
Perhaps I can fake that I don’t notice
Or maybe say something for once.

Maybe about her hair
As it thickens, folds, threads, waves.
Or could it be a new style in my eyes?
Leave it to heart
To end up finding out.

Why do I stumble, my eyes?
And see what may divert my stir?
Don’t you see beauty in real-time, my eyes?
Such is pretend: imagery, photo-shopping.

See the royal richness before you, my eyes!
See the eyes across from you!
Open your heart, my eyes, to see that she, in her stare,
Has open her heart unto you!

She may blow a kiss; she may not
But her mouth is wonderful just the same.
Her lips say “Stay with me”
Without stretching to romantically whisper.

Could I hold your hand?
May I kiss your cheek?
I am simply honored to be
With you, a heart near to my own!

How I wish there was a way
To express love with more emotion;
For the idea, the thought drives me
To find a powerful way,
Such that I may let you know
You mean more beyond imagination!
More than they eye may fall prey to believe!

To continue my words to you,
May I play you a melody on the 88 keys?
To hear your voice hug the air
With an anthem that you love
An anthem that comforts and brings together?

As the rain might fall
I’ll hold you under my umbrella;
Your face shaded in half under its protection
Firing a pulsing launch of blood in me!

I am honored to be next to you
Breathing in a neighboring air;
Though a flower wilts when away from ground
I will not let such a blossom as you go parched!
You, a precious bloom, a luring beauty
Tell me what makes you grow and I
Will feed it to you, “amor mea.”

Why must I let the simple opticals
Distract me from the beauty I see?
She is attractive so; why must my mind
Break free and wander?
Such is my weakness; Love, you fortify my low energy.

Do not think, Love
That I come to you to remain alive!
No! There are many a vital aid
But I want you for more than your beauty
More than because you understand me.

I want you for you!
Listen, I do struggle mentally
To see your beauty all around
But you always see it in me!
Teach me! Be my guide!
Society restricts women, past and forward;
Remember, I am your equal
But as long as I am with you, you are
The better half!
I fault to fight the statement
But it’s truth, and I want to chase you
My reality, partner; my abstract; my truth
All in the same woman wonder!
The title is all in the Latin language, translating "All I see is the beauty of a woman."  Enjoy!
Brian McDonagh Apr 2018
During the years prior to high-school graduation,
It was never a “piece-of-cake”
To adjust back to reality. A.K.A. school, immediately following
Occasions, such as vacations, for any reason, or even ordinary weekends.
There’s also that event that took place during a “school night,”
Where the thought of have to “hit the books” the next day
Haunted my conscience amid focus and participation, as I knew
There never were many take-off extensions during the week.
I’d be one who tended
To stare out a window and fantasize
Of the arousals and feel-goods
From being around groups or plainly out of the house.
There were times where I’d stare
And picture still being with my grandparents in Pittsburgh
Upon arriving home from visiting them at their house.
On some Sundays, we’d host a family from our church
To watch football games, eat, chat,
And freeze-tag around the condensed square of yard
Shielding the Kearneysville property.
How could I have bounced right into school Monday
With thoughts of care-free run-arounds
And my loosened muscles on furniture while watching football
Still spinning in my head?
Is fun really a dream come true
Or is it a manipulative dream that speeds up during the good times
And slows down with the drags in life?
I’d even find myself adjusting to reality
Even if I were not the primal host at my house.
When either my parents or siblings
Would invite friends or other people distracting their attention to the house,
I’d always feel like I had the house to myself,
Their attention on the humane outlier making them invisible
And not focusing on my whereabouts or whodunits.
To me, stepping off the grass and back on the mud track of reality
Won’t always work the way it should,
Whether recovering from brief gathering events
Or rock concert trips.
I heard a Sunday sermon where the minister referred to humanity as each a “vacationer.”
Might that imply that reality is an effortful fantasy?  After all, don’t vacations require work too?
Some truth behind my being homeschooled lol.
Apr 2018 · 126
To Be a Mockingbird
Brian McDonagh Apr 2018
My originality, yes,
Can be overshadowed by who I
Resemble.

I assume positions and mannerisms
Like my dad,
I’ve been told.
The laughter, the cadences in dialogue
Similar on the paternal end, it seems.

Any mention of resembling Mom?
Not really,
Mostly the “like father, like son” interpretation.
I know I have Mom in me, though;
She even told me how I have her lips,
And my dad notices the excited energy Mom and I both have.
Time to break the norm:
I propose “like mother, like son”
For what I learn and have inherited from the maternal side.

I’m not just a mix of my parents, though,
I’m also a homogenization of those I encounter.

There were times where I would try
To emulate my brother’s life strength,
Letting words that try to haunt evaporate from memory.
Of course, when people advise me to “be yourself”
The truth becomes clearer as I experiment with ways
Of trying to escape the life-burdens only I can undertake
That mimicry only makes “me-me-cry.”

Sometimes I’d love my sister’s assertiveness,
How somehow the strength of her direct dialogue
Thunders when her mind is set on a course of action.

Too many instances
Where before friends my eyes become “copy machines”
Scanning what I see fit to scale, but unfit for me:
Folding my arms toughly,
******* my hands in my pants’ pockets,
Adjusting the cadences of my voice,
Adjusting the volume/tone of my voice,
Thinking I can think what others think.

How do I stay original, regardless of how I’m prone to change?
Well, at least I have one area of originality:
Who I’ve encountered
And where I’ve been
At uniquely arranged times fit for me.
I'm Brian, in nomenclature and expositions.
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