The fabric of my life is a tapestry
Woven together with tragedy

There are black threads of loneliness
Blue threads of sadness
Red threads of the angriness
Yellow threads for my minds sickness
Orange threads for craziness
Purple for my madness
Gray threads for deeds of heartlessness
Pink threads for those rare moments of tenderness
Of course there is clear, see through thread for the emptiness

Now look really close, fine little silver threads can be found of happiness
As well as shiny bright golden threads of hopfulness
It's what holds it all togeather
So no matter what storm I must weather
My beautifully tragic tapestry will be wrapped tight around me
The picture in the end will be so wonderfully sad and beautiful, it will make your eye's tear just to see

Your mind will have trouble comprehending how something so sad and tragic
Can create something so darkly beautiful, it seems like magic
It's because I've lived in the dark so long
I've learned to see beauty were it seems to not belong
Out of place and wrong

But in the darkness the silver and gold threads shine so bright
You would of never even seen them in the light

Well my sinuses are ******* me over
And my eyes are bloodshot and my brain is getting pretty close to dead
So I figured I'd write a birthday poem before I get some allergy medicine in my head

First I wanna thank God, and my family and friends
For putting up with me for two decades
Because I know that there were plenty of times
Where I could've ended up 6 feet under via the thoughts in mah head

Second I wanna thank all the people that read and support my writings
I wouldn't be half the writer that I am today
If you guys hadn't discovered me I would think to know what I'd do

So thank you all for reading this sappy piece, because I have a birthday to celebrate
So because I'm a portal fan, of course I'll  be eating pie, not cake

"There are no words to describe how I feel."
That is one of the most common phrases ever used.

But it is true and so is "I love you."

From the day I first talked to you I knew there was something.
The first time I video chatted with you I had a certain kind of feeling.
   Something that I never felt before.

Everyone always says they know what love is but you never really know until you have met the one.

I fell for you the first time we talked.
I started falling in love at first video chat.
I fell in love with you before I knew what was going on.
You had my heart on an Un-breakable chain that was tied to yours.

The day I met you in person the butterflies could have carried me away.
I carried the biggest smile on my face with nerves hidden behind it.

My nerves where sky high. You where perfect. You were hot! You were smart. You were funny. You made me smile.
We were in love!

When you asked me to be your wife I started to cry. Happy tears. Our life together was just beginning.
We were in love and everyone knew it!

I wake up in the morning with a huge smile. The butterflies still lifting me up.  You are perfect. You are hot smart kind and funny. You are laying next to me! I hold you close. I am never letting you go.

I love you.

Never getting a full nights rest,
Imagining what if, had we tried our best.
Gathered thoughts come day and night,
Haunting me, with all their might.
Thinking back to the times we had,
Memories only, of your face so sad.
All the good times are never near,
Remembering the negative, is a constant fear.
Everything's a mess and no good thoughts keeping,
S*eeing you only; as my nightmares come creeping.

- James Arce

Tonight I laid my head down,
wanting to finally get some rest.
Again the thoughts kept coming,
I really am trying my best.

My mind begins to wander,
The thoughts come all to quick.
Intentions only of dreaming,
My plan won't seem to stick.

My mind frustrated and shouting,
No telling when it will cease.
It's become a mental prison,
And I pray for its release.

Curious where my dreams are,
Has the shouting scared them away?
Unsure how long it's been now,
I see the Sun bring in a new day...

- James Arce

My mind numb again
Testing times long forgotten
Back to who I was

- James Arce

My hair is not wavy long
My smile leaves much to be desired
My voice can't keep to the tune of song
My personality has long expired
I stay up till 2am
No need for beauty rest
Because zombie walking through days
Eyes clouded with grey
Is when I'm at my very best

My poetry is mediocre
I failed my English test
I'm a contradiction
But I wish I was normal
like the rest
I've always come across as
a little off
Like stale milk
or green bread
And I bet you the Nile is as long
as my list of young regrets.

But how can I not live?
Time's a ticketing-tock
I have to undo the lock on my life
and the strife of my family debts
that caused us to be stuck here
In the depths of ambitious hopelessness.

And confused I may be
But I tell you that, one day, we will be.

And I promise if you let me, Freddy
I'll be the best friend you'll ever have
All I have to do is plan
                                    my steps and
                                                 try not to step
                                                     so ******* your booted toes anymore,
I am going to try.

And I will never cry
or fall
For a man, as tall or tattooed
Because his arms are like a noose
Who leaves you to hang
And you'll feel to
Never
Live
Again.

When I'm happy
Nothing can go too bad
It's like I've got sunshine all wrapped up
In a brown paper bag

But when I'm down
I feel broken into splinters and pieces
Of **** that's not even worthy of the lowliest of dung beetles

It's a weird emotional map for me
Everyday either a rising hill or yet another deep valley
But I've cruised through both, not through
Perseverance but through faith
It wasn't easy believing, but that and my family helped keep me straight

THE CAPTAIN
When I took my first kick,
I knew I will score
I knew the spectators will cheer
the fans will praise.

I can play soccer all I need is
The refree's guide,
the Coach instruction,
the anti-supporters critizms
and the staffs support to soar greater.

The target I will never miss
the flag I will surely lift high
to the fans desire.

My team is the best
I'm the Captain
I'm the focus point.

You me
Us
Or is it just you
Are you selfish
Or are you going to be with me
You Are nice
Or is that just an act
Or are you going to be with me for times end
Or are my felling for me true
Cmon im losing control over these thoughts for you