The gardeners are too noisy in the morning
I can't stay asleep
I hear the chainsaw's screams
I feel the rose's pain

My head throbs from not sleeping
Long nights buried in books
Cold nights wrapped in blankets

The cats fight and the babies cry while
I let the shower run hot
Chest burning
Suffocating breaths in thick steam

I went to bed early
My hair still wet
I closed my heavy eyes
Searched my pill box
nothing

Then the tears came flowing
Pouring down her face
And the release in relinquishing her pain into the open,
Even if it was her alone in her room,
Brought a stillness of peace
At least, the closest thing to it she'd felt in a while
And so she wrote and she wrote and she wrote
Hoping it would take the pain out of her and onto the paper instead
Let her make sense of it all
And figure out what to do.
But no help came and the picture remained muddled
So with her tear stained cheeks she curled up to sleep
Praying it would be her last