our quiet rooms
compartmentalized
like louis vuitton
to basic calvin kliens
secretly living the best
of our lives
under the stars
and each other’s tired eyes

As the storm rolls in it finds me in solitude
And provides me with rain to not be rude
For maybe then I will not be forlorn
But it can't wash away my lover's scorn
Therefore the drops do not benefit me
They are not sentient so I am lonely
Nonetheless there is comfort in the feel
The pour touches me and ensures I'm real
Unpleasant as I am drenched to the foot
Helplessly I admit I must stay put
There is no liberation from downpour
This is not my first I have dealt with more
As I lay on flowers I can feel rain
And wish that I could conclude all my pain

I wore a mask today
Plastered with bright eyes
and a big smile
It covered the face behind
pained and stained with tears
Most know about the mask
But would rather leave it on
than face the ugliness beneath
I'll pretend to be okay

My friend's not normal
He doesn't pick up on social cues
He's not a people person
He can't articulate his views

But today I had a rough day
Nothing quite went right
I just longed for the day to end
And bring me to the night

With tears welling all day long
Trying to keep them at bay
I wanted to be anywhere but here
But I had to stay

My friend asked me how I was
I answered with a sad heart
Simple and eternally optimistic
He told me "that's a start"

How could he know
That was what I needed to hear
To get me out of my slump
And get me into gear

I couldn't hold it longer
Tears fell from where I stood
My friend is not normal
And I think not normal is good

I love you so much
As you leave solitude grows
killing me slowly

Don't get me wrong
I love the Bachelor
and the Bachelorette

The getaways
The fun dates
the good looking people

But is it that's what's wrong with dating today?

Instead of worthiness
We're in it for the pic
what looks best on instagram
while inside we yearn for contentedness

But restlessness is what we're given
got to keep up with the joneses
we're afraid to let ourselves feel
for people based on status

Is it a twilight zone scene
can't be because it's around
from the beginning
ancient royals doing the same
but now we're in a modern aristocracy

So I'll turn off the Bachelorette tonight
I don't need fancy
I need supportive
and sweet
In it for the long haul
and loves me wholly
Miss me with the fake love
and give me the real

Fractured
Broken
I'm a puzzle missing pieces
doomed to incompletion
and imperfection
With no hope to be whole again