spanish

I’m sitting in the 8am sun by the end the driveway,
trying to get a handle on the day.
folding chair
house basket
coffee.
such is my custom
and my delight.
driveways are a luxury this part of town.
my back is to the brick
sidewalk to my right
sunshine upon my face and forehead
eyes closed.
a rundown hispanic fellow
about my age
appears
from nowhere
out of my blind,
asking for a lighter.
my eyes open and all is light.
he recognized my lighter sheath
heavy *** metal with the bottle opener at the bottom
told me that he had had the same one;
picked it up from some no name bodega
out of where he originated in
spanish harlem.
he began telling me his life story, you see.
he never heard the word
‘****’ until he moved to
Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.
told me he was the black sheep
of the little family he had left,
and that he hadn’t seen them in years.
he stood before me on the sidewalk
in the morning sunlight.
I asked him for a cigarette.
he was raised tangled in
a cultural straight jacket;
one tailored to his demographic.
an urban person of color.
his Divine Masculine
red lined and impoverished.
hand me down outfit
tj max rap music video.
I told him I identified as a stray dog,
sitting by the end of the driveway
8am sun.
he told me he was just doing the best he could.
best he can
with what he got.
our hearts were bleeding there together
pooling up on the driveway
8am sunshine
sky, blueish white.
I told him where I worked,
gave him the address
told him
come get some free samples of CBD.

everyday I forget that
it isn’t my job
to
save anyone.
he’s walking away with a limp up west orange.
i close my eyes.
I hope he doesn’t need any CBD.

©️  Jordan Gee

Over the quiet distant moons @Pretty soon
I feel it coming like a long awaited cartoon.
That stallions ship.
passing in moonlit flights, rearing its engine again.
Telling me stories on the how's where's and when's.
Rewriting my pains repeatedly. What was The beautiful love story.
In all of its old glory.
That was now used to be.
It I will not let recapture me.
H/I/M wanting me back wanting me to believe again.
Never again want, a need to back  up and pack.
No more sad dreams of hopes I can't get back.
H/i/m Lied lied once,  lied more then twice, became uncountable.
Excuses timed out. Good wishes and desires @undiscernable.
Actions ought to show out and speak of our good intents.
Honorable, let me show you my good deeds.
If I want better.. How can I  u-turn back to where I was lost.
Be it I'm a lover of commitment, giver of faithfulness equipped for stabilities.
logos of inner peace, removing foolishness at all cost.
Patiently listening.. full ear on learning. having hands full of pleasantries.
No room to be considerate of your unreasonable pitch.
Come now shut down
turn it down.
Cut off hustles handles of  this hopeful switch.
Computers on a sudden glitch...
Must be time to release turn up your frown.
Let us accept these fields are pleased as we realize its over.. DONE.
selinasharday H/E/R 9/24 S.A.M

A sky of blue above
Miles of dirt below
A world of everything between
Beyond that?
I don't know

One foot in front of the other
I stumble through existence
When I began I never imagined
I would travel such a distance

Caring too much about the wrong things
Not enough about what I should
Mixed up from every angle
Feel bad but am told I'm good

Friends fade further from me
As the years steal memories
Moments indistinct and grey
Wishing I could make time freeze

Take me back to certainty
Before life got so off track
When the world was full of color
Instead of shades of black

Now depression is my ball and chain
Following wherever I go
Heavy and awkward to carry
Have no choice but move slow

It is easier to just stand still
Than to pull with all my might
So everything changes around me
While I waste away night after night

I see smiles on faces all around
But when I paint one to match
It just doesn't look the same
And it wills me to detach

Hope used to sit in the palm of my hand
Now I grab and it's not there
In it's place is a sticky substance
I've come to learn is despair

Fall apart over and over
Every time I manage to sew my seams
Doesn't take long for a stitch to break
And out pours joy in little streams

Until I am left deflated and empty
Wondering where I went wrong
I could conquer my misery
But I've found I'm not that strong

Wading through a sea of distress
Shore further with each crashing wave
So I carry on way over my head
Too deep for anyone else to save

Ask me to fall in love?
Love is a sickness,
and should it leave such scars
as it had the last time I was afflicted,
I might shrivel up and die.

Dare it to leave wounds without sutures?
Skin without scratches?
Bodies without bruises?

Two afflictions of the mind are unbearable:
Both of two in love
And the sadness that sullies it.

Distance has become my new lover,
and I cower behind her,
I beg her not to let me get hurt like before,
Lest I fall sick again.

The thought of being in love with anything else feels
Intense,
Like fingers digging much too far
Into my skin,
Drawing the deep oxygenated blood to the surface.

You never can go back
Back to the beginning
Begin and end again
Again where we started
Started this mess
Mess of a romance
Romance is dead
Dead is my heart
Heartbroken you left me
Me and her together
Together we’ll be fine
Fine, you win, I love
Love who I thought you to be