I see nothing but torture
Nothing but the dark
Alone
I hear the sound of violence
It rapes my eardrum
Causing deafness
I feel my heart beat against my chest
My mind fills with thoughts
Of evil deeds
They want me to do
I refuse
I close my eyes often
But the pain of not seeing is
To much to handle

I can smell him on my sheets
      I can taste him in my dreams
             I can still feel every inch where he's touched me
I hear his laughter echoing in the walls
             I can still see him in all these pictures I saved for
           memories

But this bed is bare
My dream's a nightmare
       I can't hear
             His laughter
       He's not near
             Enough to touch
My eyes are blinded by tears
He's killed my senses,  
      I'm no longer aware

Everything around me,  slowly fading away
His face, his scent, his laughter,  his touch
Maybe I'll just pop a few pills and sleep away the day
At least he's in my nightmares, the pain of reality is too much

It's not you
    I promise
What I say is true
      He never deserved
           You

     It's not your fault
           I know for a fact
      Trust me
             You are better
          Than a boy like that

It's for the best
       Please,
    Believe me
          He'll do it to the next girl
       And the next
            And next
      You'll find your one
          In this world

        It's time to breathe
             Have faith in what
          I'm saying to you
      This might just be
                Poetry
          But I was cheated on too

It's time to believe
      You're worth more than
   You can see
           No more tears, please
      He's not worth your pain
             You're gorgeous
       And you're NOT to blame

     It's for the best,
              It's not you
          Please,
    Just Breathe.
          Believe me,
  Cause I've made it through.
         I know,
      What I say is true.
             Cause
         **I was cheated on too.

If you accidentally
             fall out of love,
Do you just dive
                back in head first?
           Feet first??
                     Eyes closed???
        Cannon ball????
             Or
Do you walk away
       Cause you can't swim
And you're scared to death
                   of *drowning?????

If I spoke louder,
Would you listen?
If I raised my voice,
Would you hear?

I know you only yelled
because you wanted to
make it more clear,
because I couldn't understand
that I was only hurting myself.
But please don't be so loud,
It makes you sound like him.

Silence is so ******* loud
And I cannot stand the
oppression of the voices
Screaming in my mind.
At least when there's sound,
I don't have to listen to
My mind criticizing myself.

Et maintenant
Ma vie est une petit morceaux
De quoi cela devrait être.

I’m ready
Written with the help of the opening lyrics of
Bad Company's "Ready for Love"


“Walking down this rocky road”

Pebbles stare like boulders
Detouring my thoughts
Blocking motions to feel
Curbed by jagged ridges breathing

“Wondering where my life is leading”

Checking the map for intersections
Wanting to find some sense of truth
Written on an overpass
In graffiti spray paint dreams

“Rolling on to the bitter end”

Following the signs
Watching my sneakers tear
Exposing flesh to the elements
Of wandering longings

“Finding out along the way”

That things don’t last forever
But where the shadows sit
From the lost, the new
Are waiting in the cool shade telling

“What it takes to keep love living”

And I listen, learning which each painful step
Dragging my emotions behind me
In a knapsack of desires
Whispering out of breath

“You should know how it feels, my friend”

It is enlightening, burden lifting
When I finally realized
Someone is waiting at the end of that road
For me because…

*“I'm ready for love”