I remember the grass,
my fingertips twirling between
the blades,
and the rays of heat
as they give life
to keep the past
in the present-
a dietary aid
to all,
with trees to provide
some shade

I had forgotten
because I hid inside
four walls that weren’t
just physical
but of the mind:
closed off to nature
and the care that
my loved ones deserved

Gradually,
the seeds have been sown
for I am outside again
learning about hard work
with hummingbirds
that mew in the wind
and bees buzzing
as they collect their due
from this life giving earth,
the one right underneath
that I always forget
to appreciate,
but will forever
find my way back
to her
and her healing ways

How does one love here
eternally,
when it is seemingly
ambiguous
with no happily ever after?
Evasive to perception,
yet somehow within us
only to be without,
never to stagnate
unless we fill our cups
with doubt

Ineffable, we’re all ****** up,
spiraling-
was this inevitable?
Lacking in honor;
devastation, She may instead
choose to watch the world burn,
we animals have
come unglued
from the fabric of
our own humanity-
lest we forget,
we are animals too

And we’ve disconnected
from the alchemy
beyond senses dull touch,
because access starts
from within
to be with out,
yet most of us sit around
reveling in drugs, lust,
and doubt

Compassion
lacks an identity,
it only exists to give
so what is it that set us
up this climb
of forced actualities
that are actually
meaningless?

We circulate an eternal
notion of control,
pacing concrete
and calling it purpose
instead of settling
into our dark abyss
and finding acceptance
underneath the
surface

I look within myself to find myself within my path

The answers are denials for the questions that I ask

The truth was never hiding, it was resting in it’s nest

But you can only find it by abandonment of the task

in my ink i tanslate light and dark paths
into the possibility of herstory
eden's remorse was for you
my season is upon me
and into history the world is weeping

debacle is past tense
good morning americans

An inkling of
something authentic
laced in Psilocybin
decides to reminisce-
she stood there once again
brown eyed and secret filled,
a testament of time
and how it can’t heal the ill

Thought I was spent,
but it’s those days of my youth
when nothing needed
to make sense
where I traced the message
as it connects:
an answer undesirable,
still honesty none the less

Hope straightens its back
as I attempt to settle the past
and grasp at the present,
assuring that ego will learn
how to just let things happen

How to ride the
unknowable wave,
and sense these gentle
reminders
that there is no escape
because we are
simply messengers
conscious for reasons
understood
only when in symbiosis
with Mother Earth

Culture runs backwards:
strength is weakness,
soft is
empowerment-
dissuade yourself from
this rampant mindset
we've placed upon thrones,
instead find reserve to manifest
and bask in
this well of fluidity
that masculinity
can never hone

Heavy lies the crown,
it is hard
be free with the wind
like a fallen leaf
and you will catch
a safe ride home
from Mother Earth herself-
even though her tread
is unsteady,
she flows

Only when you are
certain
that there is
nowhere to be
except where you are,
will you find exemption
from the urge to shape
or control

The gut
is a compass,
let it guide you to
novelty,
and what lies beneath
the surface: that is where
adventure begins,
it takes one big leap
but you will let go
until there is nothing
left to rescind

The stars do not fall
with our might,
the universe has motivation
of its very own:
possession is a mirage
that takes hold
we die when we die
but there will always be
an endless light
being fed to the living below

Where a mother just gave birth
in a dreary hospital room
filled with loved ones and flowers
next-door to a man who died
alone, in the peak of June
on that same day
with the same replenishing light
reflecting in a perfect sky:
meaning is an illusion
that we create

Why make sense of things
that are better left on the shelf?
Answers are bittersweet
figments of "truth"
akin to religion
and its unfruitful ruse
for it is no secret that language
plays a fickle tune,
each voice with its own sacrilege
to project as a catalyst
unknowingly for the downfall
where we all lose

To a bullish sense of self
deemed more important
as people shout and yell,
it's unbeknownst to them
that self-righteous anger
is also best left
on the shelf

Sink into the void I’ve found
that appears as pointless
and you’ll find
a requite of safety,
steady your breathing

Vacate needless self-help,
not all flaws
require examination
it is sensible to be empty,
steady your breathing

When trauma is
held onto as a lifeline
we cling to that identity,
halting time in its tracks
helplessly watching
as our essence begins to rot
in a cell that is
only condemning,
steady your breathing

Find comfort
through experience,
seek out the
universal center
and its unaffected
infinity,
steady your breathing

Nature has a heartbeat
we can synchronize with
by accepting her
relentless mortality,
steady your breathing

Death is inevitable,
a beautiful mess
it is the enemy yet
also a friend
depression is the cause,
sufferance is the effect
and reminders of
transience
are the master of anxiety,
steady your breathing

There is immortal freedom
hidden outside of
tunnel vision
compelling us with a
symphonic tune
to cherish being alive
and find adventure in the next-
to sing along with this chorus of
left and right /
beginning and end,
where it then gives way
to a verse
of chaos and symmetry /
repent and forgiving,
steady your breathing

Sounds perfecting
the mirage
stuck in our peripheral
of duality in tonal form,
so we can understand
that true wealth
is noticing the difference
between what we believe
and what is reality,
steady your breathing

The tightness in my chest
conveys that I need to disconnect
sit alone,
on a remote landscape,
hoping the sound of rustling leaves
will sync with these shakes
and ease my deathless torment

As some quiet finally sets in,
introspection begins to surface
and it gets me wondering if
these thoughts of mine
intertwine with the pain that I keep
to manifest a life of anger
and delusion
draping me in shades of guilt,
forever climbing up this hill

Closing my eyes paved the way
for understanding unrivaled:
an ineffable cause
to sit with nothingness,
I spilled into a void
and suddenly
stopped drowning in sadness,
finding humor in the unknown
when a feminine hand reached out
with love,
telling me to let go
and she shared with me
everything I wanted to know;

“There is no path to save yourself,
only transcendence:
answers can be begged for
but until you let go of precedence
and learn to listen for each breath
the tightness will never settle
within your chest”