Wishy Washy.
Tumbling,
Between high and low,
Hot and cold.
Am I delicate like the load of whites? do I need to refresh my color with a strong drink- bleach?
Or am I tough and resistant like denim? toss me in for an hour, shove soap down my throat, and I'll come out like new?
Maybe I'm a mixed load, balancing between the two; teeter-tottering from feeling to feeling.
The day I wrote this I had dreamt of someone who used to be very dear to me who I am having to forget, to better myself. She hurt me bad and I'd been having the same dream of us repairing our relationship for a few months now, and I've felt like a washing machine with my guts twisting and pulling with my emotions going from one end of the spectrum to the next; low in morning, high in the middle of the day, unknown at night. I've had amazing friends, Trixie, Luigi, Houk, Rin, Cait-Cait, and many others who've helped me through these past months who I can't thank enough for their continued support. Whenever I have these dreams and feel this way it feels like a step backwards and I end up feeling guilty for no reason just because I have them, and so I'm hoping that by writing this out it's a step in the right direction. Feeling like this is normal after you've spent some great times with someone you've cared about- weather it's months or years, it hurts and it's okay. I know time will heal these wounds eventually, so for now here's a Band-Aid.
Dedicated to everyone who's been hurt and felt this way or similar, and to my amazing friends; I hope we all find what we need and can better ourselves, and be happy.
