Surely you,
Jester.
Unduly-expressed.

Lambasted,
insulted.

Abrasive ...
au naturel?

I think...
Surely not.

Unless,
Had the aforementioned not just the will to rip through my throat,
 but too the audacity to penetrate the inclement root you call heart.

Well, I had made my decision.
and lo!
I would have stood by it too;
had my own form of insecurity been given the chance to wilt.

Not further admonished on
how to think. how to act
How 'one' should primarily be.
Instead I lie bludgeoned,
berated;
and by the very thing that
antecedently spurred  
a cascade of unsophisticated giddiness.

That too was far from the cry of a
Devil-may-care persona.
I would almost weep the lost opportunity,  
Whereas I should simply, and most ardently
Just be.

Life can be so beautiful.
The way the water ripples when kissed by the wind,
the way the trees dance,
like they never felt sin.
I want to live a life so beautiful-
that even the most vibrant of violets
is jealous,
Meet a love so passionate that Mother Nature goes blind,
I want thoughts as pure as the Oregon rain.
A life that bares no sin,
and holds no pain.
I want to run-
faster than the ducks can fly,
faster than my tears move when I cry.
But in this bittersweet moment,
I bare marks of self-harm,
paired with a smile that lives a lie.