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Tom Atkins Dec 2020
Outside it is snowing, just a bit.
Twelve years in and it still seems odd
Vermont, cold and with its ethereal light
feels more like home than the hills and mountains
you spent your first 54 years immersed in.

It seems odd that you were nearly sixty
before rediscovering the ocean,
Maine and Cape Cod, wild, often rugged,
nothing like the sprawling sands
where you were raised. And yet, it is these seas,
not the seas of your first half century
that calm your soul and raise it
from it’s gloom.

It seems odd that the place
that sings its siren song,
calls to you, makes you yearn like a lovesick boy,
lies in a foreign land,
with a foreign language,
nothing familiar, nothing, and yet
the first time you arrived,
sitting in Saint Mark’s square,
cappuccino in hand,
the Adriatic light and salt water filling your senses
you felt more at home
than you have ever felt in your long fractured life.

It seems odd, that you are so in love
with a woman so different than the southern sirens
that surrounded you most of your life.
Darker. More direct. Challenging, yet gentle,
Struggling strong, real.
She enflames you. She calms you.
She protects you. Even from yourself.
You have never known a woman like her.
And yet, in her arms, you feel that most unusual of things,
safe.

It seems odd that at this age, you look at the places
you called home, and the places you feel home,
that make your soul feel whole, complete, possible,
and you question so much of the place and time
and people who raised you.
But only for a few moments
before realizing home has never changed.
Truth has never changed.
You have.
I often spend a lot of the week between Christmas and New Year's reflecting. These thoughts arose after looking at pictures from a few years back to use with this poem for my blog. One showed up from Venice and the poem fairly spilled out.
LannaEvolved Dec 2020
I thought I knew your words
It was like knowing anybody out there  
A blank page in the book of Proverbs

Bait and switch without the wisdom
But you didn’t know what you brought
Soulless protection to fear
You called
me a scared little girl
Little did you know
I was my own savior

What is it you said I needed?
A so-called enlightenment?
But who knew your darkness wrapped *** magik
Could save vulnerability and attempt to destroy the authentic luxury of me
No. Only fake love in lust can do that
For lust is loss and I’m not gone

Then there was you and me again
That night unveiled me
The unevolved me
Still I knew
I was going to make it out alive

I am here.
Sometimes we truly must experience the strange,  the unhealthy, the unwanted, the unnecessary, the potential threats to our emotional safety and well-being if we are to understand the essence of resilience and healing. We don’t always know how or why or even expect ourselves to fall into those situations with others, but when we break free of them, truly break free mentally and physically, with the support and inner strength we all have within, our outer world will dramatically change to reflect the new being we have become through it and for ourselves. You can do this. Believe and break free of anyone who may be chaining you to a false reality not meant for you. That is the only way that you will begin to change yours and the one you wish to see. You deserve the best. Do it for yourself as the creator you are.
eleanor prince Dec 2020
'Will you be my daddy?'
the girl in the woman whispered
to yet another lover, acquaintance,
man in the street who looked remotely
like he might just step in the phantom's shoes

...and the ache burned on
the searing, tearing
rags aflame
screamed
hot

and cold
as dry ice,
as unsuitable
whiskered men
became barnacled

to a little child's longing
to have a better papa than
the one that arrived to bash
all decency out of the fibre of

a life torn
This poem has welled up in response to one I have just reposted, penned by a deeply impacting, candid write by poet Joe Thompson.   Not all have the privilege of having known a decent human father, one we can be proud to call our own.   Of course, it would be unwise to seek to make any adult have to try to fill those shoes. The responsibility for wellness in adulthood rests with the one now no longer a child in calendar years. The 'adult' self needs to protect the 'child' inside and gently and firmly help them heal so that only safe partners are sought, with a view to experiencing and enjoying healthy relationships.   I would be honoured if you could leave a comment on what thoughts and feelings arise in you as you read my poem.  Thank you so much. (P.S. I appreciate knowing of any typos, however in Australia it is correct to write 'fibre' not 'fiber' and 'honoured' not 'honored')
Anais Vionet Dec 2020
(a Senryu string poem)

High school girls are just
thoughtless and vague - too ****
dumb to be afraid.

Trusting too quickly
- believing things that are said
- unaware of risk.

Small and powerless,
chickens cooped from feral foxes
- peaches for picking.

So accompany
me on walks, to the store and
guard me like a penny.

Look - we're women
- junior grade - and conscious
of dark potential.

Breasted Americans
face a dark rainbow of threats
- we are mortal.

But ANY of us can
encounter unscheduled evil
like nightmares from hell.

Yes, that means you rough
tough males who glide through life as
if untouchable.
someday this isolation will end and freedom will mean going places (thank God).
SiouxF Dec 2020
i want someone to wrap me inside the warmth of their body.
i want someone to protect me in the strength of their arms.
i want someone to hold my heart in the palm of their hands.
i want someone to still my mind.
i want someone to understand my pain.
i want someone to heal me.
i want someone to set me free.
I want that someone
To
Be
You
This poem was inspired and adapted from Elias‘ poem ‘my fault’ who kindly gave me permission. Thank you 🙏🏻
https://hellopoetry.com/brokenskyline/
Solace Dec 2020
The sides of the bathtub
Rise up like castle walls
Keeping me safe and
Allowing me to ignore
The world outside of them
My small safe haven
My fortress of solitude
A place where I can
Simply be in existence
But not taking up space
Ameliorate Dec 2020
“I wanted to be happy”
The words crept from my lips like scurrying little spiders when their home disturbed amongst darkened cobwebs in an untouched dingy room
Intrusive thoughts
Dismaying salvation of pathologized compliance
Masking behaviour for acceptance
“Stop spinning in that chair- it’s annoying”
Self expression became punishable
Dismaying youth- retribution beyond reasonable understanding
Belted and crying
Please stop, it hurts
Fearful avoidance
Nothing feels safe
Transmitting adulthood with repressed memories though awakened by medical emergency of your cat
Navigating uncertainty since July; desperately attempting to understand inner workings of trauma brain
Complex post traumatic stress disorder
Medical diagnosis though intrusive thoughts still catastrophic
Chronic pain with desolation
Desperately craving the touch of another human
Covid times; worsening depression combatting betraying myself with fathers abusive words while unproductively masquerading oversleeping
Powerlifting self regulation though collapsing under the bar.
If they wanted to talk to you
They would make effort
Though I still fawn my way to self acceptance
After all;
That’s what my parents taught me to do.
December 3, 2020
One of my better pieces.
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