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soaringllama Dec 2017
you may feel like you walk alone
on a turning unmarked path
you might feel scared and weak
in a dark dismal tunnel.
But if you walk with mind clear
You will see the turns.
But if you walk with your head up
You will see the light at the end.
I always tell myself this but never remember it when I need to
soaringllama Oct 2017
Life is like a
beautiful sunset
Covered by clouds
soaringllama Sep 2017
I use to think I had it bad
And sure yea I've been through ****
But that's in the past
I use to write all sad
And sure yea sometimes I get gloomy

But that's over

Now I'm gonna write funny
Or at least try my humor is not good
But better then my rhymes
And I'm not in it for the money
No... no one laughed
It's suppose to be a bad rhyme
thats part of the joke
Oh... so my poem is a joke
Well you wanna no what
*It is a **** fine joke then
soaringllama Nov 2017
I hate asthma.
I don't know what else to say
I have tried to write my feelings
But they feel empty and meaningless
I can't put the tears from my eyes onto the screen
I can't tell of how much it's taken away from me
This problem seems so small
But to me
It feels
Just hate the fact that I can never be what I use to be, I already dropped basketball, and wrestling has sent me into terrible asthma attacks. I hate not being able to try my best.
soaringllama Oct 2017
I always knew
That someone
Would break me,
Just never thought
It would be me
soaringllama Oct 2017
The thing that shapes us
Is the thing that breaks us

The pain of the past
Brings joy that will last

From a fire
That can incinerate
Comes metal
With strength as a trait
Just remember it may hurt now, but it will pay off later
soaringllama Oct 2017
I wonder alone
On this broken road
It has no turns
No bends
It is only straight

I've walked forever
On this broken road
It's served no point
No goal
Only to keep on going

My feet have bled
On this broken road
I grow weary
Grow tired
No longer able to walk
On this broken road
soaringllama Oct 2017
On this ride
Up and down
Yet we never
Touch the ground
soaringllama Dec 2017
I am not one to admit defeat,
Call it pride
Call it persistence.
I just never gave up,
But recently that ended,
My body just stopped
My heart had died
No longer could I
Stop my own
I find myself giving up on stuff more and more. Recently it has been sports and I just feel lost because of it
soaringllama Nov 2017
Words that break you down
Voices that slow you down
Thoughts that hold you down

The doubt that will hurt you
Comes from the mouths of others
The doubt that will scar you
Comes the heart of friends
The doubt that will destroy you
Comes from the thoughts
You hold with in
Been telling myself I can't or it won't happen and when people give me weird looks I say I'm just being realistic. But they look at me weird not because I doubt myself but because I have never ever doubted myself.
soaringllama Nov 2017
Thanks for dropping by
We had a good talk
Shared a few laughs
Can't wait till we can talk again
Thanks for stopping by. Sorry if you got in trouble for talking to me.
soaringllama Dec 2017
I don't know what you do
But you kind words
Always give me a smile

I don't know who you are
Yet I look foward
To every poem

I don't know why
You leave a those comments
But I do know
That I'm thankful that you do
Thank you Libby for your kind words, they don't seem like much but they sure helped when I was feeling down
soaringllama Aug 2017
My friends say that I'm fat
And I act slightly taken a back
My phriends say That I am ph fat
That way its cooler
And I say I'm not fh fat
That I am phat
Which is some phucking *******
Fhucking is cool when fh or ph
And my fhriends agree
And my phriends agree
soaringllama Sep 2017
I try to be there
For my friends
Even with my words
I make it feel like I'm there
Make it like I'm holding them
I try to be that friend they need
Recently one of my friends told me I should be a motivational speaker and I brushed it off. But the more I think about it the more I realize they are right because I love to make words carry weight and meaning like poetry but poetry doesn't work that way for me. So yea if there is a hellomotivationalspeeches website I'd love to go there.
soaringllama Jan 2018
I take the cold walk to my car
Even when a friend offers a ride
I decline,
I need the walk
I need to think...

My breathing quick
My lungs stressed,
Head hung low with falling tears
So they won't freeze on my face.
soaringllama Nov 2017
Take a step back
Look at who you are
Think about who you were

What would you think
When you were young
If you saw yourself give up
If you saw yourself fall apart
If he saw you breakdown and forget
The fundamentals of being
Declan doesn't give up
No matter what
He spits in the face of defeat
Even when it knocks him on his ***
Declan doesn't fall apart
Even when the weight of life
Comes crashing down on him
Declan knew
He knew that every second of pain
Made him
I know I'm trying to write happier but just been kind of not feeling like myself recently
soaringllama Sep 2017
I know friends come and go

I know the ones you miss
Are the ones you cared about
I know the ones you fight to keep
Are the ones that were the best

But I don't know why
Friends leave
Without saying
soaringllama Oct 2017
I hate goodbyes
I really do
But I hate leaving even more
Especially without a word
But we both know our time is done
We've been friends
We've been more
And we've had benefits
I wished it wouldn't have ended
I wished we didn't drift
But we did
It's my fault
But It's time to say goodbye
And I truly mean it
I'm not going to message you just goodbye
Cuz that looks petty and seems *******-ish
So this is goodbye.
Old friend
I've tried my best to stay friends
But there is no try
Only do or do not
soaringllama Sep 2017
Here you stay
And break me down

Hear me crumble
And shatter on the ground

Hear my soul
Be ****** away

And here my body
Will always lay
Feeling failure *****
soaringllama Aug 2017
I hide my emotions because you wouldn't understand
   If you knew I had nightmares
You wouldn't believe me
You would talk about how carefree I am.
   If you heard that I am weak
You wouldn't listen
You would say something about my muscles
   If you saw how scared I am
You wouldn't think it was me
Saying to yourself how fearless I act

But I stay up at night because of memories of my brother
   I bring myself down and rip myself  apart for my inabilities and faults
   I am afraid of being vulnerable, and opening up because I've been hurt by those who love me

I hide among my new personality of strength fun freedom and bravery.
soaringllama Jan 2018
I take the cold walk to my car
Even when a friend offers a ride
I decline,
I need the walk
I need to think...

My breathe choppy
The weather attacking my lungs,
Head hung low in thought
of the pain I hold.

Why am I so bothered by my loss
Other people can't breathe,
But on that mat I felt it
My fear.

When I can't breathe
I lose all hope,
When my throat closes
I lose my power.

I was left there powerless...

Just those words break me
As I remember how I felt
When my brother cut me.
soaringllama Jun 2018
Anger for nothing
Just ****** and being an ***
Can't say why I'm

Stressed from little
On edge for everything I have
Can't stop my

Empty from this
Left drained from day to day
Never felt so

Haven't felt so
soaringllama Dec 2017
Every slide passes by
Showing a picture in my mind

Every image filled with shame
The body parts that I hate

All the thoughts hold me back
From all the gifts that I have
Sometimes I hate my body and not realize all the gifts I have
soaringllama Sep 2017
You hate the people
That reflect the weak parts of you
That's what I use to think
Your worst moments
Are the ones that you remember
At least that's what I'm told
And your biggest enemies
Are what shape you the most
That's what I learned

I can't tell if I changed for good
I don't know if I am getting better
I can see the lines are not parallel
But we may intersect

Is I true that my actions
Aren't mine
Is really just a mime
Of what I've seen
Could I actually
Be imitating hate
soaringllama Aug 2017
I stand among the forgotten
We move without a trace
We speak without a sound
Heard but not listened to
Sympathized but shunned
I stand among the few
Those who want to be known
Ignored when speaking
So we shout
Not seen when walking
So we stomp
I am a man
A man with emotions
soaringllama Jan 2018
I am tired of them saying,
"you'll get him next time"
"you almost had him"
"you were so close"

I am tired of seeing,
your eyes so filled
with **** pity
I'm afraid if I bump you
I'll get it on my clothes.

So *******,
you don't know what you say,
you don't know what I do,
You don't know how I fight...
And if you don't *******
You just might.
I'm tired of people and their ******* pity, if you cared you would help
soaringllama Aug 2017
What is the ultimate evil
Well pineapples on pizza
Where is that stored
In pandora's pizza box

What the ultimate evil for men
Talking about the deep stuff
And no guys not ***
The feels that we repress
That we keep
In our Mandora's box

No these feels are like pineapples
Some people are totally fine with them
And even share them
Though most people don't want them to

But sooner or later
You will come across pineapple pizza
And just like the feels
You can ignore it
But it's still there on the counter
And sure some could throw it away
But then your throwing away pizza

You could pick off the pineapples
But there is still that juice
Just like there is still that fear
When you talk even selectively about feels

Ok so just eat all the pineapples
No chance not for you
Not opening up to you
But you got to open up to somebody
And maybe they make the pineapples
Taste like a meat lover deep dish
Probably not but maybe
Just a little better
soaringllama Oct 2017
Words carry the weight
of their meaning ...

Too often
Words just drag
With the purpose
To hold us down

Too often
Words just float
With no meaning
They take up space...

But silence can't float
It can't drag.
At times
says more than...
soaringllama Dec 2017
I am defined
By the blood
And tears I've shed,

I was formed
By the pieces
That were put together,

I am not whole
Not who I was
Not what I want
But what I got,

I was made
Not made from clay
And a hand,
But from flesh
And a knife

Who I am isn't due to love
Who I am was caused by fear
But that doesn't make me less
It makes me more,
I should remember that
I came from pain
And have made it far.
I've been ******* myself. Thinking about what I'm not and what I should be rather then what I am and what I have done. I have been forgetting all I have accomplished and that I have done so much and it's been making me feel hopeless of doing anything meaningful;
soaringllama Oct 2017
Me making a mistake
Then trying to make
The best out of my mistake
soaringllama Aug 2017
I use to chase sanity
Thought it would bring happiness
But now I've embraced crazy
And all the stories we bring

I use to strive for normal
Thought it would bring friends
But now I've pursue weird
And all the jokes it brings

I use to wish for silence
Thought it would bring the better me
But now I embrace the noise
And all the imperfections I bring

I still dream for love
Thought it would bring peace
But I still chase that dream
And all of its foolishness
soaringllama Nov 2017
My heart pounds
My brain races
My eyes dart
My fingers twitch

Every part moves
Every move helps
Me deal with these nerves
soaringllama Nov 2017
She sits and cries,
She cries and waits,
She waits for someone,
Someone to help,
But no one comes
No one helps,
She waits as she cries
She cries as she sits
Next to a boy
Who sits and cries.
Sometimes we get stuck in our own problems and just wait for someone to notice, we get so stuck that we don't notice others.
soaringllama Dec 2017
Ever since I got asthma
I feel like I've lost part of me
Every time I run
Every time I lift
My lungs break down on me

Ever since I got asthma
A part of me is stuck in the inhaler
No mater how many puffs
No matter how many breathes
It will always be there
This was in my drafts for awhile so I said whatever lets publish it.
soaringllama Jan 2018
I take the cold walk to my car
Even when a friend offers a ride
I decline,
I need the walk
I need to think...

My breathing haggard
Lungs struggle for air,
Head hung low with defeat
from the match I lost.

I was doing so well
Till my breathing stopped.
My chest had stiffened
My throat had closed.
I knew this was the end
Just like it was the games before.

I walked away in shame,
As coaches asked what happened
With no breathe to explain
Why my body gave up,
I lifted my hand
Deeply shaded in purple
soaringllama Oct 2017
I can't get over my mistakes
They follow me on a chain
That I pick up and drag...
I want to drop the chain
But I can't, my hands are empty
Because they it's held by my brain
soaringllama Jan 2019
I have returned
Can't say why
But I can't sleep

Tried to just write simple
Tried to write and leave
But no
I'm a teen
So I take hours deciding on words
To make me seem edgy
To convey anxiety
**** it.
It's 3 am
I don't have time to form my thoughts so I'm just typing I guess for attention
Wow great self awareness
Wait what was this about
Oh yea
I'm back.
I think
May just be for a night.
******* brilliant writing... ****. Can u (more ellipsis) ninja turtle
soaringllama Aug 2017
I'm really bad at counting to six
soaringllama Sep 2017
A man with no eyes
Can see no evil
We wish to be him

A man with no heart
Can feel no pain
We strive to be him

A man with no soul
Feels no remorse
We wish to be him

A man with no pride
Can feel no shame
Well either way
We will feel no shame
Sometimes I get ****** and see a solution and don't realize the consequences of said solution.
soaringllama Dec 2017
When words can't aide,
Tears are made
soaringllama Dec 2017
I use to check on you
Even though I said I was done
I hated it
But I needed to

When I did stop
You had just left my mind
I was content
But then you dropped by

I didn't mind our talk
I actually enjoyed it much
But you left so quick
And now I'm back
To shamefully
Glancing by
Arg... I got to stop being so concerned
soaringllama Oct 2017
I look like I'm stable
Like nothing can move me
I look like I'm steady
Like nothing will shake me
But really I teeter
To every word I flinch
But really I totter
To every change I break

I'm Unable to balance
My emotions and all,
As I sit alone
On this teeter totter.
soaringllama Oct 2017
We all dream of victory
We all strive for the best
But we all fall short
But we all face defeat
We all have nightmares
We all get broken
But we all are strong
But we all get up
Because we will keep on dreaming
Because it's that or give up
Thoughts... feedback.
Trying to be more positive
soaringllama Oct 2017
My plan has worked
                      Nobody thinks I'm emotional
                                             I got what I want
                      Nobody know I'm broken

    But now everyone thinks
That I have no feelings
    But nobody knows
That I need some help

                 I got what I wanted
                  But not what I needed
                 I got what I wished
                   But not what I hoped for
soaringllama Oct 2017
Why can't you get over it,
It was two years ago,
It was only a month,
And you're the one who left,

Why can't you leave me be,
You just can't stand me,
Can't take my smile,
And that makes me smile more

You don't understand do you?
I don't hate you,
I hate what you do,
And I love to hate you.

You think you can **** me?
Try I dare you
Send your boy
And then find a new one.
My ex is still being crazy, last year she got caught sending an email to her boyfriend asking him to **** me, now her new boyfriend is asking about me. She been flipping her **** for weeks, and I know whats going to happen
soaringllama Oct 2017
I don't know what to do
I don't know what you want
I can't stand this up and down
I can't stand this up til now
I won't care if you leave
I won't care if you stay
I have changed for the better
Have I changed for the better?
soaringllama Oct 2017
Looks and charm fade
Personalities change
No one is the same
soaringllama Aug 2017
I wasn't born this competitive
I was forged
Because they strongest metals
Are forged
In the hottest flames
I still feel
The heat of the forge on my skin
Pushing me
To be better then everyone
Pushing me
To fight unwinnable battles
And sometimes
I make it out alive and stronger
And sometimes
I barely crawl away with my life
So the forge
Fires up again pushing me to hate
And the forge
Makes me resent those who are better
Til I can't stand
Being around them or knowing them
Til I can't stand
Doing something I can't win
So the forge
Turns off and makes quit
So the forge
Crumbles onto me and I'm crushed

I wasn't born this competitive
And this lust for victory
Is what's holding me back
From being the strongest I can be
soaringllama Oct 2017
What if I was never stabbed
Or my brother was normal
Well I wouldn't be emotional
Well I wouldn't be scarred
Well I wouldn't have an ex
Well she wouldn't want to **** me

But on the other hand
I wouldn't have me personality
Well I wouldn't be good at speaking
Well I wouldn't have written poetry
Well I wouldn't have had a tiger llama thingy
Well I wouldn't have made friends

But again
I wouldn't have beat up my brother
Well I wouldn't have betrayed my friend
Well I wouldn't have lost her either
Well I wouldn't be emotionally confused
Well I wouldn't be trying to fight everyone
soaringllama Mar 2018
I have a drive
But no start

I have words
But no pen

I have a fuel
But no heat

I have a desire
But I have excuses

I have the ability
But no effort

I have what I need
Except for me.
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