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It would not be for want of words
that I regret but my reckless superfluidity
I pour them out in mindless torrents
betraying their trust and blemishing their purity--

hushed,  silent, solemn, reverential
I should learn to be in this my journey
perchance the Grand Council of Words some day
would grant me a second chance to write poetry.
 Jan 2018 G Rog Rogers
Cné
Climbing on the bus
Not looking forward to this trip
But it meant so much to her  
And how could I predict

That it would be her last hurrah
Before she passed away
Just one year ago marks
The anniversary of that day

It was an annual trip, with her twin
They took to different cities
With a group of old church folks
They called themselves
“The Traveling Gypsies”

As it turned out to be
My last fond memory
Of my mother and her twin
Before they were stripped
Of all their memories

Alzheimer’s was their reward
They gave it quite a fight
Bed ridden in their final days
Until they saw the light

Who's to say how it will end
Or where that place will be
A gutter in the streets of life
Or home where it should be

So as I sit and contemplate
These moments I recount
I think about the road ahead
And how I’ll make it count
My mom and her twin sister both had Alzheimer's. My mom was significantly more progressed than my aunt's. My aunt acted as my mom's caretaker long after we had them both moved to a memory care facility. They both did well there for about 6 months. Then my mom became aggressively depressed and crying all the time. At that time, they both had a bad sinus infection at the same time. My mother recovered but was still crying and complaining she couldn't breathe. However doctors could not find any ailments in her. My aunt ended up getting pneumonia. While in the hospital they discovered and diagnosed her with stage 4 terminal lung cancer. She died 4 months later with the last month being bed ridden, hardly eating until she was nearly only bones and on a breathing machine. My mom and her twin were always connected in the weird twin way ... knowing things between them, beyond normal comprehension. We all believe my mom knew (not in a cognitive way but in her own twin way) before diagnosed that her twin was going to die. None of us expected her to live much longer than her twin. They both had long life forces even crippled with cancer and Alzheimer's. My aunt Lorea (other mother) died Oct. 27, 2016. Up until that point my mother could still walk, talk, eat and recognize me and my siblings. However after she lost her twin she could no longer walk requiring much more individual care. We moved her to a residential home care facility. They worked really hard to try and revive her willingness to live. It wasn't a conscious choice to give up because with Alzheimer's your brain doesn't work right. She lasted less than 3 months after the death of her twin. It was heartbreaking, to say the least, to witness. I rejoice her being reunited with her twin and my father and free of the confinement of Alzheimer's but I'm still working through the finality of it on the earthly side. Growing up as a child of twins is a blessing of having two moms (one being the cool mom ... the mom you could tell anything to .. knowing she would know how to explain it to your real mom in a way you couldn't bring yourself to do) and a sister cousin, my aunt's daughter. I had an older sister (10 years) too. So in my case I had three moms I love dearly. I am grateful to still have my sister.
 Jan 2018 G Rog Rogers
Cné
Moon
 Jan 2018 G Rog Rogers
Cné
immersed in the sea
a sphere of passion glitters
as the tide appears
 Jan 2018 G Rog Rogers
Cné

Meet me in my dreams tonight
Where love elopes and hopes fly high.
Where songs of truth are sang to thee
This night alone to set us free.

Meet me in my dreams tonight
Where fate abounds in your design.
We’ll tell a tale of ecstasy
To fill this void from you to me.

Within my dreams, in you - I’ll wait
To find me in this abstract state.
Together time is out of reach
This surreal moment belongs to each.

Within my dreams, for you - I’ll find
That hidden escape within our mind.
We’ll banish all worry and cut all strings
That keep us from joining and fleeing on wings.

Within my dreams, for you - I’ll be
Forever yours eternally.
The one real place we can feel alive
Where all our fantasies live and thrive.

Meet me in my dreams tonight
Within this realm as we collide
Hold on tight ‘fore dawn of light
Both far away and out of sight.

Meet me in my dreams tonight
This moment I’ll treasure of timeless flight.
Where thoughts unfurl and feelings entwine;
Where I am yours and you are mine.

 Jan 2018 G Rog Rogers
Seema
Vows
 Jan 2018 G Rog Rogers
Seema
For better or for worse I will always be there
Thank you for your love, thank you for your care
I promise I will be good in all ways
For you are my world, you bright my days
In pain or in sorrow, in happiness
I will be by your side wading out any sadness
For you my love, I give you my all
Whenever you need me, just dial a call
I am blessed to have you by my side
Oh yes, you ignite my soul being its guide
The trust I have in you shall always remain
As my past was full of regret and pain
I promise to love you till death do us apart
You are the one that rules over my heart
Every breath I take, every move I make
Every thought that strikes, its you I take
You are my start, and you are my end
For God has blessed me to take your hand
Here my love, I give you my vows today
I will always love you like I do on this day...

©sim
Fictional write.
 Jan 2018 G Rog Rogers
Seema
I want you to:

Protect me always
Even if you are away
Always call me
Cause you are mine to be
Everything else doesn't matter, you see

I come with peace:
                                 Personality
                                 Education
                                 Attention
                                 Care
                                 Everything
I just want you for me...



©sim
 Jan 2018 G Rog Rogers
Seema
He looked weird
With his long beard
Seems unshaven for many years

Walked like a turtle
With a shiny armor like metal
Hung around his neck were cups and kettle

Swagging with baby like steps
I heard Tip-a-tip-tap
With his walking stick and a whitered cap

I watched him from far
Away from my car
Hip-a-didal-do why you stare like am at a zoo

He mumbled loudly like a roar
From a lions cage somewhere at the core
I kept my pace to see him more

A small man perhaps a dwarf
Making his way towards the near wharf
I decided to head off

As I turned to go
He startled from behind
Saying Sip-aa-say-so

Leaving me speechless
With no clue
Of how he got me out of the blue

He taped his stick
And sat on a brick
He totally looked sick

I said "hello"
He replied "ello"
"I am a weird fellow"


He looked away
Far to the other way
Got up and started his weird song

Tip-a-tip-tap Tip-a-tip-tap
With a say of little
Here I see a cat in the middle
Whose with me...Whose with me
With cups and kettle
Sip-aa-say-so Sip-aa-say-so
With nowhere to go
Hip-a-didal-do Hip-a-didal-do
I have no clue...


©sim
Creative writing. Fictional write, spilling imagination.
 Jan 2018 G Rog Rogers
Seema
Forgotten was I,
Unnoticed in everyone's eye,
Everything I did for anyone;
They only seem to say goodbye,
I wonder why people tend to lie,
Am I the only one with this feel,
Trying to let this torment heal,
Of why people are good only from outside,
And so reckless rusted from inside,
No one to walk by my side,
Left alone for me to decide,
Of how I should let myself go,
But no one surely understands me, so
I have made myself a deal,
To be positive and work for my meal,
Diverting my negative vibes,
So it doesn't affect others lives,
With positivity I feel a glow of aura surround me,
That's all to everything I probably just want to be...


©sim
 Jan 2018 G Rog Rogers
Seema
He doubted me
Then he shouted at me
He blamed me for
No reason
And told me I change
Like season
The person who loved me
Like there was no other
Left my side for another
He said I was expecting
Too much
With kid like attitude as such
This was not a valid reason
To break up like this
But it was evident that
He would never miss me
Ofcourse as the other
Had taken over my lover
My place in his heart
Was no longer his part
He spilled out my love
And let it drown off like
A helpless dove
When I pleaded with sorry
He said not to worry
As some other will fill in
His absence in my life
Upon my broken heart
He left me shattered
To him,
I no longer mattered
He has found a new bloom
That scented his room
Once owned
Now disowned!


©sim
Totally fictional.
 Jan 2018 G Rog Rogers
Seema
Splash
 Jan 2018 G Rog Rogers
Seema
The splash of water
The ripples slaughter
Throwing my anger
In a pool of water...

©sim
#thoughts #anger #feelings
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