I really do miss you as sad as it is true.....
theres alot of things i wanted to be and do with you.

now i wont get to *** your long gone....
and its my fault...
eventhough you were in the wrong.

I get sad when you come to mind....
I have wanted you for so long.... i hoped one day you would be the one I would find..

I have loved you for so long....
I never stopped loving you even when i had a 'toy' to help forget what brought my saddness on...

Even when hed be here....I still looked for you *** it was you who should have been there.
Not once did i ever stop thinking about you......
I knew somehow you were behind it all in some way too...

When john died close to 3 yrs now.....

you were there to talk to me all the time...
making me feel better ....
getting the sun again to shine.

I wish it were that way now *** when my mom dies....
how will i  manage......  i ust dont know how...

You used to seem so much more compassionate and loving about life..
Now its not that way....
I wish i could go change it or so you can end it for me, just hand you the knife.

I get sad when you come to mind....
I have wanted you for so long.... i hoped one day you would be the one I would find..

I have loved you for so long....
I never stopped loving you even when i had a 'toy' to help forget what brought my saddness on...

Even when hed be here....I still looked for you *** it was you who should have been there.
Not once did i ever stop thinking about you......
I knew somehow you were behind it all in some way too...

When john died close to 3 yrs ago.....
you were there to talk to me all the time...
making me feel better ....
getting the sun again to shine.

I wish it were that way now *** when my mom dies....
how will i  manage......  i ust dont know how...

You used to seem so much more compassionate and loving about life..
Now its not that way....
I wish i could go change it or so you can end it just hand you the knife.

I hope every time I scratch his back
And whisper in his ear
You feel it
I hope it makes you feel sick to
Your stomach
And I want you to dance with her
To our song
At your first concert together

Her finger nail marks
And purple love wounds
Will have my DNA all over you
It's gonna be me punching you in the gut
When she doesn't return your texts
Or calls anymore

I'll knock the air out of you when you can't accomplish something
I'm the slamming doors and broken pencils
All around you

Every pill you take for the next
10 years
Will have my initials on it

My insanity
Will make you puke your brains out
And you can call me crazy
But insanity is beautiful
And you're gonna get bored
Without me

The ugliness of normality
Will wrap around your face
And try to stick it's fist in your mouth

You'll gag until you say my name in vein

The dots in every punctuation mark
At the end of every sentence
You'll ever mutter
Will be one of my blinks
From waking up in the middle of the night
To find you with someone else
Asleep

My therapist will get all of the gifts I gave you
And they will hoard the memories
So I don't have to anymore

I've been doing well, only a couple stitches.
But how do u heal a scar that can't be seen
You're the thread and I'm the wound
But we are both the blood

You'll wake up to me screaming in your dreams
To find rose petals all over ur bed
Thorns in ur ankles

Sorry you had to speak at my funeral

I ache so bad for you...
I physically hurt sometimes !!

To say that u hate you would be a huge lie
Truth is I never should have said goodbye

I know that u don't forgive me and would rather that I die
But the harsh reality is I wish I could still look you in the eye!!
If I knew what you meant to me when you were still here I never would have let u go because your the  one that I hold dear!!!

I'd give anythg to feel your touch...
Just wish I knew back then
*** now my words don't mean as much!!!

you can say what you like or what like others to think...
I know how u felt and the things you feel about me....
it just ***** *** i miss you so much but since i cant talk to you ..
I will just have anohter drink.

I wonder if you'll think good whenever u think of me??
Did I leave a good impression on u or did I make u wish u never met me??

I'm glad that I met you!
I am not even mad after knowing what u were sent to do!!

I will forever miss u since u touched my heart like no other !!!
Just wish we could talk or text each other!!!

Since u won't I will forever be sad!!
But at least I have memories to reflect back on the time we had !!!

I want u to use me for ur ****** pleasure .....
Make me beg and with u I will do whatever!!!

U were always so much fun....

Can I have one more day???

That's not much!!! Just one!!