The agony brings back the memories of you and me laying beneath a tree.,
Listening to the music that breath and heart beat plays,
You put your head on my chest and pour down the tear on my shirt,
You trembled and cried bitterly,
in that instant i thought i was guilty,
I felt like i was out of my sense,
just felt the ***** of your voice.
I lay there like i was dead and inside i was trying to clear my head,
My conscience had pulled the curtain
and i could only think of my gloomy end.
I tried to speak but i was chocked
But you look at me with glimpse of hope,
Which made me think that i should cry,
Then I grabbed you close and held you tight  and felt the heat of your breath
Which started to rise,
I heard those three beautiful word
While your breath slowly diminished
and finally it ended up.

I'm trying to keep you out
But you won't stop pulling me in
Just like a tide in the ocean
But I don't know how to swim
I'm holding tight to the docks
While begging you to stop
I'll keep on tightening my grip
Knowing sometime soon I'm bound to slip

I can't keep holding on
But I don't know how to let go
You can't keep pulling me up
I need to fight these battles on my own

I'm so tired from all of the fighting
My muscles tight and wound
Sometimes it feels like I'm going to snap
I don't know how to stop this from happening

Everything starts to freeze
My lungs are shot
and they've forgot-
ten how to breathe
I'm learning to let go
Not looking for a rescue
heart beat starts to slow
I just want to let go


Feels like I'm breaking...

I watch silently a memory
Waving at the man I used to be
My eyes drying
Those years trying, fighting crying
The only tears I still possess are held in handfuls at my chest
But no one knows
And so my isolation grows
Perhaps one day my face the sun might meet but all I see are shadows clawing at my feet
So I stop pretending that my wounds are mending
Just because I look away and blindly stagger through the days
I need to breathe
I need to leave
Before my agony consumes the hope of harmony
And stop watching who I used to be because he's no longer me

Shots were shot inside your walls
by hands too hot to stop the fall
of bodies, wretched and angelic,
hanged and carefully laid upon your plains.

Deeds were done in the redbrick corners of your streets. Only mourners then remained in the memories of pain, and the folklore fear born by your command still stands to stain your hands.

Shots were shot to echo through the mountains. My idea of a summer death was real and, Alas, the trusting eyes of childish lies felt space-time tear and turned themselves to glass.

I cleaned my childhood home in honey light - a flight away from you, through pain. I fight your urge to overpower money and stand tall,
crouching low to scrub the stone floor of many childhoods' home.

My ears no longer scream in pain of nightmare visions, still seeing the shots you fired. Seeing your fire no more, I long for lore and love of mice. This year I'm under watercolour skies and listening to stories of light and newborn lies.

Bitter
Tasteless
Is the feeling of rejection

Lonely
Cold
Is the feeling of separation

The heart is devoid of emotions
And longs
for love
And reunion

I saw your eyes
But I didn't see through it
I heard your silent plea
But I never really understood it
I felt your presence
But I never felt the burden your carrying

Now on the other side
I see everything
With different eys
And I can't help but feel pain

I long
For the late nights
Under a full moon
Bickering over nothing

I long
For those green big eyes
That haunts me
Wherever I go

I long
To hear just once more
Your easy laughter
Or asking me out

I long
To sit next to you
Caressing your hands in mine
Whispering, everything will be
alright

But then
I wake up
To a hard reality
To a cold world
A life without you

In all my nightmares
This one hit me hard
With all the pain
Along the way
You've taught me a lesson, Dear

You've taught me
Not to judge
And not to pry
You've opened my eyes
Such as I've never experienced before.

Those days
Are gone.
Just like rainfall,
A powerful downpour
Leaving puddles all around
But then
All drys up
Ready for you to continue.

You cant sit in misery
It brings you
Down
I'm getting up
Trying,
And working myself through.

All that's left for me to do
Is pray
For you

My Love.

Dear Author:
I am posting
your 'the-then' thoughts
on this web-blog
since I do not know
where, in time
and in place
are you lost.

If,
someday,
you happen to stumble
upon this web-page,
send me a message
and I will quietly
remove this entry
in exchange
for a small fee:
The privileged readership
of your soul-stirring poetry.

❀

WE ALWAYS REMEMBER

You and I,
wherever we are
are fated to love.

No matter
whose poems are being read,
You and I,
or something of us
springs up in each one
in some way or
another.


Whatever doesn't ever
reach the lips
has reached the poems
...already...already.

There,
Do you blink?
as if to disillusion me.

You talk of bright worlds ;
unknown to me.

My side of the discourse
is limited to sighs and tears
and blushes,
and wiping off
the spreading Kaajal †
with my baby's mouth-napkin.

But you aren't even married yet.

And
by the next time we meet,
I will have painted my lips again.

You remind me
of what I couldn't be.


© The Nightingale

† Kohl

I believe I dream
As soon I close my eyes
Yet
Everything I've seen
Arised me so alive
And when I wake
In emptiness
I miss you at my side
A nightmare,
Aching in my chest
And leaving me in fright

In timeless time
I wait and dream
And wonder where you are
Whenever I am wide awake
I fear for my own heart
Since separation cuts my core
As deep as does my dept
I fall and fall forevermore
To bottomless regret

son
far away

daughter
far away

stray old
buddy stray

pray think
come back

stay