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 Mar 2018 soaringllama
each love and i
like passing trains
whistling to each other
but never staying long
 Jan 2018 soaringllama
i think not speaking
is the thing messing me up the most
out of all of this

yes, i love you
i really really do
but i know i will get over that
it will take time and it will hurt like hell but i know i will

the thing is, you are my safe place
were my safe place
i felt as though i could go to you about anything
and you made me feel more comfortable than anyone else
you knew how to react and made it easy to talk
now i cant do that
and **** keeps happening
while you're the first person i think to go talk to when i can't
and i keep wondering how you are
you seem fine but i still miss hearing about your life

i miss you and i feel pathetic
because i'm having a hard time adjusting
and i dont exactly know what to do with myself
 Dec 2017 soaringllama
Jey Blu
Always message me if you ever need anything, advice, a friend, someone to rant to, anything at all, please message me!!
I've been through a lot of stuff so I'll be able to help you with a lot of stuff.
I will usually answer very quickly, within a few minutes.
I love all of you, even if I've never met you or read your poems <3
Message me anytime
 Dec 2017 soaringllama
My wildest dream is this
That I would mean to you
What you have always been to me
 Dec 2017 soaringllama
too many people
have asked me
what's wrong

how transparent am i?

and so i lie again
saying everything's fine
with a counterfeit smile
and eyes begging
for a cure
a cure to a seemingly incurable disease
a disease i like to call

i don't know
how to respond
to what's wrong
when everything
seems like the
truest yet
most painful
teammates, friends, classmates, coaches, teachers.
what do they have in common? seemingly nothing, but each of them has asked me whats wrong lately. honestly, i'm not sure what's right.
 Dec 2017 soaringllama
i know
 Dec 2017 soaringllama
i know you tried to commit suicide last year
we all knew
and i was there for you
i was the only one there for you
we all went through things last year
and our conversations were like medicine to me
i know they helped you too
but it's not the same this year
i wish i knew why
suddenly you don't sit by me in classes
you ditch me for your boyfriend more than usual
and your new friend
your new "best friend" to be exact
the girl neither of us liked
and the girl who goes through her "best friends"
quicker than anything else
and she'll drop you too
i know she will
i think you know deep down too

you don't text or call
or even send streaks most nights
i'm sorry if i did something wrong
i really am
and i'd probably be really happy again
if you'd simply forgive me
but in all honesty
i know it wasn't my fault
and i wish it was
at least if it was my fault
there would be a possibility
that everything would go back to normal

but it can't
it never will
and i'm sorry that i'm not willing to let it
but if i was to let it
that would mean i'd be willing to get hurt again
and i'm not ready for that

i just wanted to let you know that
i know you and you boyfriend are having problems
i know you don't deserve that
but i also know that i don't deserve to hear it from him
instead of from the girl i was calling my best friend days ago
and no matter what
i just want you to know
that no matter what happens
i'll be there for you
and no
i'm not saying it will be like the good old days
because it won't
and i would never lie to you

i'm still coming to terms with the fact
that it will never be the same as it once was
but the difference between you and i
is that while you're busy breaking me
i'll be ready to pick up the pieces
next time you feel as worthless
as i do right now
just a rant to get me through another less than mediocre school day
exerpts from a letter to my ex-best friend
 Nov 2017 soaringllama
Can you hear the violence
The bullets
the sirens

We can't comprehend how people die
Until it's right before our eyes

Here's a gift
A gun
For fun

People are exhausted
No more excuses
were losing

let's turn around
talk to the walls
they'll hear us out

I'm gonna go and pray because surely
god is going to hear me out
take away the evil
from their souls
I'm not so sure

not going to cry
not going to scream

can you hear it
wanna see it

lives are taken away
haven't you heard
the only monsters on earth
are the men pulling the trigger
to people's heads

next week it'll be forgotten
until next time it happens
so pathetic
Who wants me?
Who needs me?
All I want
      is someone
to dissect me
to discover my innocence

But nobody will
All I want
      is anyone

Nobody longs for me
the way I long
      for others.
Sometimes the way we handle worst pains
defines how we handle those best moments that comes.*

(c) ForgottenDiety
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