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is it completely wrong of me to say
i'm tired of being in love
with only one person?
growing up is supposed to be fun,
but what if you feel
all of that fun
is passing right by your window?
is it selfish to stop building
what i've been building for a year
to start from scratch on something
i'm not even sure is real?
When you’re driving to the house of the only person you love and the only things standing between hurting them and keeping them safe are the words under your tongue and the time it takes to get there, your own life suddenly becomes unimportant.
Not once in my life has suicide been a thought that I would actually consider. But when you’re driving alone and it’s raining and the person you would do anything for is going to despise you in a matter of seconds and you don’t even blame them because you hate yourself too, it becomes an option. I am screaming at myself from inside this machine that only I have control of and I remember whispering, “do it. You deserve to die.” I have never hated myself a fraction of the amount I did in this moment, and for the first time in my life, the only thing stopping me from destroying everything I had ever become were the people I had already hurt. I decided one stab wound was enough.
I look around a room full of strangers and wonder how many of them send pills down their throat every morning just to feel normal, and how many of them are strong enough to deal with their ****** up minds on their own, and how I am not.
it's sunday morning and you wake up early for him.

you sit in a building with a bunch of "good people" and you know they're good because they're in the same place you are.

you listen to a man or a woman speak your words for you except they aren't your words.

you come home and you sit on the couch and you read your little book full of what you say is the "truth" but you don't actually know.

you change the station because what's entering your ears isn't about him and in his eyes that's a sin.

you get angry when i call you religious because it's "not the right term."

you tell me i'll never be happy unless i introduce myself to a being that doesn't even exist.

you watch your youngest daughter do what makes her happy and you sigh in disappointment.

when will you learn?
 Jan 2015 Tyler Durden
Mitchell
Soon
 Jan 2015 Tyler Durden
Mitchell
I made the effort from the train
And hit the platform
With my right foot first and then
My left.

The sun streaked through the rafters
Down onto the pavement, warming the hair on my head,
My skin, my face, my lips.
There were people everywhere only paying attention
To themselves and their things.

A train whistle erupted. I jumped.
A tall man, thin and grinning, laughed. He tipped
His cap to me. His shoulder leaned into the chipped wood
Of a café's doorway. People were struggling to get through.
Old men leaned on their elbows through the bay window
Sipping coffee whose steam curled up into their wide nostrils.
I figured the tall, thin, grinning, laughing, leaning man
Owned the place. He was such a presence.

He said something in French and reached out for my bag
(I think he was trying to help me carry them)
But I waved him off and revealed my watch,
The universal sign of "I am very ******* late".
The tall thin man stepped back, laughed again, and
Continued to lean on the doorway blocking traffic.

I trotted down a flight of stairs
And then up a flight of stairs, turned a corner,
To only go up another flight of stairs.
The arm holding my bag was numb while my breath
Was as short as the midgets I came upon on the street once
I had exited the train station.
They were juggling bowling pins,
Singing Edith Piaf's "Padam Padam".
Their voices were not very good, not well-trained,
But the sight made up from their vocal cords.

I dropped my suitcase in the taxi line.
The heat of the sun and the thick smog of cars
Washed over me like paint.
The sounds of the city brought back memories.
I stepped forward.

Soon, I would be home.
Soon, I would be in bed.
Soon, I would be with Him.
Soon, I would be as close to love
As I could get.

As I could ever be.

As I hoped I ever will.
 Jan 2015 Tyler Durden
Jo King
I can't be in the same room as you
Why?
Because my breathing quickens
My pulse begins to race
Red paints over my cheeks
I just want to walk up to you
To touch you
Feel your heart pulse under my hand
Trace my fingers on your skin
But I can't...
Because I can't be in the same room as without shying away
 Jan 2015 Tyler Durden
WickedHope
the rim of your beer can
tastes like your stale cigarettes
I don't know... It happened, so I wrote it.
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