I'm trying to be real
But you wanted me fake
So let's go on pretending.

I am air
You are fire
Careful, careful
I come over unannounced.

Your flowers of May
     are not as enticing
     as those of my January.

It knows
    no domain, no!

Just tell me
   that you want
   to marry me
   only when you're
   really ready.

Not now,
   when both of us
   are still twenty
   young, and
   supposedly free.

I picked you up
        when she locked you out.

For once I thought
         we were so high in love,
         I was your princess
         and you were my prince.
        
But all of a sudden,
        it came to my senses
        that you were still not over
        with a love within you
        that was long ago existed.

I was left with no choice
        but to endure the pain
        because a love like that
        is something I couldn't
        compete with.

And now, you locked me out
        I'm nowhere to be picked in.

Sent my tear-stained shirt off to the laundry
Nothing else more to worry
Sleeves would be as bold as of an army
Collar's persnickety like the majesty
Cleansed and free from insanity
No traces of crumples and folds
From any of your memories.

I was lost into
   a place I've never been
   where both the mighty and wicked
   hide their true guises
   taking two steps at a time
   trying to chase my soul.

She envied the way
He talked to the saleslady
Asking her for a pack
Trying to charm her in every way.

She loathed the way
He used to puff smoke from his mouth
Smiling at the passers-by
In front of the hallway.

She hid his ashtray
In the bottom of the top drawer
He searched for it
From corner to corner.

She went away
Carrying her suitcase
Never left a word
When she knew
He had found the ashtray.

She’s gone for a week,
But three knocks came
From the front door
He thought it was her
But it was never.

She wrote him a letter,
The mailman said
Handed it to him
Along with an urn.

She said in the letter
She breathed
Every smoke he blew
And now,
She turned into
Like that powder in gray
On the ashtray.

As the skyline alters its guise
From the lively azure
To an idle whitish hue
Which ended into
A mournful shade of gray
Like the shade in films of retros.

A frightening sound,
A roar from an angry beast echoed
After every glowing zigzagged lines
Which I thought he drew.

Louder it went
Like drum rolls
Of an ill-staged concerto,
But uglier it turned into.

Haunted, I cupped my hands on both ears
Crept under the covers
And wished it all away.

I am not alone now every 2:15 a.m
You meet me somewhere in between the stars and heaven
We tell stories without hearing our own voices
Or tell stories without seeing the twists on our faces
Once, we've thought we're only fooling ourselves on April first
But the rest of the twenty-nine days proved it was never
Not lying, never fooling, only falling to infinity until forever.

How well did you
   bring in some kind
   of sweet sorcery?
That one of a kind
   which drifted
   my soul
   towards yours.

How well did you
    unconsciously paint in
    some kind of magical hue?
That one of a kind
    which decorated
    a rainbow
    to this seemingly
    real-time inferno.

How well did you
    create in some kind
    of spring wonderland?
That one of a kind
   which woke up
   the lifeless butterflies
   in my stomach
   to take off for
   its next flight
   but never in solos.

But how well did you
   come from the stars?
Those stars
   which I still couldn’t
    fathom further into constellations.

And somehow,
   you did calm
   my wildest
   wandering thoughts
Reunited
   my scattered love visions

I keep secrets
I hide pain
I bleed silently
I die each day
Nobody asks if I'm okay
I cast perfect pretense
I curse
I plan revenge
I smile
I'm born again the next day.

I found you
    beneath my wings
    as I soared against
    the tricky wind.

I met you
    when our whispers
    seemed to harmonize
    with broken strings.

I spoke to you
    like I've known you
    for a century
    or two.

I wrote for you
    in words
    to be read
    between lines
    with rhymes.

My uninvited guest has left me chest bombs.
He still lurks around the neighborhood
frightening us every now and then with no
known pattern unlike the whereabouts of a serial killer.

My uninvited guest knocks never from
the front door or the rear ones but tries to pound under
the floorboards shattering every home, stirring hopes.
He destroyed facades, detested our faith.

My uninvited guest has come once upon a time
turning the sunshine morning sight
into a shaking mourning scene. And up until now,
I still rush to the doorstep not to welcome him
but to run away, run for my life.

Between the uncertainty of life
And the approach of death
Put strong faith and consistent prayers
To shield against
The unpredictable up and down motion
Of the angry earth
And, we have survived.

You were as blurry
As the windshield
Of that passenger vehicle
I rode on just this noon
When I’m coming home
And I've waited for your text message
And I kept on looking at the screen
Hoping your name might appear
With you saying
You missed me so much
But it didn't happen
And it rained so heavy
The wiper’s dysfunctional
Causing the driver a hard time
Tracing down
The slippery road.

Your tan skin
and your curly hair,
I miss
the tingling sensation
they create.

Your eyes
and the curve of your lashes
as they gently pull down
every time
my palm touches
your cheeks.

Your hands
and your fingertips
warmth mine
when you wrap
them around.

Your green
or blue-green shirt,
I think you have one
because green
used to be our favorite.

Your red sneakers
that you often wear
and the way you walk
along the corner.

Your big bike,
the highway,
the rain,
the passing vehicles,
the cold wind
and the drive home.

Your bonnet,
that grey
with zebra-like skin weave
that perfectly suits on you
because you love bonnets
and I think I love bonnets too.

Your guitar
which you and I
both had it played
on the third of the first month
when we’re on the seaside
and it was a Friday
and it was your birthday
in particular.

And I did sing you happy birthday twice,
first over the phone
in the middle of the night
and second on the seaside.

And then, we kissed
and we laughed
and we told each other’s story
of how we fell in love
and I said,
“If ever you break my heart,
I will close my door to anyone.”

So that would mean you’ll be my last
but my tongue is of a fortune-teller
and what’s going on so far?

I've been strolling for an hour along the outskirts of this sad empty town. My stomach grumbled upon the smell of the hot sweet corn cob sold at the nearby park. I hadn't eaten breakfast.

I see a lot of people at the park. There are street sweepers, lovers, and children. I stare directly into their eyes and they signify a common thing. But I can’t seem to describe it immediately. All I know is that I know they weren't happy.

One little girl playing a ball with her brother caught my attention. I always see them here. I know they are happy. They are laughing. The boy tosses the ball into the air then the girl catches it. Sometimes, she runs after it when she misses a toss. Then suddenly, the ball came rolling from her. She had a hard time chasing it. So I run after the ball and luckily I made it stop by blocking it with my body before it can completely reach the street. I’m also afraid the girl might get hit by any passing vehicle.
 
I guess that was a great leap. But I wasn't hurt at all.

Then the little girl picked up the ball and went back to playing. I was still there on that spot where I made the ball stop. I look around to see what the others are doing.

To my surprise, the little girl suddenly came near to me. She smiled, and then chuckled. Her cheeks were turning red as she gradually patted my head. Then the boy took something from their picnic box and later joined us. He gave me a half-eaten sandwich. I heartily ate it. My hunger was then satisfied. I barked twice as a sign of thanking those kids.

“Good!” the boy said as he was touching my back too.

I thought I would be having playmates this time. But the kids have to leave soon since it’s already lunch time. Their mom might be waiting for them.

Then they left. And I was left there at that park where I usually stay during day time. I see different people come and go.

I remembered one time when I met *****. She was so cheerful. We were playing for a couple of hours and soon she needs to go.

The next day, I wake up to the loud voices coming from business people having conversation about investments and sales. I hardly understand a thing about their talk. But I know they were arguing about big amounts of money. I know about money. They are pieces of paper and small circular objects which strollers used to buy food in the park.

Since I have no idea what those two people are dealing with, I just hopped and landed to the ground and ran away from that bench which they were situated.

Why do people keep on arguing about big complex things? This is a question which I can’t seem to answer. I have been living a simple life. My daily routines have never been changed since the day I made this park my home.

As I was running away, I bumped into someone. He was a frail old man with a wooden cane in his left arm. Our slight collision almost made him trip and fall to the ground. But he kept his balance, probably because of that cane which aids him in walking. I too kept my balance. Then, the old man stooped to sit down on the humid grassy ground. I was just there in front of him.
 
“You, little one,” he whispered in a monotone.

I was feeling a little bit of excitement upon being with this man for some moments. He talked a lot about his son named Abe who was taken away from him by the government because he can’t afford to sustain his needs. His wife too met another man while working abroad.

An hour has passed. A little girl suddenly came running near to us. She was Ashley, as what the old man introduced to me. I thought I’d be having companions for today but Ashley only came to fetch the old man because she was looking for him since yesterday. And soon, they left.

It’s always like this. I get to meet someone or some other people but then after a short moment of having enjoyed their companies, they would then leave. I know they have their own homes and lives to attend to. And they wouldn't be wasting their time to some ordinary being like me.

I wished of leaving the park, move to some other place and maybe hope that someone would like me and bring me home. But I guess there would be no one. And I, would always be that same hopeful park dog.

Whispers from deep voices that seemingly deteriorate;
We chorused into the thunderous sound of that old cello.
Not a harmony we could ever create,
This is not what I intend, everything turned askew.

That old pendulum is swaying to its usual way,
A resemblance of our long gone grieves
It was an affair crammed with dismay.

But darling, you've got your demons now;
Down to the age of your throwbacks, stupefying you every now and then
And here I am, still that vigilant somehow.

The double six tragedy was indeed an epic.
Distance, silence, timing, all falling into an illusion,
And yes, that was your treacherous scheme, making me even more frantic
But life never stops there, in the end there would still be an affirmation.

The depths of my despair are gradually fading away.
My downfall, my shortcomings, I've familiarized them already.
Any wise words could never ever blow a gun on me,
Preach to me not, nothing would matter really.

It was like a century of pure sentiments;
You will be haunted of my innocence and silence.
Discontentment will creep back to you as if it were a consequence
Run to your hideouts now and bid farewell to your merriment.

Shuffling yesterdays and tomorrows that may fall into a fusion;
Have you pore over yourself and have your own evaluation?
Oh! My dear old friend, I guess you haven’t.. it’s just safe not to mention.
And for a conclusion, that’s why you've made that quick decision.

Well said, well done and my emotions enslaved me for an instance,
An avalanche of good and bad memories flashes back without any nuance
But, fearless, I am this time and ready to embrace acceptance;
Rejection and motivation that is definitely a balance.

A blue sky, I’ll paint and maybe world peace, I’ll create,
You will soon notice me like fireworks with just a free spirit
Midst conflicting egos before anyone could speculate,
I’ll leave my mark, a highlight, and that is how I’ll operate.

Memories,
Nothing but just an old trick.
The past,
Crammed with both agony and fear
Dignity is condemned from the outwitted.

Memories,
Nothing but just a recurring nightmare.
The future,
Hindered by unresolved guilt and shame.
Misfortune shadows the pessimistic soul.

Memories.
Everything that tells your history.
The present,
Judged by the notorious in disguise.
Faith is your only guidance this time.