It all came to a standstill,
A day when time stood still,
A beautiful world, fogged and grey,
Grief was its own land, okay?
But the sun arose the next day,
And we woke up anyway,
When the past was  a distant land,
Time stood still, not so grand........

the world is slowing down

a mist of milky gossamer moves in
between
my will and things to do
the clear shapes of objects
are growing soft and dull
the moment's urgency
yields to my ponderings
   of possible decisions
abstract rigidity arrests the words
things stay forever as they are

   is it a sense of death
   that delicately touches on my neck
   and steals from me the comfort
   of continuous change?

life seems to walk away
in long and measured stride
the kitchen clock has never been so fast

it measures time
from here up to the stars

it counts
and blows
the moments of my delicate eternity
one by one
into the past

* *

I hate you being here in my space reminding me of all my mistakes

I know better but I don’t ever do better

My life is at a standstill whenever I choose to stand still with you.
You
of all people, I choose to stand with you.

I tire of playing the victim.
Tired of being the damsel in distress,
I’m more than capable of rescuing myself

But it hurts now, like it always does
and I feel lonely in your company like I always do
and you look at me with eyes that seem lost in someone new and I know the truth
I’ve always known the truth..

You have never loved me and I let you use me
Use me up until I had only a few drops left.
I let you.. I always let you..

Eternity is in our hearts
Smaller than I knew
It can be but meet seconds
As long as I stand with you

It doesn't always last forever
Fleeting as the morning dew
It's those perfect moments
With family friends loved ones too

Eternity is when time stands still
Those moments that our love grew
The moments we want to never end,
from them precious poems we drew

Sitting here I realize
That surely I will fail
For homework I do not have
Eternity to prevail

wake up every 5 am with coffee stains under your eyes
the bitter analytic was once a child with daisies in her hair but now there's only demons in her head
she wasn't beautiful as the ocean but she had the depth
the type that always noticed the shift in the air after midnight
bright eyes turned into her mother's, sullen and pitiless
they told her to stop looking at the stars and to start looking at her future
soft hands turned into her father's, brutal and calloused
they told her to stop fixing people and to start fixing herself
there was a child with roots in her veins and hands softer than flower petals
she talked about the universes stamped on her fingerprints and compared them to the bark of trees
but now she only talks to her demons
the ones that ripped the daisies out of her hair
you watch the news, think "oh, how horrible", when someone's been murdered and feel horrible when you realize you didn't feel a thing
grab a coffee, always black, rub your eyes and hope you get through the day without malfunctioning
the earth gave her a youth her parents couldn't offer her but the world took that away
this isn't growing up, this is oblivion

Reality has a hard grasp,
causing me to forget to breathe sometimes.

Familiar hands choking me.
The lost opportunities get caught in my throat,
as I notice the fingerprints on the wall match my own.

To afraid to take the risk,
because all I really want to do is jump.
I wish that I could watch what holds me so tight shatter,
releasing a thousand promises of tomorrow.

I stand still ....
because I'm scared of getting lost again,
Deep stunning water that could swallow me whole.

Dreams can't be stolen.
But I see mine transform, as the puzzle pieces of you start fitting into place.