I am both a sadist and a *******
When it comes to myself

The brown-eyed boy, a beauty
A distraction
It develops and flourishes
I knock it down

The girl who sings, a star
A nuisance
The roots intertwine
I set the fire

At last
The red-haired girl, my past
My love
The seed begins to bloom
I salt the earth

I remember how I felt that night
As I packed my things for home
Can't wait to have you in my sight
Can't wait to tell you over the phone
Never have I ever felt this excited
After all this time it was gonna be you
I thought with you is a new beginning
Another chapter unveiling slowly
But it turns like any other good book
The plot has its own unexpected twist
For in your heart there was another
All the time you had a secret lover
The promises we made just disappear
I remember how mad I was at myself
Falling in love for someone like you
You turned out to be a waste of time
But we both never said our goodbyes
We just drifted apart like strangers
Forgotten feelings for each other
Maybe it is the perfect ending
Me trying to wash away the feelings
Trying to forget all of those times
Where I thought to have a fresh start
But it turns out you were the one
Who tore my whole world apart

I used to sit here all alone and contemplate on my life and the emotional crisis I bestow upon my very soul.

My favorite spot in the neighborhood.

The wind would blow as I sit here listening to the creak from the metal chain as this tire swing swung.....

Swung me away from this reality as I laid on the tire, eyez facing the clouds, the white swirls mixed in the baby blue canvas as the smell of the tan bark filled the air with its aroma.

Then one day you joined me.
My best friend.
My first love.
That real love.

I held you close and inhaled the scent of your hair. Held you tight because you were mine. In this deep trance called love but at that very moment I was falling deeper and deeper into your spell. My heart pounding.

Conversed about our future.

You mentioned that one day you would want to own the sky blue three story house across the street. The house with the white stairs and the sun face painted in the tympanum of the pediment. We admired it from the tire swing.

We sat on that swing and I held you for hours. I never thought that one day I would let go.

I looked through the kaleidoscope only to see the nameless faces of those who once crossed my path.
I dreamt of a face who i once knew so well, but  so quickly turned into that of a memory.
Those eyes of onyx and hair of sand took me by suprise as i only knew you by your voice.
That glistening pearlescent smile blinded me as reflects of enamel danced with my heart.
Only by a picture did i realize that i had entered into a rabbit hole in which couldn't be jumped out of.
Only by a voice did i learn of the many ways that a girl can be loved.

I sat underneath the decaying roof as i listened to your vocal chords sing with a deep tone that took my breath away. 
How did i know an innocence could be so ******?
The birds crowed as i learned of my troubled future. The ants scattered as i would step on what was once their sanctuary.
But who would've known a similar voice would spin me around only to leave me in a corner for you to pick me up.

The golden sun rose only to set again.
Her olive skin reflected that of her hardships. Her emerald eyes made those who met her grow full of envy.
Prince Charming was to late, but was still desperately wanted.
She wanted him to rescue her, but she would always wake up.
His voice once again became a memory.
Those faces that once danced within her eyes were now turning to ash.
Those voices turned into that of a deafining silence.

It was then she realized, the once so colorful kaleidoscope had shattered into pieces to small to be fixed.
The dances of those faces she once knew so well began to disappear.