I sit and stare at a photograph
Or two or three
Or every picture that he saw fit to gift to me
And my gaze lingers in those hazel eyes
Losing myself in half-awake dreams at 4 a.m.
What if, and then
So let's say we are fated
Pulled and connected like the strongest of magnets
Mind to mind and heart to heart
Knowing that there is a freedom in that kind of unity
Believing, without choice, that we own the best pieces of each other
Still, what if isn't what is
What is isn't what could be
What could be is just another
What. if.
So I stare into those hazel eyes at 4:22 a.m.
And I wonder, if for him, I could overlook the cigarettes and stale coffee
Remnants of a history that has been unkind
Leave it to me to love a man
Who smells like the first one to **** me
But here at 4:30 a.m. I can believe
I can believe he smells like the earth after a winter rain
And I can believe, that to him, I smell like heaven
Lost in that sweetness
Captured on a phone
A thousand miles away
I can feel his skin on mine
His breath in my ear
Saying nothing and everything all at once
Here in the dark at 4:38 a.m., I can know beyond doubt
That he is where my heart is
With no rhyme or reason
I know, that should I ask
He would give me all of him
And I know this
As I sit here
Staring at a picture
Or two, or three
Or every picture that he saw fit to gift to me
As I stare into those hazel eyes
Losing myself in half-awake dreams
at 4:43 a.m.

I have travelled the world,
                                               Climbed tall ships at sea,
       But I still do not know
                                               Who I want to be


Stare out the window,
                                       What does life mean to you?
How do we know,
                                       What we are meant to do?


I am wild in spirit
                                 But I can’t seem to      grow        it.

Please someone                           help me,

                                              Help me to show it.

I used to think it was an emotion
This feeling you got about someone
Much better than happiness
A perpetual state of bliss

Then my world overturned
There's much more I learned
As my emotions grew complex
And myself more perplexed

When your trust is broken
And the relationship is just a token
With love comes jealousy
And hate and pain not ecstasy

As everything they say
Can twist you the wrong way
Yet through all of every game
You love them all the same

This contradictory insanity
Consumed every inch of me
It shook me like thunder
Every night, I'm forced to wonder

After endless thoughts
And countless ideas fought
I came to a conclusion
Not proven, yet well rooted

That love is not a feeling
But a state of being
Where your heart is completely bare
Vulnerable to every tear

She's free to make it sing
To bring joy to everything
Or provoke the darker notes
And life shall don a bitter coat