To the next girl I will Love.
I’m so sorry you have to deal with the mess that is me.
I don’t know how you got stuck in this position, but you must have the biggest heart.
I bet you have a way you look at me, that makes me smile.
And not the smile that I give to everyone to make them think I’m happy, but the genuine smile of my happiness.
The one I’m always embarrassed to say that I have, because I have a weird relationship with my smile, but you make me overcome it because,
You make me happy. Truly happy which is rare for me.
And I’m sorry for all the baggage I come with, I tried to check them in at a hotel, but they said that they only took one bag per customer.
I know it’s not your responsibility to carry these bags, but while I work on bringing them up to the room can you stand next to me?
Can you be there while I make a fool of myself trying to unpack and sort them?
It’s just that when you’re with me, these heavy bags suddenly become weightless, and I feel like I’m the champion of the world.
Although I may feel like the champion, I know it wouldn't be possible without you,
The true champion that is you.
But while we smile and unpack these bags, can we throw some away and furnish the world we’ve been given?
Together we have a chance at shaping the world as we see fit, so I see no problem with turning it into the world of our desires.
Why live in this place if we can’t make it our own?
We can turn it into something that we can both call home.
And even though I am a man living in a patriarchal world.
I am a Black man.
So at times I’m always on edge, never getting a chance to lay and be relaxed.
Together we can make a place where when we lay our heads down, we can both feel safe knowing that the other is near.
And that world can’t hurt us.
Eden is what we can call it, but neither of us are known to eat apples, so there will be no snakes allowed.
I bet if I look back to see how we started it was something embarrassing.
I probably tried to talk to you, but could only get a few words out.
I bet I was so nervous, because why would someone so amazing like you give me the time of day, especially when we live in an age, where time seems to be the only thing that matters.
Somewhere along the line you took pity on the poor soul that is me, and again,
I’m sorry that you have to deal with me.
I don’t always know what to say, or the time to say things, or when not to say things, or what to do, but you still stuck with me.
I can’t promise a lot except that you will always have all of me, nothing less and everything more.
It’s the least I could do, and even then I wish I could give you more.
I wish I did know what to say at times, I wish I wasn’t a nervous mess, I wish I felt like I deserved you, but I will always think you deserve more.
Again, I’m just a mess with a mantra of trying to do my best.
But never for my own sake, I do it all for you.
The future we dream of, the adventures we shall go on, and the world we shall see.
And yes, there will be hard times, nobody ever said Love was easy.
But together we can do it.
Why should the world stop us, when instead we could shape it?
Through the pain we’ll get stronger, our bond strengthened, and our Love tested so much it’ll be unbreakable.
To write of Love is sometimes complicated to me, but I take a step back and think of you, and all the words I need come to me.
Every adjective, noun, vowel, seems to come to me once I put you on my mind.
It gives me the power to pick up a pen and never let it go until everyone knows of our Love.
Loving you, is like a videogame for me.
My earliest and best moments of life deal with them.
I remember my first video game.
I picked it up and had no idea what I was doing.
But I continued to work on it, never giving up until eventually I got it.
And I kept getting better and better each time I tried.
I got stuck sometimes, but I never gave up.
I kept trying until I got it right.
I’m not the best, but I’m dedicated to seeing it through till the very end.
Bitter or sweet.
Hard or easy.
Long or short.
Now I look back at all the poems I’ve ever written. And although they all aren’t addressed to you, I feel like they were all for you.
Practice for trying to find the words to show you that I Love you.
And when I hold your hand, and refuse to let it go, it’s because I’m scared that I’ll never get the chance to hold it again. So I hold it tight, and pray for the day I never have to let it go.
And yes, I believe that even in death, when I am no longer on this earth.
I will still have my connection with you.
Our flames, still burning as bright as ever.
In our next lifetime when we meet each other again, I only have one request.
Give me that look, the one you know will make me smile, the genuine smile which lets you know how happy you make me.
