He has sensitive teeth, yet 
he sips frigid liquids for 
the same reason he goes out 
of his way to stamp on ants.

-
by Aleksander Mielnikow | Alek the Poet

Do you ever just have those moments
When your heart turns black and rots
Your mind gets high on the angst
The suffering is all you need
And you want it... more of it
Listen to gruesome, terrible songs
Sounds of screaming and pain
Loss and grief wrap you like a blanket
It hurts but you’re at home
It’s dangerous but you feel safe
And then the moments come more often
Blurring into days... weeks...
Until you’ve lived in your agony for months
Begging for something more
Tell me a story
Tell me of death and tragedy
Tell me of self destruction
It’s addicting to me

Cutting my organs and rearranging my bones
Discarding of the skin like ***** band aide
Watering insecurities and dipping in my pink
Fitting me in the solace of your neck
But never in your arms
Drowning in your touch
Etching into my memory the bitter sweetness of this
One sided love
Craving your torture and remedy in one.....

I found a valley dark and red with blood.
Emotions bound inside released, a flood.

An intense craving for physical pain.
Is this the sign of someone who’s insane?

I’d drag a serrated edge on my skin.
Not resisting, I let the darkness in.

And afterwards I couldn’t get it out.
Reeling inside I’d scream and cry and shout.

It kept going, till it overtook me,
and it wasn’t going to let me be.

What scared me the most was wanting to stay,
and dwell in the darkness every day.

So then I felt like I had popped my top.
Truthfully, I didn’t want it to stop.

The pain had a way to make me alive,
but if I continued I’d not survive.

If I did more, and it was still going,
the scars on my legs would keep on growing.

Finally I was able to end it.
Others helping me get out of the pit.

It’s an ongoing and a constant fight.
Resisting the cravings every night.

So this poem I made for those of you,
who are like me, fighting this demon too.

You are not alone. It may feel that way.
If you’re suffering, don’t be scared to say.

Hit me up yeah

In the smoke and haze
I could lie for days
Bound by dreams
Of vivacious scenes

A matriarchal mistress
From Sacher-Madoche novella
Gleaming eyes; a cruel smile
Courtesy could not last for a mile

Spank and strike,
Dearest love and goddess
Do not shirk from such duty
****** and tantalising

Bask in decadent moonlight
By the wisp of cold wind
Cure your sadism
And sate your masochism

Within piquant smell of leather
Find your balance
Between lust and love
Dealt with swift blows so keen and easy

All whilst recounting your ****** burden
Unto lovely Aphrodite
She is taken with vile passion
And laden with fur and velvet