When waking up
from my sleeplessness
I am tired

of the task
to create
a new past
anyhow

grafted onto
who I have been
with a family
and a mother
who knew me

to create
a second life
under a sun
bright enough

to warm me
and bleach
the shadows

Destruction, and then

the dust settles, the wind blows --


Of a new era?

Look out for the flickering lights
I heard some glass cracking
shards geting swallowed by the hurricane's tyranny
and the tyranny pleading at patriarchy's feet.
Look out for the desparation
penetrating out of rough gilded eyes
flowers wrapped in hands withering over time
and love swirling among rusted frames
   in oldest bus stand of town.

Indigenous!
Belong, in place.
Eligible to be? (Unpaid)
Tracing comfort. (confronted)
Distribute all rawness.
Attribute all peace.
Abolish odd disturbances.
Against all odds, shadowing perspective.
Feeling at ease...  Just ME! (Relieved)
Canvased in dirt immersed in blood. (Rituals)
Unleash the royal beast.
Reveal all - ME. (Lead)
Smudged, focused on the challenge.
Do you see?
ME?

i used to hide from your pain
change myself for you
and i called it love
blindly following you
until you broke me

so i sat in my room eating icecream
when was the last time i was without you?
my heart is bruised, but its healing
cause i found people
that loved me through my problems
and they mended my tender heart

so that one day,
i can truly find love
and be reborn

This year clothes me like an old coat
Worn at the elbows, with saggy shoulders
A smell that suggests more wears than washes,
***** tissues and receipts filling pockets
A tear in the lining from a drunken fall,
A tear of pain from an emotional fool
Wiped on a sleeve to preserve my masculinity.

I need to shed this year like a skin
As a spider, a lobster, a snake in the sun
To outgrow and move on from restrictive tissue,
Embrace the world as new again,
Fool myself on New Year’s Eve
I emerge like the butterfly from its cocoon
Reveal my flamboyant new wings,
To kid myself I am reborn.