Can I tell you a secret?

I am terrified of death.
Think about it, before I was born,
How many lives had ended?
How many names were forgotten?
How many stories never made the history books?
So many people have come before me, and yet it is as if they had never existed at all. so many lives will follow mine, and will never know I was here.
Because even as they come to an end... the world will just keep going. Unhindered by the loss. She will not pause just because I stopped going.. no, Earth will continue to turn on its axis as She always has, without favoritism or prejudice. Unending and uncaring. And let’s face it, what have I ever done to deserve otherwise? What changes have I undertaken for the better? I have nothing to show, when this is all over. Undeserving of the immortality that memories create.

I have always advocated that we must push beyond merely existing. We must live. Unapologetically. With out hesitation or reservations. “To be the spark that ignites the fire within all we cross paths with.”
How foolishly hopeful that seems now.
I have become exactly what I despised.
Fallen into the lull that is stagnation. Hushed by the silence of acceptance and helplessness that has draped over my existence.
With no hobbies or goals to speak of I have seemed to lose the drive to burn like a flame. And worse yet, I cannot seem to convince myself that it is something I can escape, or that I should even attempt to break out of this trance.
I had fancied myself to be unique. Fearless to the rules that society has placed in attempt to squish us into the mold of complacency. When really, I have been fooling myself all along.
Right now, as I am,
I am not unique.
I am not brave.