/hold me close and kiss me numb
under an empty star-filled sky.
breathe me in and exhale the ghosts of your past
let them go
I know we both have our demons but
baby tonight
tonight lets lay them to rest and dance
in a bed that isn't ours and let's make
tonight baby
no, let's make the rest of our lives baby
let's make love tonight./

He stands at the foot of the bed tall and strong
Looking intensely at my naked body as if he is figuring out a maths problem
but instead of numbers he subtracts clothes and divides my legs and adds a little bit of his soul, a slow pour of himself into me.
for I don't know how long, a minute? ten? an hour?
we become one body
one body rattled with pain and sweat and lust and ecstasy and desire and pleasure and him and me
us

he holds my hand, eager and tender when I need it.
And when we are done he smiles at me, tells me he loves me and
we both walk down the stairs naked to shower
not only our bodies but our hearts too
for you help complete mine

*** is just *** but this is so much more in every way.
you once said to me that
you'd had *** but you hadn't made love
i hope i changed your mind.

Hi.
You know better than anyone that I hate to be a coward
But I also hate confrontation.
You see I don’t see this conversation being any better face to face.
And after all, you know me better than most,
Better than everyone really
So you know this isn’t easy for me.
We’ve been through a lot together. Some good ups, some horrific downs.
But I think I’m done.
I can’t do this to myself anymore.
I can’t keep sacrificing myself and my happiness for you.
I can’t keep breaking down because of something you’ve said
Things you’ve made me do
You’ve worn me down, let me lean on you through my darkest times.
But I think I’m strong enough now to stand on my own two feet. I think I’m strong enough to let you go, to remove you from my life, for a better me.
We’ve been together so long now that you’re inhibited a steady portion of my life, but I just, I don’t think I can be this unhappy anymore.
So I’m letting you go. Setting you free. I can’t be what you need and I’m sorry.
I’ve slept in your bed of regrets and I’m ready to wake up
This is hard for me. I never thought I’d get to this place but I’m here and you can’t be here with me.
I’m not happy and I’m sorry
I don’t love you and I’m sorry
I never have

The place between your arms is where I belong
Falling asleep to some stupid cliched love song
We laugh, grin, then share a small kiss
A small free kiss in the dark.

The place between your arms is where I belong
I say I don't feel pretty and you strive to prove me wrong
Point out the pieces of me you say are perfect
And baby for you that's all of me.

The place between your arms is where I belong
That for thy right myself will bear all wrong.
We make love and poetry all in the same ways
For love with us is everything to me.

There are no words no expression clear
To express my love for you, my dear
So hold true the pieces of my heart
And so will I, my dear sweetheart.

“You’ve almost been ***** twice now!”
As if
It is an indication
Of my strength

and lack of it.

She says

everything

is currency

and I couldn’t agree less.

I get mad at you and it feels like storms brewing inside me
But you are not the cause
Merely an attempt at a sweet remedy
Sit still and wonder.
Know that I miss you and I’m not sure how
Or what to do with these emotions see I haven’t felt
Anything
In quite a while and this, well this is a tsunami when I’d hoped to start with just a
Wave.
Of clarity the storm clouds I wished would clear became stronger because now
Now
I can feel but it means I can feel sadness and regret and hurt and anxiety and missing you.
A lot stronger than
Before.
Know that I love you and what is more than that is that  
I feel that too now.
You make me feel alive but being alive does not just mean happy please
Please
Try and understand the madness and if you cannot please
Try and accept it.
For I want nothing more than to love you with this fire in my belly rather than be angry
Mad
Hurt at words you aren’t saying
Keep me at bay.
Keep me still.
Keep me calm.
You are my remedy
And being away is giving my time to think and see how ******* blessed I am and then
Then
I get mad and how
How can I treat this one this special one like he
Should know me when it’s been months
Of course he doesn’t.
At least he wants to learn.
Learn me each and every crevice in my mind every little loop of despair
And I wonder to myself now;
If I asked him what colour I loved
Would he know the answer?
Being away from you is hard when service means a shoddy good morning text at noon; a photo is a “look where I am today” and a call comes from the ****** phone box that takes my golden coins
But ******* I need your voice more than wealth so
I
Miss
You
And I don’t know how to comprehend it but my instinct is to push you as far away as I can stomach
So I can stop missing you
Quite so much.
So believe me when I say misplaced emotion betrays me and I’m sorry
I’m sorry
I’m trying  
I love you.
More than you know.