he was sitting back on a shaded picnic table
his wooden cane laying across the bench
peering towards Luray and Shenandoah Park
absorbing it's beauty while he still had the chance
I was on my morning walk
a few miles
my attempt to remain in some semblance of shape
stave off the inevitable for a bit longer
I wasn't far behind this gentleman
perhaps in his late 70's
10 - 15 years passes like an unrecognizable blur
when you reach this stage
what was he thinking about
I wondered
the kids he never sees
the wife that may or may not still share his days
or perhaps...the love that he let slip away
into the fading mist...his past
I thought I'd say hello on the next pass
but he was gone

As I wander this land
I've got loneliness
clinging onto my hand

Unknown footsteps
disrupt my journey
my lips shiver
my eyes teary

As I begin my run
I scream your name
my throat goes dry
by eyes see no one

I continue my screams
my feet bleed
and I wonder
if I'm somebody you don't need

Mr.Unknown's steps seize
a wonderful escape indeed

Yet I fall to the ground
weep and lay
because you're never there
be it night or day

I stand alone in a crowded room
Surrounded by shells of beings, often calling me a friend
But, none of them know my internal doom
There’s not one, on this forlorn plane that ponders my end

And then there’s you, the one who always held me through
Through dark days, and stormy nights
For eternity is was just us two
Win, loose, and draw of our domestic fights

To be called beloved, is the nectar of mortal life
To love and be loved, in moments of strife.

And yet, I doubt your presence next to mine
Facing an ultimatum, I choose neither
Wishing our souls would intertwine
But, I know you don’t know me either

I’m continuously trapped in lessons I should have known
Empirically…  I compulsively, find myself alone.

does a sacred stone
still retain its worth
if it was never taken
from it’s hidden earth?
could it truly be
a treasure trove
if no one sees
its alluring glow?
-
is my mind right to tell me
that invisibility doesn’t cause irrelevance?
or is that just a way to cope with
the ever feared unfounded-forgotten-pestilence

I tiptoe around the world
like I'm afraid to wake it up,
to draw attention to the clicks
my shoes make

Silence does pervade
while I sit idle on the sidelines,
never close to the centre,
here it is safe

In the background I fade,
observant but cautious,
already weary of this life
and all its pains

But here is a new day;
flickering eyelids do perceive it;
as long as I'm here I'll muse
but not participate

I tiptoe around the world,
not only to leave it undisturbed,
but to keep my soul still full
with the smallest ray

i'm sorry
i cannot talk today
my curtains have cried that
the sun is too warm
to be here
where things come
to die
i haven't eaten
since yesterday and
the door is still unlocked
because i am nothing
worth keeping safe
i told my mom
that i loved her
with my mouth closed
and she cried
because i cannot talk today
my walls are panicking
the four of them caving in
like weak knees, i think
they agree with the
curtains
i haven't eaten since yesterday
and the sun has tapped on
my window twice
i have no reply to give
it doesn't belong
here where things do
not live
i don't like myself
because i love my
mother and i am
no piece of her
she can only
love once
and i cant
not love someone
who gives me their coat
a coat, my standards
are high like the ceiling
that rots while i sob
because i cannot talk today
i'll sleep under the bed again
just like last tuesday
when you told me that i was
too haunted to touch and too
hollow to reach
you didn't have to
break that truth
it cuts me knowing that
i do not
deserve soft things
or warm things like
the sun that bangs
on my window
shouting that i'm someone
he'd like to meet