In contemporary belief.
A archer went to a shaman for relief.
A answer to ease fear of thoughts.
Finding his way home, the trail of war became too much.
He struggled with the regret of building a life away from what he knew.
When he came to the shaman.
The shaman hung his head low.
Smelling the stinch of blood.
Still he could not turn his back to the archer.
When posed with the young archers question.
He sat puzzled. Summering the long winded statement to "a great change must be made. Else all will fade."
Knowing of the young archers longing for a maiden.
The archer looked puzzled.
Yet the shaman spoke nothing else.

The young archer was called upon.
A war broke on the opposing side.
They needed his skill in fear that survival was utmost.
Without time to think the archer grabbed his bow. His arrows and darted quickly in the direction the war has taken place.
He quickly coiled arrow to bow. In repeated motion until none were left.
A field of arrows covered the small space.
War does something to a man.
A brief clarity after the slaughter of contemplation.
The shamans words dawned upon him like a snake.
He darted to the shamans place in great discoverly.
Finding that the shaman as well as his possessions were completely gone without trace.
He darted back to the field.
Searching through a forrest of arrow.
A heart wrenching feeling stuck on his face.
Guiding his way through the arrows he found a familar hand. Connected to a familar torso.
A face stuck in agonizing eternity.
The shamans words made more sense.
Backing away from the body.
Thinking deeply. Damning his hands.
The thing that came as habit.
He broke his bow in the reflection of his maiden's eyes.
This war gone astray inside of him

In the form of love she held me close.
Shaping the pieces of her heart into pills.
Without the proper prescription she advised that I take one once a day.
How foolish of me to exceed the dosage.
Unable to differentiate what was real.
Small sips of water, dilated pupils.
The mood swings felt between night and day.
The chemicals of her heart seen loud and clear.
Withdrawing myself from what I pictured the perfect love.
Moving from twice a day to as many as was needed.
Falling fast asleep. Waking up with sharp pains.
This was how fast my heart began to beat.
Swallowing each pill to ease the pain. Having gone so long without such embrace. 
I medicated myself in the hopes of staying alive.
A mass communion of pills gathered in the palm of my hand.
Easing her body into my mouth.
Swallowing her heart in an entirety of fragments.
This was how I came to overdose in a fantasy that wasn't meant for me

I got on my knees, hoping that you would appear
I waited until the morning, keeping my eyes closed in solemn prayer.
Hoping to see you when I opened my eyes.
I was curious when you would appear, keeping my eyes closed.
Continuing to wait, my knees became sore.
Still I knelt on my knees knowing pain.
Would your love ever take over.
Continuing to wait I opened my eyes at the crack of dawn.
Rising from my knees when I saw nothing but disappointment.

Somethings are easier to explain than most.
But what gets me is that everyone fails to mention what happens to the moth after the flame is extinguished.
The sorrow that escapes through the air as black smoke.
The burning smell of a wick sweltering in the remains of liquid wax.
Soon to harden as if nothing has happened.
And the moth, forever left with it's essence
Soon left alone, blinded.
Not knowing which way to go

Far too long have I labored under the cruel slavemaster of my emotions
Whipped I am by my love for you
Desperately I have tried to escape from this slavery
But crippled am I by infatuation
Here I'll stay in this cruel cruel place
Until love turns to hate
Only then will I be free

There loomed a certain belief,
One that exhaled soon as she passed.
A sudden urge that fizzed over soon as the bottle opened.
Now granted you can still drink a soda once it's shaken
Most would replace desire for that of another, the discord
Of being splashed in the face by the very desire one in the same.
Drops of truth splashed everywhere seen as backlash, a sort of wrath
Spoken but never heard.
There was something about the contour of the bottle,
Fixed thoughts filled in ovulation.
Everything kept inside.
A certain vengeance that loomed in bliss.
If not handled carefully doom was immanent.
Each time she walked passed he'd shake the bottle more vigorously.
A cold fizz that quenches every desire steadfast with reality.
Curious he looked at the bottle, wanting to quench this need
He placed his hands on the top slowly unscrewing.
Her eyes connected with his, everything paused.
For the first time in a long time everything was beautiful
Sharing a brief look relaxing his shoulders.
He untwisted the top, for a moment she sighed
Feeling a release she hasn't felt in a long time.
His hand smooth against the contour of the bottle
He placed his lips against the bottle easing her to quench this thirst he's waited so long for.
This urge that dried the well of his throat.
She refused him the pleasure of her, keeping her fizz to herself.
Now he knows what it's like to be on the outside looking in

I wish that wasn't me.

I look at the bodies of my beloved and my son and wish that wasn't me.
I look at the ****** knife in my hand and horrible wounds on their bodies and wish that wasn't me.

I remember coming home drunk.
I remember her being angry at me.
I remember my head aching.
I remember her yelling at me.
I remember shouting at her to shut up.

I understand making a mistake of taking the knife and screaming at her.
I understand making a mistake of stabbing her again and again, crying at her to be silent.

I regret looking up and noticing my son weeping at the door.
I regret screaming at him to be silent as well.

I stare at my hands and the ****** knife.
I stare at the corpses of my dearest queen and my heir.

I wish that was me.

Every song reminds me of you
A specific soundtrack of each time you've made me smile
The times we just laid and talked about nothing
separate lines of the phone
One side of the bed or the floor
Every song reminds me of you
I've listened to other genres only to find that the feeling still resonates
Wondering the what if of any moment
That sudden impact that strikes when the song breaks down
The need to hold on tighter
Wondering that If at any moment you'd actually pick up the phone and call
Pretending to ignore the melody that makes my head nod
The foot taps that echo hearts delight
The comfort of being at ease
My heart being heard through the speakers
Every song reminds me of you
Every chorus a simple reminder of the times shared between you and I
The melody my heart sings only around you
The addiction of throughly repeated songs
Fighting the urge to press the skip button knowing the next song only does the same thing
Bring back that irreplaceable ache that pains only to be near
The you tube of the minds eye, the Google play of the heart
Resonating each and every memory
Each and every time I fell deeper in love with a song that reminded me of you
Trying to replace that feeling of comfort that jolted soon as the song would start
Now days every song reminds me of you
Old new between
A different sample eclipsing times spent with you
Different artists, different melodies
They all remind me of you

Is this love that I feel
This need to have you near
This sensation that keeps you cradled.

 

The smell of brown sugar and pumpkin spice
Pieces of ourselves given in comfort;
The depth of ourselves inhaled deep
A sheer pleasure indulged stepping outside

 


Discovering a new branch of fear
[Should you leave]
If you ever
In The harsh wind of God's whisper
What of The memories left behind
Cinnamon brown, the wither of leaves soon to crumble
Never to glance back;

 

Turning to God for console
A renewed vision
At untimely end
Falling to what is left
My leaf
My desire
My branch
To pavement cold; bare

Her heart was like a million tiny rubber bands
Bouncing from one direction to the next
A boomerang effect
Honest in truth
Memorizing the feeling of each echo
The pull and snap of elastic
Too often
She gave pieces of herself
In the end
To be the only one cleaning up