when people are in love
they often say
they simply fell
tripped over their own two feet
face forward
and into the arms of their beloved

i did more than simply fall
onto the ground of your love

you, for me
were an ocean
and i dived
headfirst
roughly
harshly
almost painfully
into the waters of “you”

i knew i could not swim
but i did so anyway
i was drowning
entangled in you
surrounded by this being of “you”
engulfed in this feeling of “you”

and i did not know what came over me
but i let myself drown
i did not try to swim back up
because if i went back to land,
releasing myself from your grasp
that would mean losing the feeling of “you”

and after
submerging into the depth
the love
the passion
of “you”

how could i ever leave?

I'm lost in this world
Looking for signs
Searching for clues
Treading each step that will lead back to you

I'm losing you
Piece by piece
Heartache by heartache
But now here we prove that a broken heart's meant for two

I'm losing us
Little by little
Word by word
But I hope you come back while I keep coming after you

Maybe one day you will see this
And probably know it's for you
Of all the loves I've ever known
You were my most true

Some days I feel  everything at once
Some days I feel nothing at all
I let my thoughts consume me
I let everything consume me
Whatever that I do is wrong
Even if it isn’t wrong, it can’t be right
I’ve let everything pass me by
I do not seize opportunities
I don’t not make decisions
I just let things be
I just let things happen
I just let things come
I just let things go
I guess I’ll never be free
Never free from this
This deep water with crashing waves
I see a shore ahead and I try to swim as fast as I can
I dive back into the deep and dark waters because the violent waves scare me
But, the darkness was a shade blacker than black
I couldn’t breathe underwater anyway
It was useless
I either be on the surface
or,
underwater
But neither were those two things a way out.
A way out so that I can live
It was actually a way to die

I kept chasing
you, as if
you were
a distant dream.
But dreams
are not always
dreams.
Sometimes, we have
nightmares too.

It is hard to dream of you at night
Yet not see your face at all in the day
I desperately need to hear your voice
But when we talk I don't know what to say

I'm tired of living life like this
I hate waking up knowing you're not there
I'm still madly in love with you
But you're too happy to notice or care

I just want to call you again
And tell you how everything is wrong
I wish I could let my feelings pour out
I miss you and it's so hard to be strong

It doesn't matter what I do
Or where I go, you're always on my mind
I'm stuck in the past, I can't move on
I'm not ready to leave this behind

I don't want to be with anyone else
I forgive you but I can't forget
I had the best year of my life with you
And I'm not angry, just upset

I ask questions that have no answers
Why did this have to happen to me?
What did I do to do to deserve this?
Who is it you want me to be?

I've tried to be enough for you
But people can't change overnight
And I'm starting to realize
That with you I'll never win the fight.

One moment I think I'm still special
And the next you prove that I'm not
You used to text me all the time
Now I'm just an afterthought

You're not afraid of losing me
In fact it seems like you're doing just fine
It's clear you don't need me to hold or kiss
I wonder who will be your Valentine

I'm alone this year and memories
Twist tightly around my bitter heart
The empty space beside me is just
a reminder that I'm still torn apart

I know that this sounds pathetic
But I cry whenever I can't sleep
I count the days we spent together
Instead of numbers or jumping sheep

It's embarrassing but sometimes
I talk to myself in the mirror
I tell my reflection all of the words
I want to stammer that you'll never hear

I'm longing to feel your arms around me
No one has ever mattered this much
I love how you light my skin on fire
I hate that I'm sick without your touch

I despise the girl I've become
Begging for your warm affection
I fear that despite my best efforts
I wont ever achieve perfection

I wouldn't ask you to be different
I accept you for who you are
In my eyes your flaws are beautiful
I love and appreciate every scar

You're not the person I fell for
You've changed but I still feel the same
Even now you have the power
To drive me crazy just by saying my name

I'm holding onto what we had
Although everyone agrees I should let go
Friends ask me why I can't move on
I just shrug and say "I don't really know"

My bed is too big and cold these days
My head is bursting at the seams
It hurts to sleep alone at night
But at least I have you in my dreams