My dear, I am writing you from the depths of my solitude, to ease your worried heart and mind. Loneliness has been gnawing at my terrified flesh as of late. Yet, my only wish is to remain alone. Unseen and untouched. I think this is pure joy, or the illusion of it. But I am content at this very moment. I promise.

You might think that I am slowly sinking. That I will soon reach the bottom of the ocean, and you fear it is too dark and solitary there. That I might not survive my own madness— not this time, not by myself. That I cannot swim nor do I intend to learn how to. That I willingly gave my body to Poseidon as a peace offering. That I finally made my peace— not with God, but with a god nonetheless. That I am all swallowed up. That I will not see you again. That I will die lamenting your forgotten smile. That Azrael, the angel of death, weeps over my doom. That I have died long ago—
But how can a corpse feel such emotions?
How do I tell my stubborn heart that it is not beating for you any longer?
How do I comfort my frantic soul by lulling it to an eternal sleep?
—And if so then tell me, my dearest one, don’t I deserve serenity, too? After burning for a decade, yearning for a safe haven. Do you think I finally deserve to rest?

Palms of ocean blue
This sinking boat
Me and you
Hands tied to sheltered love
We float on our backs
Toward shallow waters
Dipping our toes
Into wet sand
Hanging our feet
Off the edge
Of these coastal cliffs
Reaching for the horizon
Tying together strings of current
That exists between
these distant conversations
a rush of turquoise
runs through our blood
cooling down the fire
that rages within
our anger subsides
and we start floating
toward togetherness

The Skipper -

welcome aboard The Lady Mother Earth

if this ship sinks, it will probably take a while

DO NOT PANIC
MUTINY WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!

some may still have to walk the plank
after sinking

lifejackets are available on the starboard and port sides

when looking toward the bow
the left-hand side is the port side
the right-hand side is the starboard side

sometimes you may have to switch sides to keep her from rolling
we do not want this lady to roll!

first, it will tilt to one end or the other

the bow is the front end of the ship
the stern is the rear end of the ship

the stern will probably go down first

you all will probably run to the bow, in that case
sometimes this can cause a teeter totter effect
sometimes that effect may keep us afloat for a while
sometimes not

although this ship was built
by the finest ship builders ever
the stern has less mass, but more density

we will have no time for physics lessons, if it starts sinking
deckhands, cooks, and even gilligan, must work together

WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST

I will surely go down with the ship, if she goes down...

for now, let's just try to sail on, and not think about it
let's think of charting the best course

say what you want of me
i'm true to myself
and how i feel
tell me i need to be better
cause you're right
that i should do more
i should
that i could be more
i could
"what do you want though?"
happiness
enough cheddar to see myself fed
i'm no dairy farmer
but cream has filled my head
and now i'm sinking
cause the light man
is now heavier than lead

the goldfish swim in circles
casting shadows on my skin
the ripples in the water refract the sun's rays
my eyes burn

i exhale
                                             up
                                         up
and bubbles of air float up

my hand drifts towards the surface
the cool air meets my fingertips
goosebumps kiss my skin

i twirl my hand and the water dances through my fingers
the goldfish disappear
like they always do
my hand begins to sink

i close my eyes

and release
one
final
breath