I wish i knew the words
to heal what you feel
Sometimes it's hard to understand
something so real
Like when Jack and Jill
went up the hill
to fetch their pale of water
They were only trying
to find ways to live a little longer
I wish i could see her
hold you in her arms once more
Come on momma
I don't want to see you cry anymore

I breathe to take in
what I can’t feel
Oxygen doesn’t linger
The dioxide fills
Likeminded individuals surround
They keep the place interesting
And my soul sound
As I try to search
for what I can’t feel
I close my eyes and listen
I know what I see isn’t real

Neutral
Can that be a feeling?
I don’t know
it’s not happy but its also not sad
It’s almost like nothing
I do see spurts of happiness
but also see spurts of sadness
So I guess I’m defining it as neutral
And being stuck in neutral
is also kind of like a car
You sometimes drift little forward
You sometimes drift a little backwards.
But most of the time
you stay in the same place

There was a time where everywhere felt like home
I found home in others
By actions, words and gestures
Then I would find home in places
By the familiar cherry wood my dad used on our first house
Or the bluestone that also lay by the gardens
Or the melodies my mother played and sang on the Young Chang
New places and people were never a problem
I always knew how to find a home
Until I met you
I realized I had been living in temporary homes
Now nowhere feels like home
I can't find the path to the ****** gardens
I can't smell the fresh wood
I can't hear the melodies
Did they disappear?
Did I stop looking or listening?

Ash was there, filling each groove -
Making it impossible as a space to use.
I searched for a device to clear my vice,
But could only see ones with others lips on their device.
Come to find, this one is mine!
But as I turned to clear the ash once near,
My gaze caught me by surprise.
The ash was clear!
We could settle here,
But there was one point I felt insight.
I could’ve used a device from another -
To clear the ash once near.
But I searched and waited to find my own,
And my patience brought me here.