Today wasn't like any other day.
Today is a special day.
Today is the day
...That I forgot about you for a moment
...That I didn't care
...That my problems seemingly vanished
...That my wrongdoings were forgiven
...That I made new friendships
...That I mended old ones.
Today is a special day
Because,
Today is the day that
I was finally
Set
*Free.

nearly 2am calls on the topic of young and reckless love that what was once lost - now found
this love, the beholder another one who shall remain unnamed — faceless as of now
love, she traces on the back of her hand in the same manner he did just the other night
the stars unfolding in front of both pairs of eyes, the ones he put up in the sky for his maiden
refund love, an old flame rekindled by warmth and something more
the lost girl accompanied in the woods by a face she’s grown to love dearly
neither of which will find their way out of the darkness that envelopes them, their presence keeping each other company
young and blossoming love, left grow into something beautiful if untouched by the gardeners

love is such a silly thing isn’t it?

he’s going to shatter you like porcelain in his obvious ways but who i am to comment on a tale just out of my reach?
maybe i’m mistaken, maybe i’m just awake at 3am thinking of a reason, an explanation
memories bottled into pills are hard to swallow when they contrast ever so brightly like neon against the pale reality
of what could be, had been and never will be

don’t get me wrong, i’m delighted for you as you’re crowned in all your splendour as glittering rays of light dance on your skin
you’ll find yourself smearing on lipstick for somebody else as you continuously lose the person you’re staring at in the mirror
like a harsh and bitter bite, your downfall will teach you to never love again


and i am afraid.

I hate this feeling. The feeling of being empty. The feeling of loneliness. Feeling that no one will ever truly love you for who you are as a person. Feeling that your never gonna experience real love. Feeling that you're never good enough for anyone. It ***** you know, feeling like no ones meant for you, feeling like your gonna be alone for the rest of your life. Feeling that you’ll never find someone that truly understands you. I'm sick and tired of all these temporary relationships.
I'm tired of being ‘in love’ with someone for only two months and then being let down in the end. I'm tired of it. I wish I couldn't care less about being in love with someone and  I wish I could stop worrying about finding someone. But love doesn't work like that with me. I'm hopeless. Its so stupid, you know?
The idea of love. Its pathetic. I honestly wish it never existed sometimes. I get so lonely. And it kills me slowly and slowly each and every day. It gnaws at my insides, tearing me up piece by piece. But no one knows that. Because on the outside, i'm cold. Heartless. Couldn't care less about love. But on the inside, that’s what I crave for the most.
And no one realizes that. No one does. Its funny because I can tell why someone acts a certain way around people and I help them through it and i'm always the one who's there for everyone because i'm the only person who can listen to them and truly feel empathetic towards them and can help them.
But when it comes to me its like no one even tries because they all think I don’t have problems and that I never get lonely and that i'm so strong but in reality i'm not and i need someone too but there's no one there for me because like I said, there's no one meant for me and I don’t know i'm just so so very lonely and I need someone but there's no one there but myself. So the only thing I can do is what I've been doing for the past nine years now: take care of myself, without anyone else. Because its just me, and **its always gonna be just me.

Falling for you was just too easy.
Smooth words, late nights.
Enough to make a young girl cry.
I fell for you a bit too fast.
I'm not too sure how to make us last.
Cause if I fell so easily.
And you knocked down my highest walls.
How am I to know it's not just me?
I feel the heartache setting in.
Bracing myself for crashing down.

Excuse me sir, but
"Heartbreak" isn't metaphor
It's physical pain.

One day a strong feeling rose,
it's time, to her I should propose.
But as fate chose,
I met only remorse.

Had written her a song,
which she found all wrong
As my eyes looked at the letter she tore,
'I want to never see you again!', she swore.

The pain was such, it was impossible to take
the pain of this horrible heartbreak
It felt as if she plunged into my heart
a ****** wooden stake