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Ayin Azores Apr 2015
The pain is creeping up again
I cannot control it
I don’t want to live with it

The pain is creeping up again
How do I stop my heart from beating?
How do I stop this longing?

The pain is creeping up again
It breaks my bones
It breaks my soul
NitaAnn Feb 2015
I
am  lost
struggling
emotionally
Life is more than
I can currently handle
Nobody understands
the inner workings
of my mind
hurting
tired
me

I am such a walking mess, do not know what to think, where to turn who can I trust, who should I trust, who is real, am I even real, how to make this all stop spinning and just make sense. You say you understand and I believe that you really do want to understand but  you do no get how my mind processes thoughts, emotions, frustrations..

I have struggled for too long, I do not know another way, I try to learn, to follow your examples, to try it your way but  my mind cannot get it.

I have tried and now I am body, mind, and soul depleted.
Circa 1994 Feb 2015
**** I'm annoyed.
At everything.
At every one.
At you.
Those things you said
Get stuck in my head
And poison my precious
Peace of mind.
It's fine.
Everything.
And every one.
And me.
At least I will be
Sometime soon.
Advent Dec 2014
she
she was slapped ******* her face
she did things on her own
she uttered the unimaginable
she was desperate
she was hurt
she didn’t know what to do
she wanted to let loose
she wanted to breathe
she wanted to cover herself under her sheets
she was cold
she was confused
she wanted to die

and so she wrote
Artistry Dec 2014
I work hard & play harder, expressing my magna carter
Give and take in life, you should see expressions when we barter

It’s the code of ethics,Artistrythe message
Quote the reference cause I been known to show the people who the best is

Leave you restless, have you wondering and asking questions
Taking notes it’s a thin line, anorexic

My manifesting counting blessings, mount the back of aggression
And tame the beat with my sessions from my adolescence

Now I’m grown dog, game of chess playing leap frog
Where the contenders, too quick to surrender, claim me the winner

In other words its competition versus me and beginner
Just a side with my dinner, been hot from day one, straight through the winter

Walk with my chin up, built from the chin-ups
This is my get up, that I flex when I sit-up,

Some used to call me narcissistic, I guess that’s realistic
Cause appearance means everything, put that on your wish list

Handle my business, even if it means getting me twisted
I risk it, I’m on the rise you soft as bisquick that’s ironic isn’t it
That’s the same biscuit.

Who the next in line? I know you got a vest fine
Ye, that ***** **** ill, right next to mine
Lora Cerdan Oct 2014
There was once a kite flyer
who flew his kites so high
He can hold on to his strings
and never get tired

He makes his kites by hand
He makes 'em colorful
He makes 'em grand

So one day, the kite maker flew his finest kites
In the hopes of showing everyone his amazing feats of flight
But because there were so many and the wind was strong
His strings tangled and the flight patterns got all wrong
one of the strings snapped and one of the kites flew
the wind took it and away it blew

One by one the strings broke
and all the kite flyer can do was to watch them float
away from him, the kites were set free
All his hard work, his dreams. his reality

The kite flyer looked up the sky
crying and regretting
There's nothing left of him
nothing but broken strings
I don't know how to fly kites let alone make one
There was a time it was f! that noise
then there was yelling at the boys
an alcoholic cacophony
we put the fun in dysfunctionality.

Only a wish for peace and quiet
then it was there
and there was you
and quiet you could do.

I had scars, horrors to tell
i needed to cry and scream and yell.
A listener you turned out to be.
A perfect friend for me.

I have talked it through
and here are you
quiet in your independence
but nothing to say hence.

I see your horrors now
and wish for you to take a turn
and talk it through and learn
how healing it can be to let it out you see.
Please, just talk to me.
Quiet men, i love one. He is what he is, there is no changing that. I wish sometimes he could win the fight inside you see, and finally talk to me..
NitaAnn Jun 2014
I don't know why I do this, well I don't know why I do a lot of things but that's not the point. I don't know why I look at this as something I'll "get over" or something that will go away eventually like a cold or the flu. I find myself wondering when I can go on with life, not have to deal with _ or think about _ or experience this or that. I'm waiting for some magical day when I wake up and it's all over, it's all gone and is only a piece of my history. How silly of me to hope and dream that I can live a normal life free of worries, haunting dreams, shaking, and doubts. How foolish of me to forget that this doesn't go away. I have to live with this forever.
*"The familiar sting wells in my eyes and my heart sinks deep in my chest. Darkness takes over and I imagine my good-byes. Nothing can stop it; tonight there will be no rest. Images flash, too gruesome to share...such a heavy burden to bear."

— The End —