The voices,
Always there,
Singing their song of death.
I try to escape
It’s evil intent,
But it’s relentless,
Their song.
It’s beautiful tune
Draws me in
With it’s never ending melody.
I can’t get away,
And I don’t think I want to anymore.
With its encouraging words,
And it’s perilous ways,
I couldn’t resist
Succumbing to its dark seduction.

Who’s going to save me
When I’m saving everyone else?
Who’s going to save me
When I cry myself to sleep at night?
Who’s going to save me
When I have a blade to my wrist?
Who’s going to save me
When the voices are screaming in my head?
The answer is nobody
While I’m out saving others,
Nobody is helping me.
I’m drowning
In the dark thoughts
Full of despair and darkness.
And with no one to help me,
I might as well succumb
To Death's sweet song.

You constantly belittle me
You constantly insult me
You constantly make me feel weak
Every little thing you say
Strikes deep in my heart
The heart can only take so much
Before it just shuts off
But you want that don’t you?
You want to see me fall
And break
And just get out if your way
Gods it hurt
Someone who I loved as a brother
Started to bully me
You know things about me
Those things you promised never to bring up
Then you go and do it
In front of my parents
My friends
And the school
Do you know how that feels?
It makes me want to die
The fact I can’t even keep a friend
That won’t betray me
Makes me feel so SAD
And ANGRY
Everything you say
Just adds insult to the injury
You exposed my darkest secrets
My biggest fears
And my deepest passions
All for what?
To humiliate?
Shame?
Destroy maybe?
Well you succeeded
You hurt me
Your broke my trust
You made me stone hearted again
And I HATE you for that

It’s 2 am
And I can hear something
I make out the voices of my parents
Yelling and screaming
I **** awake,
And listen to their “conversation”
I know they are fighting about
Something Trivial
I just cower under my bed covers
Knowing I will feel the backlash in the morning
I can hear their fight escalate
I can hear the things they yell
“You’re useless”
“It’s all your fault”
“Why don’t you just leave?”
I know the answer to that one at least,
They stay together for my siblings and I.
I just fear the day when they finally realize
We are adult enough to handle a divorce.
I fear the day they realize
We aren’t enough to keep them together
I just fear the day they acknowledge
The growing gap between them

I break down when I am finally asked how I feel.
No one has asked in years.
I’ve kept it all
Locked up inside
So no one can see
How I’m truly breaking.
I’ve never felt good enough
To be part of this world,
I self harm in the least obvious ways,
I try not to show anything,
For fear of being weak.
So when I was finally asked how I feel,
I cry for the first time in years,
I let out my anger for life,
My grief for those who have been lost,
My sadness that no one cared,
My happiness that someone finally noticed,
Then when I’m done,
I look up and say “i’m fine”
I say thank you,
And walk away.
I feel refreshed knowing someone cared,
Even if it was common courtesy.
Though I’m still scared,
Scared someone will see
How broken I am on the inside

She stands alone,
Looking out the window,
Seeing the other kids her age,
Playing and having fun.
He stands in a crowd,
Surrounded by others his age
Feeling alone
Staring at the girl all by her lonesome.
One isolated,
With no friends,
The other surrounded by others,
With no real friends.
One day they meet,
Bumping into each other
On the way to their respective activities.
They immediately feel a connection
And they no longer feel alone.
They get to know each other,
They start dating,
They get married.
And when they die,
They know they won’t be alone,
Not anymore,
For they have each other.

I miss the days when
I could speak without judgement
I miss the days
When I could run around,
Carefree
I miss the days when
Everything wasn’t complicated
With the things going on in the world
And how much it changes,
It’s going to start to affect people
Terrorism and shootings have become common
And no one blinks an eye at it
Treaties are being made and destroyed,
With all this going on,
I just wish the old days were back,
They were filled with laughter and joy,
Not depression and self-loathing
Those days were filled with wonder
Not complicated and downright horrible
But I know,
Those days are behind us
And they may never happen again,
At least I have the memories of
Simplicity and happiness

This is for all you parents out there.
You say that you hate hypocrites,
But go look in a mirror and see the real hypocrites.
Maybe you will see the real reason why we,
The kids,
Hate your rule over us.
You tell us to do things,
Then you don’t do them yourself.
You tell us not to lie
But what are the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny and Santa Clause?
You tell us not to curse,
But guess where I learned
Most all the ones I know.
You tell us to never tell you no,
Yet that's all y’all seem to say to us.
You tell us no dessert before dinner,
Yet you get to eat brownies all day long?
You always have the exact same excuses,
“I’m older than you”
“I can do what I want”
“You don’t understand”
Well you want to know what?
That doesn’t matter.
All it did was teach me to be like you,
A hypocrite.

I was broken
After you left
I was doing my best to cling to life,
Even though I knew you would be back,
To knock me down again.
I hear you coming back
I can smell the reek of spirits
From the place I dubbed my sanctuary.
I hear you climbing up the stairs,
With your heavy footfalls,
And I brace myself, to be shattered tonight.
I meet you at the top of the stairs,
Not wanting to ***** my safe place.
After all is done,
Here I lay,
Completely Shattered,
From the hands of someone
I once loved.

Anger
Sadness
Frustration
All falling down my face
In a foreign form called tears
I look up
And listen to the reason for these tears
I hear them walking away
Until the only thing heard
Are my cries
I pick myself up
And get back to work
Wondering when these foreign things
Would make an appearance
Once again