"Nothing you could tell me would ever disappoint me."
From the things I've heard you say, I can name at least three

Whoever said "the truth will set you free"
Never had secrets like you or like me

"Why don't you ask for help
If you know you're not alright?"

Because we all know what happens
To cornered dogs who bite

People keep saying "Just be yourself!"
But they act disappointed when you're not someone else

Ignorance is only bliss
When you're the one the effects miss

If pain develops character, why am I so lousy?

If love wakes you up inside, why am I so drowsy?

If life is an adventure, I'm a stereotypical hobbit.

If I was holding my own, well then I think I might have dropped it.



I'm walking on eggshells, and they're cutting my bare feet.

I live in a glass house, and it's about to sleet.

Love sets your soul on fire, yet I'm feeling pretty cold.

New dawn, new day, they say, but these nights are getting old.



I've barked up the wrong tree, and I'm being driven to the pound.

Back to the drawing board, but I think I lost my crayon.

I'm having my stomach pumped, cause I bit off more than I could chew.

If actions speak louder than words, then I'm so lazy I'm a mute.



I was burning all my bridges, but then I caught on fire.

I never gave up my day job, I just wasn't ever hired.  

Can't judge a book by its cover, but my story is ugly too.

I would make a play on words, but my theater class is through.  



If love is blind, then why do I have 20/20 vision?

I was accused of cutting class, but I made no such incision.  

In the heat of the moment, my icecream sadly dripped.

Beating around the bush was fine, until I freaking tripped.

  

If clouds have silver linings, then I see an empty sky.

It's hard to keep my head up, while the sun is in my eyes.  

I guess I need to lighten up, but I was saving battery power.

If it's all a piece of cake, I have an allergy to flour.

It takes one to know one swift fell swoop
like a bat out of hell and certainly the belfry.
If you've something to prove to the birds and the bees,
I won't bat an eye at your rhinoplasty.

I'll take two hoots, 'cause I sure won't give them.
Find somebody else to get up and go;
I cry like I fly like a carrion crow
and I've two left feet and no time to tango.

It takes three strikes 'til it's not just company
any more — it's a crowd and my agoraphobia
is making this worse, so I might disperse.

If you don't quite care, let's put two and two together;
playing pretend we're birds of a feather.
I could commend, but that's such a no-no;
you're more like a doornail to me, less like a dodo.

And if you don't much mind, I might just take five.
I'm chicken-livered, but at least alive
though I feel like a dead duck, dusted and done.
I won't be there, I'll stay fair and square,
right back at square one.

Now can you see how this is cyclic?
Makes me feel one sandwich short of a picnic,
up the wall, and driving me sick.
Apologies, I don't mean to nitpick,
and I know I've a number of bees in my bonnet,
but I've zero interest in your haiku and sonnets.

So here's one for the road,
turn by the way the devil drives you home,
and one good turn deserves
another.

"the pen is mightier than the sword"
but "actions speak louder than words
I tried "beating around the bush"
even though my hands held two birds

i've played "the devil's advocate"
and i tried "sitting on the fence"
heard it "straight from the horse's mouth"
the horse made "horse sense"

i'm "letting the cat out of the bag"
i can't "let sleeping dogs lie"
you "barked up the wrong tree"
we will never see "eye to eye"

is there "a method to my madness"?
"your guess is as good as mine"
i'm listening to "the voice of reason"
the one "i heard through the grape vine"

In Spring my feet shake ash
like pony in morning do
Race the sun to graze upon the
fruits bearing seed and drum
Hum an i tea cups of id i yums!