To go so far
And turn around

To take a step forward
And take two steps back

Ambition lost

Courage faltering

And you...

You just keep going

Leaving me reaching and falling short

A voice,
I was familiar with
Previously, deviously
Reaching out
For more of what she had
Before

colored handprints alight
splattered in dots and lines
a glassy pillow stretches
its wrinkled and hairlined skin
     cracked
           creaking
   crooked
          
               stretched wearing thin..

a hold on the waves
grasping currents
            passing
   rushing farther and farther

painting the vastness
of this open ended question
muddled muddied marred
      blurring in sight

~for the wild child, daughter, wife, mother~



I am drifting into the tender part of the night, when deceit is pointless, and I argue with conviction within myself that in our lives that it will never be too late, but I know I contradict my prior musing...somewhere between the fact that time is a wasting commodity, precocious and precious, lives this idea within, that there is nothing that cannot be navigated, recompensed,  even forgiven...

the argument goes on, the tide of battle switching back and forth, and for now I must be satisfied with the meagerness of I can’t give up, be at ease by acknowledging defeat, not just yet, and the fast arrival of a clean slate is a chance, a draw, a ticket to ride, and,

reaching

is a wonderful idea, full of compromise, out and in, extra effort, and tomorrow I may yet teach one of us, even myself, by reaching inside of what churns within, and then have the perfect words you require, for a desperate need, and a comforting that comes forth easily

Standing tall on the highest mountain
surrounded by clouds and the most beautiful fountains.
Against all odds, the tree grew on the toughest rock
up in the sky with the highest-flying hawk.

The cherry blossom reached for the sky.
The cherry blossom wanted to fly
to see the world from up high
to see that last as it dies.

The cherry blossom reached its goal
but all too soon it lost control.
it wanted to see it all
even if it meant it'll fall

The cherry blossom reached and reached
while its trunk screeched and people preached
"trees aren't flexible," they cried
yet still, the cherry blossom tried

the cherry blossom soon adapted
for it never ever got distracted
its trunk had bent and curled
and soon it could see the world.

Lazy and lethargic
Loopy and lost
Little dizzy dots dancing through glass
Distorted and reorganized daily
Finding wiser ways warily
Cutting rosemary from the dirt
Megahertz blurt thoughts into blankness
Blankets on the back porch
Roaches in the feed corn
Violating duties sworn
Better to be never born
Steel shorn clean, violently
Violets growing amongst ivy
Mahogany inseparably blending into ivory
Talking more quietly
For you

Oceans full of tears,
Skies full of pain,
Nothing feels real anymore.
Am I really alive or am I just bones and meat.
We are walking on the same path,
And we are almost reaching the end,
Maybe I am just a dreamer,
But why do they teach us how to dream?
If they all turn to dust.