My heart can feel the rush
In my skin you can see the blush
Sitting here I can feel the invisibility
Want to let go my fears and ghosts
But here I'm a fool covered of dust
Trying to ignore the sounds around
In my mind I want to leave this place
In my heart I want to show my face
But instead I'm hiding in the shadows
The night is lonely and cold
And I'm still asking to be bold
Lord all I need is a little push
I'm here going straight to the ruin
Remember how it was at the beginning
When no one knew my name
Maybe this is the sign I've been asking for
Maybe I should stop keeping waiting more
The fear is taking over me quickly
I should stand up and be a man
And take control of my shaking hands
Can't you see I'm here with chains?
The bravery was all in vain
It bothers me the cold in the air
Who am I lying to? It's my all fear instead.
Another opportunity I let passed by
Another regret stocked in my mind
But trust me I learned the lesson
I'll never get the chance to fit in
Trust me I won't longer to be seen
I stopped believing in hopes
Another wasted night
Yes.

"A place can never replace a person,"

That's what you said to me
As you hugged my curvy frame
Against that door frame
Before I turned
to watch you leave

It's a long long time,  
This Poet in me, been sleeping,
A real gem, lives within,
Finally got awaken,
After this heart,
Of mine bled and broken.
Now it's narrating,
That a Poet takes over,
And is my new lover.
Fervor is her pen,
To put those words penned.

the coldness
of the metal
against her skin,

the warmth
of the crimson
staining her wrists,

they complemented each other
so perfectly,
in a way that she never
complemented
her love.

Black ink drips into clear water; it diffuses.
I am a pebble, thrown,
Skimming the surface until it loses;
I am submerged but not alone.
There is blackness all around me,
Thin but clearly evident.
Water bodies are my happy places;
Black is a lack of color- a numbness.
I could dive into the ocean,
But apathy would follow my path.
I am running, breathing heavily,
But I can't escape the crawling black.
There is an inkwell inside everyone,
But mine- I have acknowledged it.
Try as I have to escape the thoughts,
It latched onto the acknowledgment.

Once in my life, a few years past,
I dove directly to the black,
Hating the world outside my water glass-
The only way to block the mass.

Since then, the ink has followed me,
Bodies of water to water bodies,
Creating a film through which I see,
A subtle, haunting apathy.

We're not so different, you and I.
There is an inkwell inside everyone.
You are sitting on the lid of yours.
From mine, I am on the run.

I don't know what this is;
You've gone ballistic.
Right now I'm dodging words,
but who knows what a fist is?
A figment
of my imagination,
creation
of possible scenarios
that I don't want to think about,
bruises forming on my arms
and gazes screaming, "let me out."
I'm not doing this;
I tell this to myself now,
but I forgave you once,
and I'll forgive you if it all plays out
like it does in my nightmares-
blank stares.
I'm hollowing out,
and I'm not about
to tell you how
I feel.
It's surreal.
I don't want to believe it,
but there's a lot I don't want to believe,
my heart on my sleeve,
and you're wiping your nose in it.
That's not why I care.
I care for the times
when the tears aren't there.
I'm only in love with part of you,
the part that seems to be right now;
I love all the parts I've met,
but there's a nagging inside
that doesn't trust you somehow.
I just feels like there's a side of you
that I've only started meeting;
the loving loses meaning
when it comes with painful greetings
with this new side of you.
I'm tired of ending every night
on a sour note.
I want to let it go,
but I can't.
You have so much power over me,
using me,
repeatedly,
because I believe
that I love you,
and I already forgive you
for anything you've yet to do.
It's sickening to know the truth.

I don't know what this is;
You've gone ballistic.
Right now I'm dodging words,
but who knows what a fist is?
A figment
of my imagination,
creation
of possible scenarios
that I don't want to think about,
bruises forming on my arms
and gazes screaming, "let me out."
I'm not doing this;
I tell this to myself now,
but I forgave you once,
and I'll forgive you if it all plays out
like it does in my nightmares-
blank stares.
I'm hollowing out,
and I'm not about
to tell you how
I feel.
It's surreal.
I don't want to believe it,
but there's a lot I don't want to believe,
my heart on my sleeve,
and you're wiping your nose in it.
That's not why I care.
I care for the times
when the tears aren't there.
I'm only in love with part of you,
the part that seems to be right now;
I love all the parts I've met,
but there's a nagging inside
that doesn't trust you somehow.
I just feels like there's a side of you
that I've only started meeting;
the loving loses meaning
when it comes with painful greetings
with this new side of you.
I'm tired of ending every night
on a sour note.
I want to let it go,
but I can't.
You have so much power over me,
using me,
repeatedly,
because I believe
that I love you,
and I already forgive you
for anything you've yet to do.
It's sickening to know the truth.

I carried my burden
Sat at your doorstep

Contemplated a thousand excuses
to not turn to you
to walk away

You opened the door
finding me at your knees
scratches and broken bones

I sank in to your arms
The burden lifted

You are there
Even when I am not here