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We Are Stories Feb 2015
I have pressed you so hard upon my head
That I don't think I could ever forget
Those pictures floating around like a group of haunting ghosts,
And when I shut my eyes tight I still hear them boast!

I died at the age of thirteen
When someone on MySpace sent me a link
To some page labeled "nudes here: all free",
And my heart, heavy weighted, proceeded to take a peek!
Oh I wish my eyes never got to see!
I wish I never had to know what is out in front of me!
I had gotten all that I'd wanted!
Little did I know that five years down the road I'd give anything to go back.

Sleep sweet!
That's what they tell me!
As if I never was guilty
Of looking at something so filthy!
Oh my eyes knew!
Oh my mind knew too!
The only thing pulling me closer was the desire
To feel that high and the get higher!
I never needed any spark to start my fire!
All I needed was a thought to get me inspired.

I just want to go back to when I still had any kind of innocence!
Before I knew exactly what ******* is!
I'm still trying my best to find some way to live.
Styles Dec 2014
Okay so way back then, when
I wasn't good  and would just pretend
I had stardom that bigger than anyone could comprehend
even when
my biggest
was my little blue pen
that never gave in
even when
I caught my second winds
chasing my dreams
Found followers in the end
Driven by a passion
that will never end
fueled by the energy
Sharing my feelings
felt by all of them
Don't even know my name
But feelin the exact same
So different in appearance
But it's more apparent
We are all the same
Cause they feel what I am saying
And like the pain
I am chasing believers
Forget the fame
or end up a lame
lose myself to sir prize
And kiss my fan base good bye
Cause my album gets low buys
Fall victim to system
Instead of living my life
I rather have 1000 likes
Then contract a contract;
The disease that instantly ruins an artist for life.
You’re so dumb It’s like someone hit you with a brick
I  have a PHD that means  pretty huge ****

***** so hot itll make you fly
I killed your mama and then she died

So what you learned are two things
my thing is big and your moms now ded
Ja feel
Styles Nov 2014
I'm one of a kind.
Stuck in my own mine.
The only place I can find, a calm find,
Is the confines, of my own mind.
And it's fine, at least I've
told myself a thousand times.
Now I'm sick of messing around,
Started laying these rhythms.
In perfect line, one at a time
to inspire these inquiring minds.
So they will find;
History, or Herstory, repeating itself
Line after line; over time.
through these thoughts of mine.
All this sadness, at the expense of happiness;
straight up madness.
Killing yourself with this mad stress,
while chasing success, in all ways.
"Always ends up a mess," experiences says.
Taking baby steps towards more unhappiness.
Worry free days, migrates to migraines, with growing pains.
What's perceived as success, should be worth way much less.
Cost of yourself, at the expense of progress, that does not exist. Got you living a dream, while you losing the rest.
Blood thicker than water, but not baguettes or the flesh.
They will, **** you for the dough, then fight amongst themselves over the wealth. Their net worth, worth more than how they value them self. So you "so soon, they forget." And to, get what they want, or perceive as need, they'll use you to get. So be careful,  in the pursuit of happiness, don't lose sight of yourself. Or it will be your final regret.
Castiel Sep 2014
If your pain is so real
then what is mine?
Your demons are tangible
Your demons are the ones that
push the weaker kids into lockers
Your demons are the ones that
open your heart
only to raid it and leave it bleeding
My demons - my demons do not exist
in the face of yours
Mine are silent
(Except in my head)
My demons scream at me
They tell me about being too fat (or too skinny)
or too stupid (or too pretentious)
or being too much of a disappointment
Your demons prove that you are worth fighting over
Mine prove that there is nothing to fight for
If your pain is so real
then what is mine?

If your cuts are too shallow
then what are mine?
At least yours will fade in time
Mine are digusting
lingering
They remind me constantly of how I have failed
of how I will inevitably continue failing
My skin doesn't sting
(If I squeeze my eyelids hard enough)
You need yours to hurt more
To remind yourself what pain feels like
instead of numbness
I'm so much less romantic.
I need to remind myself what punishment feels like
I deserve to be punished
You do not deserve to be punished
You do not deserve your scars to be permanent
but I do
If your cuts are too shallow
then what are mine?

If you are human
then what am I?
Because if your mistakes are what count
then I have made enough to spare
And if it's your torment that decides it
send me a membership letter
At least tell me I'm something
Because what I have seen is not part of a competition
What I think
should not be compared with what you do
My impact
should not be compared with yours
Making a struggle into a prize
That makes me inhuman
So if it's pain that makes you real
then at least act like I have a ******* heart
And don't tell me that
I don't know what it's like.
If you are human
then what am I?
#fakingit

...did I mention I've been very depressed lately? because I have been.
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